This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 21 Feb 08, 7:15 PM IndelibleMarker UK(E), 6 yrs     |
These are really rough figures, but they are based on the number of subs, Doms, slaves and switches of each gender (Trans and couples not included) online in the last hour according to Collarme.com (I know collarme is terrible, but it's easier to count the numbers on and should still give a rough idea of ratios) Males: Dom: 212 Switch: 31 Sub: 178 Slave: 50 Sub & slave combined: 228 Total: 471 Females: Domme: 55 Switch: 12 Sub: 100 Slave: 21 Sub and slave combined: 121 Total: 188 Therefore; Dom:Domme = 4.16 : 1 Switch(M):Switch(F) = 2.58 : 1 Sub(M):Sub(F) = 1.88 : 1 Total(M):Total(F) = 2.51 : 1 Dom:sub(F)= 1.75 : 1 Domme:sub(M)= 0.24 : 1 Dom:sub(M) = 0.93 : 1 Domme:sub(F) = 0.45 : 1 I know this doesn't even attempt to answer the OPs question, but it does show that the stats tie up with the theory. The figure for male Dom vs male sub being relatively close to 1:1 indicates that men are not naturally inclined to one side of the fence, at least strikingly, more than the other. However, the low value for Domme:sub(F) does give the impression that women are naturally far more inclined to walk the submissive route. I'm not going to put my balls on the line as to whether that's caused by nature or nurture though! Tuam matrem feci, Edited 18 Mar 08, 10:47 AM by IndelibleMarker | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 7:21 PM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
Given that the stats are from CollarMe, it could well just be caused by men with profiles claiming to be fem subs "Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 7:47 PM scott_s UK(N), 5 yrs |
very good job, IM! Edited 21 Feb 08, 7:57 PM by scott_s | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 7:58 PM Caringuy 4 yrs |
Judging by some other internet sites it seems all roads lead to London and or Midlands.
N.Wales/Borders country doesn't seem to exist.
| |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 7:58 PM Priapuss UK(PO), 4 yrs |
Have they been devalued on the open market? The credit crunch is really biting hard now.
Today's the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 8:05 PM Tangible UK, 4 yrs |
Oh, the wonderful Bitchy Jones she has a lot to say about this, here: http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2007/09/22/you-... and all over the rest of her site. A lot of sense here.
| |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 8:05 PM Elysium UK(EH), 5 yrs |
I meant from the point of view of a primary partner. A Domme by definition has a sub as a primary partner. Those that don't fuck sub men, are bad dommes in my opinion. At least for primary partner material from a sub point of view. For me, I am mainly attracted to submissive women, therefore I want to fuck them. It stands to reason a straight domme would be attracted to submissive men and want to fuck them. How many female submissives would view a male dom, who was their primary partner and didn't fuck them as a good dom?
"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." - Albert Schweitzer. | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 8:13 PM sisterhoney61 3 yrs |
I spend a lot of time in chat rooms (no, I have no life!) and I've seen the behavior of the male subs in the rooms. They rarely acknowledge anyone else's presence and immediately go for the Dommes. In my regular room there are three Dommes who are regulars, though W/we will get others who come in there from time to time. The male subs whine and beg and plead. Heaven help them if they should PM any of the Dommes without permission. I love it when the Dommes turn on those. When I go into a chat room I try to be polite and respectful to E/everyone there. The male subs who are regulars there are polite and respectful, but the others behave horribly and if the Dommes don't want to talk to them then they get bitchy and mean towards the Dommes. It makes me wonder if these male subs behave the same way IRL as they do in chat. ~~sisterhoney~~ | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 8:13 PM Elysium UK(EH), 5 yrs |
I think having a valid theory is the first step in changing things. To change things you are in a better position if you understand why things are the way they are. It is an interesting point you make about the perception people have about BDSM toys, fetish wear etc. I think that a lot of sub males would be happy with someone who just takes charge. The bells and whistles aren't really that important when you get down to it. Thanks for posing a theory. "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." - Albert Schweitzer. | |||||
| 21 Feb 08, 8:24 PM Kitti_Whitaker 5 yrs |
Subs arent always primary relationships, in fact most Dommes on the scene have more than one sub and often none are primaries. If I have a primary partner, a "boyfriend", I will do whatever we both want, that may still not include penetrative sex, all depends on what is agreed and desired between the parties involved.
Edited 21 Feb 08, 8:26 PM by Kitti_Whitaker |
Yes that's very true I think. I know plenty of dominant women who do not identify as such per se. They certainly don't want to strut around in fetishwear, flog their partners, etc. Most male subs will expect this as part of the deal; so if that's not on offer, then perhaps they prefer to search for those women that will do the full monty. And perhaps there aren't enough women into fetishwear, bondage, CP etc; perhaps this is still a man's world; essentially it's still mainly men that buy porn and therefore are exposed more to kinky stuff. 