11 Jan 08, 7:57 PM
Melaina
4 yrs
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JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Melaina wrote:
JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Melaina wrote:
<snip>I have a child and can think of several words but pervert is not one of them.
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If you were looking for recommendations for a childminder, and someone said to you "I don't know any details, but I heard he's a pervert", would you be more or less likely to leave your child with him than if you hadn't been given that information?
judy
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I will answer that with a real life example, I used to be surrounded by christian neighbours one of whom left her son in the care of a fellow church member she didnt know very well. My son was playing in the communal garden with this babysitter, I noticed and called my son in to ask who this was. He answered "I dont know", my son was then instructed to stay within my sight and not go out of my sight with this person.
I personally do not give a flying fuck how a person identifies, they do not come near my son without me knowing and trusting them...be they christian, "pervert" or martian. That is just common sense, particularly as paedophiles do not wear warning signs.
And you may think that from the above example that I am paranoid and my son is restricted....he isnt, he can spot potential risky people online and reports them.
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Maybe I phrased it badly, but that doesn't answer my question.
judy
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Ok right sorry, I gave you a huge answer rather than be direct. My point was and is that if I dont know a person well enough to have a certain level of trust regarding my son...I dont let let them have unsupervised access to him.
I only let my family "babysit" (hes 15 and will kill me if he sees the word babysit lol).
But the only way I can answer your question is this way, I have a very close friend who both my son and I would be happy with him staying with. If someone said he was a pervert it would make no difference as I know him well and thats why I know I could trust him. I cant answer your question more specifally as I would only leave my son with a long term trusted aquaintance.
If I received information regarding any long term trusted aquaintance...such as "he/she is a pervert", it really wouldnt worry me as I already know that they are perverts in their own way. And they dont fancy my son.
edited as I cant spell specifically to save my life...spell check required urgently!!!!
Edited 11 Jan 08, 8:05 PM by Melaina
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11 Jan 08, 8:11 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK(E), 8 yrs |
Melaina wrote:
Ok right sorry, I gave you a huge answer rather than be direct. My point was and is that if I dont know a person well enough to have a certain level of trust regarding my son...I dont let let them have unsupervised access to him.
I only let my family "babysit" (hes 15 and will kill me if he sees the word babysit lol).
But the only way I can answer your question is this way, I have a very close friend who both my son and I would be happy with him staying with. If someone said he was a pervert it would make no difference as I know him well and thats why I know I could trust him. I cant answer your question more specically as I would only leave my son with a long term trusted aquaintance.
If I received information regarding any long term trusted aquaintance...such as "he/she is a pervert", it really wouldnt worry me as I already know that they are perverts in their own way. And they dont fancy my son.
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Thank you. As you say, you would only leave your child with a long-term acquaintance so you can't answer.
For anyone else: If you were looking for a child-minder, and you had a choice of two people who were almost identical in experience and references - but you'd heard from a source that one is a pervert - would you take the chance that they meant she/he enjoys consensual acts with an adult?
My thoughts, as stated earlier, are that I wouldn't take the chance. I wouldn't bother to try to find out what kind of 'pervert' they are. Not every child-molester has a criminal record, and there sometimes isn't anything other than gut-instinct and hints from others to go on.
I'm not really sure if this is taking the thread off-topic, but in my mind I *want* to be acknowledged as different from what I perceive to be a pervert. I also want *that* word to refer to *them*, so that I can differentiate between kinksters and...well, perverts!
Therefore I won't vote for claiming the word.
Edited to change the word 'reclaiming' to 'claiming'.
judy
Edited 11 Jan 08, 8:18 PM by JudyInDsGuise
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11 Jan 08, 8:24 PM
MissP
UK(EN), 8 yrs
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JudyInDsGuise wrote:
My thoughts, as stated earlier, are that I wouldn't take the chance. I wouldn't bother to try to find out what kind of 'pervert' they are. Not every child-molester has a criminal record, and there sometimes isn't anything other than gut-instinct and hints from others to go on.
I'm not really sure if this is taking the thread off-topic, but in my mind I *want* to be acknowledged as different from what I perceive to be a pervert. I also want *that* word to refer to *them*, so that I can differentiate between kinksters and...well, perverts!
Therefore I won't vote for claiming the word.
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Well and succinctly put, and I agree wholeheartedly. Even though I know you're just peeved it's purple, not pink 
Sponsor a pervert!
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11 Jan 08, 8:46 PM
Lucifer38
UK, 6 yrs
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Ill have to 4th this one as well Ladies
demolitionred wrote:
MissP wrote:
JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Therefore I won't vote for claiming the word.
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Well and succinctly put, and I agree wholeheartedly. Even though I know you're just peeved it's purple, not pink
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Me neither. I am fortunate in that my family are very open.
When my nephews asked me why I have a picture of myself dresssed as a policewoman pretending to kill another lady on my wall, I explained I -- as do they -- like dressing up.
They accepted that.
Later, when they ask me more I will -- as I have with everyone who has asked -- try to explain what I do in terms they can relate to, understand and sympathise.
Not ever will I abbreviate that to "I'm a pervert" -- a scary phrase that brings to mind images that have nothing to do with what I am in their uninformed mind.
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11 Jan 08, 9:08 PM
Manniq
UK(PE), 11 yrs
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JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Melaina wrote:
<snip>I have a child and can think of several words but pervert is not one of them.
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If you were looking for recommendations for a childminder, and someone said to you "I don't know any details, but I heard he's a pervert", would you be more or less likely to leave your child with him than if you hadn't been given that information?
judy
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I think that's called loading the bases.
A very artificial way to debate. You might as well ask "if you know nothing else about them except that they come from Nigeria" would you prefer them to someone from the UK?
You'll get a choice - but it would prove very little about anything.
Regards,
John
Interesting link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/objectification_in...
http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/art...
"I'm shocked - shocked to find that gambling is going on in here"
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11 Jan 08, 9:23 PM
Beau_Tox
UK(CB), 7 yrs
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JudyInDsGuise wrote:
urchin wrote:
neither, i would assume they just meant he was an adult with a kink..............if they meant there's a suspicion that this guy abuses children, i would expect them to say so
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Thank you. I wouldn't take the chance.
judy
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But you'd be happy if your daughter was being looked after by someone you were told was kinky then..? Or deviant? How about a fetishist childminder..? Prof
There are two distinct people who inhabit this body. I am my own evil twin . . .
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11 Jan 08, 9:29 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK(E), 8 yrs |
Professor_Tim wrote:
But you'd be happy if your daughter was being looked after by someone you were told was kinky then..? Or deviant? How about a fetishist childminder..? Prof
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I would be happy with kinky or fetishist, yes. Deviant has the same connotations as pervert for me.
judy
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11 Jan 08, 9:35 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK(E), 8 yrs |
Manniq wrote:
JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Melaina wrote:
<snip>I have a child and can think of several words but pervert is not one of them.
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If you were looking for recommendations for a childminder, and someone said to you "I don't know any details, but I heard he's a pervert", would you be more or less likely to leave your child with him than if you hadn't been given that information?
judy
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I think that's called loading the bases.
A very artificial way to debate. You might as well ask "if you know nothing else about them except that they come from Nigeria" would you prefer them to someone from the UK?
You'll get a choice - but it would prove very little about anything.
Regards,
John
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I asked specifically because of the quote from Melainia. If she hadn't used that phrase, the question wouldn't have been asked (by me). You might call that "loading the bases", I prefer to leave that to pizzeria.
The Nigeria Vs UK analogy would work only if the debate was "should we claim that the word Nigerian means 'born in the UK'".
judy
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11 Jan 08, 9:35 PM
Melaina
4 yrs
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JudyInDsGuise wrote:
Melaina wrote:
Ok right sorry, I gave you a huge answer rather than be direct. My point was and is that if I dont know a person well enough to have a certain level of trust regarding my son...I dont let let them have unsupervised access to him.
I only let my family "babysit" (hes 15 and will kill me if he sees the word babysit lol).
But the only way I can answer your question is this way, I have a very close friend who both my son and I would be happy with him staying with. If someone said he was a pervert it would make no difference as I know him well and thats why I know I could trust him. I cant answer your question more specically as I would only leave my son with a long term trusted aquaintance.
If I received information regarding any long term trusted aquaintance...such as "he/she is a pervert", it really wouldnt worry me as I already know that they are perverts in their own way. And they dont fancy my son.
|
Thank you. As you say, you would only leave your child with a long-term acquaintance so you can't answer.
For anyone else: If you were looking for a child-minder, and you had a choice of two people who were almost identical in experience and references - but you'd heard from a source that one is a pervert - would you take the chance that they meant she/he enjoys consensual acts with an adult?
My thoughts, as stated earlier, are that I wouldn't take the chance. I wouldn't bother to try to find out what kind of 'pervert' they are. Not every child-molester has a criminal record, and there sometimes isn't anything other than gut-instinct and hints from others to go on.
I'm not really sure if this is taking the thread off-topic, but in my mind I *want* to be acknowledged as different from what I perceive to be a pervert. I also want *that* word to refer to *them*, so that I can differentiate between kinksters and...well, perverts!
Therefore I won't vote for claiming the word.
Edited to change the word 'reclaiming' to 'claiming'.
judy
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Oi!!! dont tell me I cant answer... how bloody offensive.I can answer any question I choose and I gave two answers...and you have since changed and further clarified the question (to apparently suit your own ends).
We may disagree on this issue but that does not give you the right to tell me what I can and cant answer especially when you did not word your original question specifically enough.
And you have added much more "information" to feed your argument since your original question. I go out of my way to put my view across yet in a way that is not offensive...I recommend you try that.
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11 Jan 08, 9:38 PM
JudyInDsGuise
UK(E), 8 yrs |
Melaina wrote:
Oi!!! dont tell me I cant answer... how bloody offensive.I can answer any question I choose and I gave two answers...and you have since changed and further clarified the question (to apparently suit your own ends).
We may disagree on this issue but that does not give you the right to tell me what I can and cant answer especially when you did not word your original question specifically enough.
And you have added much more "information" to feed your argument since your original question. I go out of my way to put my view across yet in a way that is not offensive...I recommend you try that.
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Melaina wrote:
I cant answer your question more specically as I would only leave my son with a long term trusted aquaintance |
I repeated your posting, no offence intended.
judy
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