consensualist - something else entirely. (93)

It's plain good sense for campaigners to avoid divisive terms that turn off many of the people they're campaigning for.

In Fetish and BDSM's case, there only needs to be a slogan-friendly word if it has to be used in a slogan. If it's in explanations, then "people who do fetish" and "people who do BDSM" is sufficient.

For our own use, we seem to get by ok just with "people who do BDSM", BDSMers, bdsmists, etc, even though they're not suitable for slogans and pretty opaque to the outside world.

Regards,

Tanos

www.tanos.org.uk

Edited 15 Jan 08, 4:49 PM by Tanos

Well either pervert or paediatrician!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/901723.stm

There is a danger with the way this thread is going of allowing non-bdsm people to dictate what we call ourselves, and they are not always that informed as the above link will confirm.

Although I am still undecided on this issue, personally I have no problem referring to myself as a perve or my activities as pervery, but that is usually when in the company of other perves!

Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality (dear oscar)

Hardly, polite speaking up when I said vanilla friends think that a pervert is nasty and is into abusing victims was met by 'shut the fuck up' by someone (not you). I have told a friend I was a pervert and she replied "NO your'e NOT!".

I'm certainly kinky but don't think I have a fetish tbh.

Kink is an unthreatening word. Not my fault if it doesn't lend itself to a colour other than pink for a catchy slogan.

That's exactly how i feel, i don't feel as if i'm a fetishist and definitely never perverted.

Friendship may, and often does, grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship....Lord Byron

It,s my bubble ask before you pop it!

Where "pervert" condemns us outright to the same category as child abusers and murderers, "kinky" might seem relatively harmless as it just pokes fun at us.

But - isn't it comparable to the kind of humour that it used to be socially acceptable to use against Jews, black people, the Irish, etc, or any other minority that didn't or couldn't fight back and define itself in a positive way?

There might come a point when I'll feel alright being teased as kinky - by others who are like me, and when it's no longer used by vanillas as an acceptable sneering put-down of my sexuality.

The comment was about polite *silence*, not polite speaking up...

www.brightonfab.com www.fetiqueuk.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhKU-tmSQR8

So because some people shout a word in an aggressive fashion, your feelings are that this word should be shied away from..? From your posts on this thread, it suggests that confrontation is not your style.

Perhaps this is part of the difference in opinion on the matter perhaps?

Prof Tim

There are two distinct people who inhabit this body. I am my own evil twin . . .

Yes, the words "gay" and "nigger" were once used aggressively and have either been reclaimed or are in the process of being reclaimed. But neither of these words were ever associated with anything as vile as paedophilia.

Fetish seems to be out - as fetish has a specific meaning that many here don't associate themselves with.

Kinky seems to have the most support/least venom associated with it. It just doesn't lend itself easily to a description of a person (kinkster?).

But for Monday, given the amount of publicity and banners on websites, I suggest it more important to support the community than worry about the words right now.

Obligatory wanky Latin tagline: Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit