Pro's ~ How do you decide? (26)

It remains an interesting point for discussion that "attractive to do kink with" and "attractive to have sex with" are different categories. Ultimately I think Pro Dommes must be attractive to a client, if only in the first sense, in order to attract business. This may be very little to do with looks, but I see attraction on any level as equally valid.

I totally agree ~ as someone who has an older man fetish

Grizwald O'Connor The 93rd rocks my world

Yes! it is all about sex. The whip, the boots, CBT, facesitting, watersports, they all have a sexual undertone and I love all of them and much more. If I did not, I would not be doing this as a Pro Domme.

And as for Pro's don't do sex, it is like saying monks don't wank!

NB: Some monks don't wank and some Pro's don't offer sexual services...

Ms Tytania has answered very well (as always). For me, it's important that I get on with the domme both in and out of sessions so she could look like Lucy Liu but if we didn't connect then I wouldn't be interested. These days you can email/talk to the domme so you can get a good feel whether or not that compatability is there but you are never going to know for certain till you start the session. How ever much you research there is still an element of gut feeling in choosing to go to someone for the first time

In the pre internet days (yes they do exist) most of the time you were choosing from cards placed in a telephone box and a very brief conversation with the maid.

People don't seem to always think very logically when it comes to those questions. Age/physical appearance seems to play an important role for many, but experience is also important, particularly if one expects a high quality of service. What do you mean by 'less appealing'? A discerning client may refrain from 'taking what's going', just the same way one would rather wait to see a seasoned and competent professional instead of seeing a freshly graduated trainee in other domains.

just my 2 cents,

Shadow

It depends what you mean by "sex". I shouldn't think there are many, if any, Dommes that get fucked in scene- this is often interpreted (rightly or wrongly) as a submissive or at least irredeemably vanilla act. I think this would ruin the scene for most d/s clients, let alone being beyond our own limits. If you're talking about giving a hand job and/or recieving "intimate body worhip", aka oral sex, then I think you have a valid point. We each have our own limits and it is sad that some Dommes probably don't feel able to talk about the explicitly sexual parts of their job for fear of What People Might Think.

I myself have been in a situation where this past 12 months my previous regular mistress, which also became a good friend as well, moved back overseas.

I therefore had to review the situation, that previously was a nightmare 2-3 years beforehand. Things have not improved much, that I can say.

Therefore this is how I personally, as a submissive customer (which lets face it we all are) got to where I was today. Maybe this is something that will help mistresses tinker with business operations, from a submissive point of view.

Pretty much in the following order:

1) First of all geographic location (I set out in my mind a 50 mile limit), though i did have to increase this a little to get anywhere. Shame i don't live near London

2) Was the web site professional. Personal effort, creative and different or yet another "dom productions" template. I personally put the templates sites down the order.

3) Could I make first contact via email as phoning for me is not easy in my place of work. I can also go into my detail via email; and in private.

4) Take a look at the gallery or the web site pictures. Does she "do it for me" situation happen. As an earlier poster said, it is all about lust or that perfect girlfriend or movie experience. You know what I mean.

5) Does the mistress list or show being an expert or appears generally well versed in various skills? Personally for me it's rubber, bondage, bdsm etc but in a forced-fem situation (ie: submissive dom look). This seems to limit me somewhat.

6) The tribute cost. You can generally see a standard industry cost, but there are some who really take the biscuit. Yes they may appear amazing, but i'm seeing some at £250-£300 an hour appearing. That's not good value IMHO, and certainly from my point of view feels a little "in, out, rubs hands...NEXT!".

7) Once narrowed down, if and how they responded to a detailed personal email. This can actually be the most frustrating bit, but reveals IMHO alot about who someone is and where their interests sit.

I always take time composing each, respecting personal wishes, which takes a number of days. I then wait for replies, giving a good few days.

I won't name names (I notice some are IC regulars, so a bit unfair), but this is where lots fell down. No replies I can accept, though it would be nice to get a reply either way, even to say you don't think they would match up with the submissive interests.

Another group is 1 line/sentence replies pretty much ignoring what was said and asking you to call them on 50ppm 07 personal number. Mistresses generally state no 1 lines to them, should this not be a 2-way process? What's the point of a web site listing an email address if you prefer calls?

If they did reply, did they grasp what i was trying to explain? Did i get a reply that was light hearted and full of humour. Happily, those left over, do take the time to reply, tend to be best anyway.

For me, it returned about 5%-10% of my starting list once everything was filtered from the above, but I am sure if mistresses just a few hours were spent sorting some of the above steps out, the whole process for both parties would run much more smoothly.

I accept that some people will time waste, but setting the standard from the start i'm sure will reduce this.

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West Midlands based novice sub (bottom/switch) in need of experience and guidance