Posted by melody_A
on Sat 6 Sep 03, 1:50 PM to melody_A's blog.
Been having a ponder about my first log and now I've come to the conclusion the only thing you now know about me is that I am a nosy cow…. or voyeur to making it sound better.
I struggle with this whole submission thing, but I do know I love pain. My Master say's I am more of a bottom (or painsult) than a sub, and definitely not a slave! So many labels and I don't feel comfortable with any really. But being here and reading these writings make me feel more at home than anywhere else. So sorry peeps I'm joining your gang.
I met my Master through this site three months ago. After getting lots of emails from completely unsuitable Masters, and chatting to a few hopefuls I just received an email from my Master and we just clicked. Being nearly 300 miles apart makes it difficult but fate was with us and we were able to meet within 10 days and everything is going well from there. It's weird because I've never felt this right with anyone else before, just feels so good. We only get to meet up every 3 weeks or so, but speak on the phone every day and of course the emails continue, so all in all it's going well. So well in fact we have spoken about me relocating to be with him. It's such a huge step and although it's what I want most in the world, I have loads of concerns and fears.
Can I cope with a 24/7 relationship? My long-term relationships have always been 'nilla.
Will I disappoint? Is he expecting more than I can provide?
Time together is so intense and emotional, how could I cope with that on a day-to-day basis?
I want him so much, love him and dream about being together 24/7 but have all these fears (I originally wrote 'doubts' but I don't doubt my feelings for him or his for mine). Enough of my ramblings.
mel x
Edited Sat 6 Sep 03, 2:05 PM by melody_A
