Posted by newfavourite
on Sat 16 Feb 08, 10:44 PM to newfavourite's blog.
You won't believe me if I tell you. I will tell you anyway. Until the last few months, I had never willingly watched or looked at pornography. The very thought of it made me angry, sick and tired. Too angry, sick and tired to go into the reasons why. Let's just call it a 'hard limit'.
This does not mean I managed to avoid the evil stuff altogether. Page 3 filtered into my visual consciousness, of course, as did top-shelf publications and the occasional channel 5 'documentary' about lap-dancing clubs. Once when I moved into a new student house, I found a copy of Playboy, the pages all crumpled, and an old piece of tissue stuck to one of them. I know it was naive, but I didn't realise guys actually DID that!
Then I read a book. An anti-porn book. Because we all like to read things that confirm our opinions don't we? The book was called: 'Not for sale: feminists resisting pornography and prostitution'. And, as expected, it made me hate the porn industry with a newfound vigour and repulsion. I even emailed the author and she sent me some links about how to get involved with 'anti-porn activism'. But, ironically, it was her heartfelt urging of me to add my name and my energies to the anti-pornography lobby that actually instigated my first forays into viewing porn. My 'hard limit' was about to be pushed.
The author of 'Not For Sale' told me about how one of the methods for campaigning against pornography is for activists to show a video about the porn industry and to talk about it. She said I could get hold of one, and begin by showing it to friends, and maybe to go on to give talks to larger groups of people. This small suggestion sent alarm bells ringing in my mind. It sounded, well, evangelical to me, and, as most evangelical movements are, highly insulting to people's intelligence. I tried to imagine sitting in my living room with a bunch of friends, showing a video nasty about the horrors of the porn industry (which I do think is choc-full of fucking horrific atrocities by the way), and telling them why it was wrong. wrong. wrong. Then asking them to burn their porn and see the light, and join me in a nice cup of tea. It was laughable. And this made me realise, that though my feminist and Marxist critique of pornography was pretty shit hot, as a consumer, a woman, a person who had sexual desires, I had absolutely no idea about it at all. Therefore how could I really give an informed opinion on the subject?
So I did some research. When you have your limits pushed you feel scared, disgusted, uncomfortable. I felt all those things, as I looked up some of the references online that were in 'Not for sale' itself. Most of what I saw I found to be pretty dire. Not sexy, not exciting, just sad. But, as I foraged further, with the help of some more useful guides (eg from this site), I realised to my amazement, that even I can be turned on by images that are made commercially with the aim of causing sexual arousal in the viewer (and profit for the maker).
Hard Limit? No. Mindfuck, personal/political minefield? Yes. The beginning of a beautiful friendship? I don't know. Now where did I put that copy of 'Anneka 21' from waterbondage.com? I want to get soaking wet...
Edited Sun 17 Feb 08, 9:51 AM by newfavourite
| 17 Feb 08, 11:30 AM verte UK(E), 8 yrs  |
You are the cat's pYjamas. Great blog! (edited to add: I just got a slap from my partner for spelling 'pyjamas' the American way, so I had to come and change it.) http://sm-feminist.blogspot.com/ Edited 17 Feb 08, 9:11 PM by verte | |
| 17 Feb 08, 1:51 PM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs |
Thank-you Edited by the continuity department! Edited 18 Feb 08, 8:35 AM by newfavourite | |
| 17 Feb 08, 7:52 PM Churon UK(PR), 7 yrs |
Great piece and interesting to read another perspective, i have never really found porn a big turn on (gets a bit repetitive after a while) but have to admit i do find every now and again something that does really interest me i think the last one was some water bondage actually. good luck in your continued exploration.
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| 18 Feb 08, 8:40 AM newfavourite UK(S), 4 yrs |
thanks for your comments. Yes I have a feeling the vast majority of what I find will be of little interest to me. I am always immediately put off by the way its presented anyway: all flashing lights and day-glo colours and GIVE ME MONEY! GIVE ME MONEY! signs... Edited 18 Feb 08, 8:41 AM by newfavourite | |
| 20 Dec 08, 1:17 PM wonderer UK, 5 yrs  |
Interesting. Here's a couple of weblogs I wrote, going through a similar journey. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/118103/ http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/176198/ I do find some porn arousing nowadays, and wish / hope there were such a thing as "Fair Trade" porn.
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