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| 29 Jan 08, 4:56 PM Ishmael UK(SE), 12 yrs  |
Superior? You wot? When I'm beating someone with a cane, I don't feel remotely superior - beating people (in the non-kinky world) is a very bad thing to do, and it reduces the perp to the level of the worst playground bully. I fully acknowledge that I can be horrible when I'm topping, expressing many characteristics that I genuinely deplore, in no way would I ever consider that to be superior. The joy of SM is that it provides the opportunity to embrace and enjoy the fact that beating someone is FUN, just don't kid me that doing it makes you anything other than morally worse than they are. The only reason to do SM is because you like your partner, and you both love playing sexual games about power restriction and cruelty; if it don't get you off on the act don't do it, certainly not if it's all you've got to make to make you feel good.
Quo vix attingent Foederati punire possumus Edited 29 Jan 08, 5:00 PM by Ishmael | |
| 29 Jan 08, 6:48 PM mini_velvet UK(EH), 6 yrs |
During normal life I don't feel inferior to my Dom/me, I feel different because we all have our own status's but not less than or more than. During play I *like* feeling inferior. I *like* being nothing more than a worthless slut pig, existing for their pleasure and torment. I find it incredibly empowering to be humiliated and degraded in this situation. And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. | |
| 29 Jan 08, 6:50 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Cracking!
Wot he sed
| |
| 29 Jan 08, 6:53 PM Rosalee UK, 7 yrs |
When I'm topping I don't feel superior. I get off on the power trip and inflicting pain but I recognise that I am only able to do this with the bottom's consent. The person that I am when I'm topping can be something of a monster, but a monster kept under control. I know if I have to, I can shove her firmly back in her box. I don't see her qualities as superior. Far from it. I think I would only let her out properly with someone I had deep feelings for, who knew and trusted me and vice versa. In fact I tend to feel somewhat in awe when someone allows me to do such dreadful things to them. They are most definitely not inferior to me. | |
| 29 Jan 08, 7:10 PM Penny_Louise 5 yrs |
'Superior' is such a terribly judgmental word. I've quoted you out of context, B, I know you don't stand by this anymore than I do. But that feeling does run through many people's 'appreciation' of kink relationships. If I'm domming someone, whether its a submissive or a waiter in a restaurant or a call centre operator or the driver in front, I do it through my own sense of purpose, my confidence in that situation and my expectation that I can get the other person, for whatever reason, to bend to my will. This is not necessarily because they are weaker than me, they may be less driven, they may wish to please me, it may be their job, they may have nothing better to do at the time. It may please them to submit or to help me, they may be conditioned to do it. If I'm submitting to someone, whether its within D/s, or a dentist, a doctor, or someone who has asked me to do something for them, its because I can trust the person or the situation, because its something that needs to happen and I can cope with it, because I feel good about the giving that's involved or because I feel good about the respect that the action shows. Its not because I feel inferior or weaker. Within D/s, unless of the dom/me to a doormat variety, I believe submission needs huge strength of character, perhaps even more so than does dominance. Louise
Life coaching especially, but not only, for submissives. Kinky Cottage Playrooms for hire, a great alternative to B+B. Kinky web site design, support and hosting offered on my own server space. | |
| 29 Jan 08, 7:16 PM switcheroo1 UK, 4 yrs  |
Well, superior and inferior are very imprecise words with broad definitions, but: I think that in D/s the *role* of the D is superior to the *role* of the s, but the people playing these *roles* are equals. Thus, the D is in command, but there is (or should be) always be a consensual level operating below this. Edited 30 Jan 08, 1:16 AM by switcheroo1 | |
| 5 Feb 08, 12:06 AM Nekkii UK(S), 6 yrs |
I think this is a really interesting topic and I keep being swung different ways by different people's posts on the subject - a sure sign I don't yet have a strongly defined view on it. :S Seeing a dominant as superior, and them making me feel inferior, are definitely =huge= turn ons for me, but I think they are perhaps more part of the 'fantasy' really. Because as many dominants have posted, if they really saw me as a total nobody doormat - that I may enjoy them making me feel like - then they can't really get so much out of dominating me. But despite calling it a fantasy, I am definitely also turned on by some very 'real' aspects of superiority, eg. many aspects of physical or mental superiority. But I think there is definitely a surface level & an underneath level to this. It's definitely quite contradictory though, and it's one of the key areas to me where my fantasies & turn-ons don't seem possible to mesh fully with the reality of most kinds of relationships, and so it confuses me a lot! :S | |
| 5 Feb 08, 7:46 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Similar ability to cope with life is a good way to put it. Same for me - he must as a dominant man exceed or match me on that. Parity is what I am after. SO I'm reasonably fit and not fat, earn quite a bit, nice family life, no mental or physical health issues, quite clever and well educated, lots of interesting hobbies, hopefully quite nice etc etc... and if you're going to cede a lot of power to someone to make decisions, if it's going to be a lot more than what colour your knickers are and what you do in bed, yes he has to match me. The impoverished sick depressed man who never had a family and cannot hold down a job would just not do. | |
| 6 Feb 08, 12:35 AM bodski UK(PR), 6 yrs |
OBC, et al I don't especially agree with this concept of overall equality. I feel superior to some people. Like moors murderer Ian Brady for example. I am better than a man who kills children for kicks. It is all about degrees. Peace. Bod. ~O | |
| 6 Feb 08, 12:37 AM mini_velvet UK(EH), 6 yrs |
PhD, MA or BSc? And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. |
