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| Hells_Bells |
Do you ever get the feeling that you're winning at life? When everything is coming up roses? Each day holds something new and exciting?
At the risk of sounding smug, I do.
It's the first time it's ever happened. That's not to say I've spent my life so far in ultimate heartache, assuming the position of a Dave Pelzer-esque cover photograph. Far from it. At the same time, I've not spent my life in a constant state of happiness, but who the fuck has apart from drug users and early morning radio DJ's?
I sat and I found myself thinking: "How thoroughly lucky I am."
Then I thought again.
I've never been a great believer in Luck, or Fate, or God or any of those things that people believe in.
Those good marks I got from Uni...well, that was because I worked hard, right?
That work I had published, and got paid for...that was me too!
The half a stone that dissolved off me in the last few weeks...well fuck me, but if I didn't make that happen too.
So I'm the culprit in all of this. With perhaps the exception of the delightful bruises I'm sporting at the moment...but I definitely played some part in that. I'd shake myself by the hand if I didn't look like I was trying to lick my elbow.
In light of these revelations, I'm organising my life. I bought a diary. Suede backed too. Smells lovely and I keep rubbing it against my cheek because it's so soft.
I started the clear-up operation yesterday. It's a very long story, but I've lived in a number of different places and managed to accumulate a massive amount of stuff. This stuff sits in the bedroom of my dad's house and more recently started spilling over into the spare room, which displeases the father figure immensely. So in I went, armed with a binbag and no remorse...until I found that Valentines card an ex sent...or my recorder I played when I was 7...oh dear.
Lots and lots of memories. Mostly in the bin. Thinking back, most of them are from times when I wasn't having a particularly great time, so away they went. I'm only halfway through, but starting to feel like a weight is slowly lifting. Plus the bonus of being able to fit my own stuff in the drawers helps.
I dunno why I wrote this blog. It's not particularly cynical, sardonic or any of the usual suspects that my blogs steer towards. It's more of a cathartic thing I guess. It doesn't belong on my main blog, nor does it belong on an angsty LiveJournal, so I'm putting it here. It can serve as a nice reminder of what I need to do when things are going wrong.
So, here's a note to future me. If you're reading this and things are shit, then make good stuff happen. Go on...run along, do it now. Thanks...and cut your hair. It looks silly.
| 6 Feb 08, 9:08 AM lil_Pup NL, 5 yrs  |
I'm not sure why you wrote you blog either but I'm glad you did. I feel good at the moment but reading your little post made me feel even better.
How can we grow old when we are not trying *The Delays | |
| 6 Feb 08, 11:51 AM pash_tracey UK(TS), 10 yrs |
hiya hun
as you and my other friends know things haven't been lucky for me and my family over the past couple of years, but i take a look around me and there are always people in a worse situation. despite all we've been through i can often say to myself " i'm lucky ". we are not always master's of our own destiny, but we are master's of how we feel, i wake up on a morning and choose to be happy, you see despite the sad/bad times there is usually a plus side and i look for it, the plus side to the recent events in my life are that my family are closer and stronger... see i am lucky a saying i find amusing " if it wasn't for bad luck i'd have no luck at all" good luck in clearing out the physical and emotional past hels luv n hugs tracey x i prefer the wicked rather than the foolish, for the wicked sometimes rest ( alexandre dumas) | |
| 6 Feb 08, 6:01 PM mackem_git UK(SR), 8 yrs |
Can you make up things that have gone wrong for me to impart sanctimonious wisdom about please? Otherwise I'll feel a bit redundant  Seriously, nice to read life's on the up hun. | |
| 6 Feb 08, 10:50 PM Hells_Bells UK(G), 7 yrs |
Thank you Of course when I wrote this blog about creating your own luck, I should have possibly put in a caveat in regards to shitty things happening that you just have no control over, as it wasn't an attempt to undermine those but as you say, it's completely subjective to events that are happening to you at a particular period in your life.
I guess being masters of how we feel is a far more appropriate way to look at it. I like that a lot x
If you hate a man, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have his shoes. http://obliterarti.wordpress.com/ |
