Posted by melody_A
on Wed 5 Nov 03, 10:41 PM to melody_A's blog.
“I have suggested to Mel that I write the occasional word or two for her weblog, not because she needs my help but because, at times, she is just too flattering about me - and she has a charming modesty which prevents her mentioning her huge contribution to our exhilarating relationship.
It would seem I'm not alone in being inspired by Mel, judging by the figure of over 1000 hits on one of her recent weblogs. Were I running an advertising agency, I'd probably be looking to negotiate a lucrative pop-up on her weblog for one of my client companies with a line in leather goods! O.K., so the 1000+ readers was way above the norm, but clearly this girl has under- explored literary talent when it comes to describing a palpitating session! And while we're talking about talent, Mel is absolutely outstanding at SM role-play. She throws herself into a role, and it's as if she is that person in that place. All I have to do is set the scene and she can ad lib an entire character role in a totally convincing and original manner. Brilliant.
Not every playtime goes perfectly, though. Occasionally, you know, I get it wrong, not that you would guess that from her weblog. I misjudge her mood, perhaps underestimate how intimidating I can be, and take her to places she does not really want to go. She might have wanted to go there yesterday, could perhaps have enjoyed it tomorrow – but not today.
And I have to tell you this girl gets angry pretty quickly in such circumstances; it is primeval and she has to fight with herself incredibly hard not to give vent openly to her anger. It normally passes fairly rapidly, but, for those couple of minutes, I really sense the struggle in her to maintain a submissive posture and to bite her lip, because 'lippy' would come pretty naturally to her too.
At those times, I find the struggle in her for self- control truly erotic, her submission all the more satisfying because, when she is 'sorely' tested, submission does not come at all easily to her, much as she wants to give it, and much as she enjoys the triumph and excitement of achieving that submission.
Mel has only recently come out of a period in her life where a certain man boosted his own ego at the expense of hers – and it has left a few scars, most noticeably an ever-present, almost irrational, fear of failure. Indeed, so strong is this fear that Mel sometimes even manages to see a success as a failure, simply because of some tiny glitch in an otherwise faultless endeavour. This fear of failure extends to the dungeon and Mel's strength of character under such an intense self-doubt is highly impressive. The fact that the self-doubt is totally unwarranted does not make it any less real for her.
For any sub or bottom, reading this, who has experienced apprehension at the sight of some new and wicked-looking implement of correction, imagine how much more intense that apprehension would be, if it were combined with a fear of failure that was far greater than the apprehension created by the sight of that 'toy' itself. You may then start to understand just how special is Mel's submission to me. I love and admire her so much; she brings me great joy and pleasure and I hope, in her weblogs, some of you will also find inspiration.
O.K., for many of you that might just entail playing out some erotic scene she has described, but, for a few, those of you with your own doubts and fears, perhaps you will see, in Mel, a kindred spirit, someone confronting her darker fears with true resolve, yes, wanting to please me with her submission but, even more importantly, though she may not always be conscious of it, demonstrating to herself that, yes, she can.
Can what? Can just about anything, because her mind is strong, stronger than she knows herself, strong enough to take her to any place she truly wants to go. You might even get to read about the journey ahead in Mel's weblogs, doubtless casting an erudite eye on matters philosophical and merely skimming any salacious passages with which Mel occasionally chooses to humour the Page Three fraternity in her weblogs. And, yes, that would probably be about 99% of you; so, sorry, pretty dull fare for you this time, but don't worry; I'm sure Mel will be back shortly with some erotic SM tale for you. Well, she almost certainly will, just as soon as I next manage to get my hands on her!
Edited Wed 5 Nov 03, 10:42 PM by melody_A
