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IC : Weblogs : druidic : "Flicking The Switch"
Flicking The Switch (9)
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Posted by druidic on Tue 22 Jan 08, 1:24 PM
Various signs and symptoms took me to the docs a few months ago and the tests concluded that I was entering the menopause. My initial feelings about this were sadness although I really don't know why! I have had three children and most certainly do not want any more (although I am starting to experience broodiness for grandchildren!). I suppose menopause represents the end of an era, the taking away of choice. I love being full of baby and, perversely, I enjoy labour and childbirth – the thought of me never being able to experience this again made me quite low for a while.
But I digress.
Included in the various signs and symptoms was loss of libido which was definately not helped by the fact that I simply felt as if there was not a submissive particle in my body. Whilst I still had vaguely masochistic moments, I felt that I was unable to give, let go, submit. Because my submissiveness has been such a major part of me for as long as I can recall, this was difficult to cope with and I had began to feel that my very essence was disappearing.
I suppose I could have gone down the medically managed route and agreed to HRT but I really am not happy filling myself full of artificial hormones and much prefer to simply let nature take its course. But by the same token, I was not prepared to slip into a vanilla sex life, nor did I expect K to, and neither of us wanted to indulge outside our relationship.
So he suggested we switch for a while.
At first, I was not convinced that this was going to work. I mean, I always knew I was sadistic – it gives me a great deal of pleasure inflicting pain upon a consenting person. However I really was not so sure about the being in control bit and whether or not I could actually be arsed with it.
At the start, I think I entered into it with a submissive mindset though. I suspect that a lot of what I was doing had my subconscious telling me that this was what he wanted/expected. However, that way of thinking changed pretty quickly, and not because I forced it to - it simply did.
I surprised myself. Not only can I be arsed with it, but I now revel in it! The joy I feel in turning a perfectly lucid person into absolute putty in my hands is tremendous! The knowledge that I can take him to that certain submissive place that makes him lose every bit of himself, makes him simply want to die if I deem it, is such a rush! I have pushed his limits and boundries to the extreme with no reservations and he has been more than a willing participant in these expansions.
I don't know how long our situation will go on. I do not doubt for a single second that one day I will wake up and my submissive feelings will have returned. And I do not worry that we will be unable to switch back to our original relationship as K makes it very clear that the dominant him is simply in hibernation and not gone completely.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of is that I could not be any luckier in having K as my life partner, someone who is both willing and able to satisfy every need I have, mentally and physically, someone who can adapt to my ever changing seasons.
Opposite sides of the same coin? Absolutely 
Edited Tue 22 Jan 08, 4:24 PM by druidic
Replies
22 Jan 08, 1:42 PM
Miss_Tura
UK, 19 mths
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Just go with the flow and don't hold back.
Its great that you have a partner who understands what is going on with your body. Keep the communication open all the time.
Anything is better than taking those hormones believe me. I have recently stopped eating dairy products, milk, cheese, cream and that has stopped the hot flushes and the night sweats.
I realised my libido was waning and my ex said I was frigid. I realised that I was enjoying penetrative sex even less than I had done before. It occurred to me that if I looked back I had never enjoyed it with anyone full stop. At the age of 43 I discovered the best oral sex I had ever had and realised what it was all about.
I do now and then have penetrative sex just to keep my hand in, but for me oral sex will always keep me sane. Miss Tura
unNilla - you know you want to
Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. - Bette Davis
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22 Jan 08, 3:41 PM
suus_leana
3 yrs |
This is lovely to read. When in love and you understand each other completely there is always a way around what is in reality, a temporary situation (even if it lasts for a while, it won't be forever). Enjoy it while you both can. You know he'll get his own back when you slip back to submission again 
tope. x To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
Truth fears no questions.
Carpediem x
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23 Jan 08, 12:28 AM
amarya
UK, 5 yrs
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you can be a surrogate grandma come May...i will need all the help i can get
im toooo youngggggg
amarya xxx |
23 Jan 08, 9:48 PM
Dallas
UK, 5 yrs |
What a lovely blog. |
23 Jan 08, 11:07 PM
voodookid37
UK(DD), 3 yrs
 Y! |
nominated for an oscar....... www.voodoorestraints.co.uk
ASK ME ABOUT OUR NEW RUBBER CUFFS.........
" south side of sanity"
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25 Jan 08, 1:56 AM
Dallas
UK, 5 yrs |
Or a coscar |
26 Jan 08, 3:23 PM
druidic
UK(DD), 8 yrs
Y!
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I am so totally confused now!
FIFE & TAYSIDE MUNCH
"A genuine passion is like a mountain stream; it admits of no impediment; it cannot go backward; it must go forward."
- Christian Nestell Bovee
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26 Jan 08, 3:24 PM
druidic
UK(DD), 8 yrs
Y!
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oh wait.....no....I get the CoS bit! FIFE & TAYSIDE MUNCH
"A genuine passion is like a mountain stream; it admits of no impediment; it cannot go backward; it must go forward."
- Christian Nestell Bovee
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27 Jan 08, 12:20 AM
M_n_cheeky
UK, 2 yrs
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Still a yummy slut tho and will always be xxx
;o ))
Hope to see you both very soon |
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