Posted by melody_A
on Fri 14 Nov 03, 10:04 PM to melody_A's blog.
I've met some weird and wonderful people via the 'net.
Obviously the most important person I've met is my
Master, our paths wouldn't have crossed had it not been
for the Internet and especially IC. However words of
caution from wise old mel (hey, and I'm not even
drunk). 
Had the idea for this subject, halfway through writing an email this evening. I was sharing some of my experiences with an 'online' friend. Forgive me my friend but I'm going to pinch some of the email for here.
Building a relationship online is really weird, you kinda feel safe sitting snug and warm in your own home so you can sometimes 'open' up a little too much. I have found myself telling people allsorts about me that I shouldn't (no wonder the media goes crazy about kids in chatrooms) and only later been really sorry when they've broken my confidence. I became such a regular in one particular msn chatroom I became a co-owner. How pleased was I sitting there night after night wielding my golden hammer? Turned into a right saddo.
When I first split with my husband I spent hours and
hours every night taking to people online, I hardly got
any sleep and people used to worry about me. Little
did they know it was because of my online chatting
obsession NOT because my marriage had just fallen
apart. Well I suppose it was because I needed friends
and the online ones seemed a safer bet. After all
every night I could hit the on button and 'hey presto'
there they where, magic. After a while I realised I
was becoming very lonely and depressed - I actually
needed some real life interaction. I pretended to the
world I was fine whilst using my online friends to deal
with my misery. I also realised, sometimes painfully,
these so-called friends weren't friends at all. Not
only that but some where blatant liars and shit-
stirrers. I'm not usually a trusting person in real
life, people have to really earn my friendship, and yet
online I was sharing some of my most intimate secrets.
I was being hurt by people whose voices I'd never heard
or faces I'd never seen, I'd lost control. 
I've made some lovely friends online and met some wonderful people, but now I've got it all into perspective. It's not 'real' and you need 'real' to function properly as a person. Well I do anyway. Now when I see people who only have online relationships, be it BDSM or vanilla, I worry about them. It becomes more and more real, it takes over your life, and then stops being a positive experience. Of course there are people I only know online that I'd like to upgrade to a real life friendship, and yes its worth investing time and effort into some. But sometimes I am concerned about what I read on here, I can't interfere, I have no right to, but some words haunt me long after I turn my computer off. After all who say's I'm right anyway.
On my deathbed I won't say, “I wish I spent more time at my computer”.
Just a thought. 
mel x
Edited Fri 14 Nov 03, 10:15 PM by melody_A
