Posted by melody_A
on Sat 20 Sep 03, 2:45 PM to melody_A's blog.
It's hard having a relationship with someone who lives
almost 300 miles away. 
We talk on the phone everyday, email constantly and visit each other as much as possible but it still bloody difficult, especially when there is a problem to sort out. I suffer badly from lack of self-confidence when it comes to relationships, I worry constantly and am always seeking reassurances. It's weird because in every other aspect of my life I am confidence and 'sorted', I know I'm a good, mother, daughter, friend, worker …….. so why don't I know I am a good lover and partner? He tells me so many times how much he loves and cares for me, has done so many things for me to demonstrate his love and commitment, but always I am seeking his approval. He's older and more educated than me, privately educated, from a different class altogether, so I desperately try not to seem foolish, I want to impress so much I make a complete mess of the situation. Last night I cried and cried simply because he said it's wearing having to constantly re-assure me, today it all seems so stupid. He tells me I 'won' him a long time ago, and he doesn't want or need anyone else. Why do I put myself through so much torture?
Update: My period came today…… that explains
everything…. Life is rosy again. 
melody x
Edited Sat 20 Sep 03, 2:49 PM by melody_A
