What I think I want (a romantic ramble)... (5)

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Posted by poutanaki on Tue 22 Jan 08, 12:08 AM to poutanaki's blog.

I want a feeling that I belong to someone physically and mentally, to be consumed with lust and devotion and the desire to serve them. I'm a romantic and I want to be infatuated, giddy and swept away.

I always get very attached to my Dom/me. Too attached maybe.

I want to feel submissive and controlled.

In recent play dynamics, i've missed control outside the bedroom. I don't feel the need to be micro managed, but i've missed rules and regulations set by which I should live, I miss seeking permission, and the constant feeling of ownership and my place/purpose as a sub.

I miss the battle of wills, and the feeling at losing, and giving in to someone elses will.

I want to think about my owner often, to know they think about me often. To be cherished, loved, comforted, safe. Too feel secure. To feel proud when I please, or when I behave, or when I impress. To have a purpose. I want to serve, please, worship and obey.

To feel like a good girl, to be a little girl in my head, to act out, to push and find a wall. To know that there are repercussions for misbehaviour, to know that I won't always get my own way. For someone to see through me. To not get away with manipulation or playing games. To say no and be overuled. To be stripped bare.

I want to be used and hurt and fucked and held.

I want to know where my limits lie, how far I can go. I want to be pushed and strive to go further.

I want to get to a place where I belong completely, where I trust that person to do anything. Where I am someones slut, sub, whore, pet, little girl, slave, toy and prized possession.

Replies

22 Jan 08, 1:29 AM EvilNoodle UK, 6 yrs	I'm sure you will find that! But as the Guinness ad always tells me 'Good things come to those who wait!' For months we've waited on the edge of the void. Today we're moving Forward...
22 Jan 08, 11:48 AM BikerButch UK(ST), 6 yrs	after meeting you saturday briefly im positive you wont struggle to find a majority of whsat you want...... if you get it all.. its a bonus! x
24 Jan 08, 5:51 PM poutanaki UK(M), 10 yrs	I hope so. I really really hope so. The longer you spend looking the less possible it seems. Sigh Your so pretty when your on your knees. Disinfected, eager to please
30 Sep 08, 8:43 PM Stolen UK(CR), 5 yrs	thats so beautifully written. you should put it in your profile too rather than just linked to i think :]
29 Jan 12, 11:15 PM LittleBaldy UK(SE), 5 mths	Dont we all want this?