Forceful Words (14)

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PFLsAgain
Posted by PFLsAgain on Mon 7 Jan 08, 7:55 PM

This tragic tale of Freudian slips takes place in a pervy New Year's Eve party. Decadence and Debauchery to be precise. Allow me to set the scene. A neatly set out arrangement of tables on the dance floor has already been destroyed at the insistence of a large group of friends intending to sit together. The resulting mish-mash has left a couple of people with their backs to the stage, but they cope by craning their necks.

A quite entrancing display of wax play (and of willful brattiness too I might add) has captured the attention of the party and temporarily resulted in a delighted silence from my right. I should have made the most of it but I chose that moment to initiate a discussion about body glitter. You see I had admired the efforts of several lovely ladies in the art of glittering alluringly. One was sat next to me and kept distracting me. She claimed it wasn't on purpose but you know how subs are.

My previous attempts at powdering myself with glittery stuff had met with abject failure. I would carefully apply the glitter all over myself and when satisfied with the effect, whenever I stood up it would waft gently to the floor and I would end up in the middle of a sad little circle of failed make-up. This precipitated some hilarity. I really can't say why. In good scientific style I approached the problem systematically and determined that adhesion was required. Moisturiser proved effective and I was happy.

Not being a girly type and a complete novice with make-up it occurred to me that there was a secret to making the glitter stick and I just didn't know it. Curiosity got the better of me which is how I came to be relating this tale. I was informed that there is no secret and that it just sticks. Which left the question hanging in the air, why didn't it stick to me?

Foolishly I asked this out loud. Apparently the answer to that little conundrum is that I'm repulsive. Such was the considered opinion of my companion to the right. Alarmingly none of the larger group of friends leapt in to disagree.

One raised eye-brow and much hurried backtracking later and I'm informed that it was meant in a purely scientific manner. "You know, like static electricity only the other way around". A subtle way of telling me that I'm the polar opposite of every other human being on the planet perhaps?

So today I applied a few more sparkles of my own before we went to lunch. A different brand and one which sticks all on its own. It was a not too subtle sticking out of the tongue to my companion. Eventually she noticed and the subject of repulsion was once more raised. I was informed that repulsive was the wrong word (you don't say) and what she really meant was, err..., erm..., repellent.

Ah, that's better then.

The trouble with forceful words is that they tend to follow Newtonian laws of motion. I think the third law is likely to be invoked unless any kind soul out there can come up with the mot juste so desperately sought by my literary companion.

Replies

7 Jan 08, 8:13 PM
electricfog
UK, 4 yrs
What you need is a 'Glitter Bug' from Lush. Comes in a sort of bar, and, as we say in the north east, it clags like shite to a blanket.

7 Jan 08, 8:17 PM
PFLsAgain
UK, 3 yrs

electricfog wrote:
What you need is a 'Glitter Bug' from Lush. Comes in a sort of bar, and, as we say in the north east, it clags like shite to a blanket.
Ah, thanks for that. I'll hunt it out. Meanwhile if you're ever thinking of using Molton Brown's glittery stuff my recommendation is don't; unless you like your floor sparkly!
"I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West)

7 Jan 08, 8:20 PM
electricfog
UK, 4 yrs
I'm a total sparkle-slut - if it shines or glows in the dark, I love it.
Can thoroughly recommend 'Glitter Bug', and a lot of the 'Stargazer' stuff is pretty good, too. Only GB, though, as far as I know, sticks like it's been superglued to you - you can have a totally wild night and still have a glittery shower the next morning.

7 Jan 08, 8:23 PM
DevilRob
UK, 3 yrs

PFLsAgain wrote:
The trouble with forceful words is that they tend to follow Newtonian laws of motion. I think the third law is likely to be invoked unless any kind soul out there can come up with the mot juste so desperately sought by my literary companion.
Could it be that you're 'depolarized'?
And the third law of motion, isn't that the one that says " Any officer attempting oral sex in zero gravity will be subject to court martial?"
Or is that the third law of the Jupiter Deep Space Mining Core?

'Fast is fine but accuracy is forever'~Wyatt Earp
Impulsion Yahoo Group

7 Jan 08, 8:38 PM
PFLsAgain
UK, 3 yrs

DevilRob wrote:
Could it be that you're 'depolarized'?
Alas no, depolarisation implies the removal of charge differentials whereas said miscreant was trying to imply that I'd acquired an opposite charge. (Interestingly depolarisation is the most likely explanation for my failure of attraction, but that wasn't what she was trying to mutter. How I came to be depolarised is quite another thing and we probably shouldn't examine it too closely here.)
I have to say that I'm rather surprised Mr. DevilRob to see you trying to rescue a subbie from her just deserts. A person might wonder if you were going fluffy. Not this person you understand, but a disinterested bystander perhaps.

Or is that the third law of the Jupiter Deep Space Mining Core?
Worryingly I think we have viewing habits in common. I think you missed the smoked kipper though.
"I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West)

7 Jan 08, 9:25 PM
DevilRob
UK, 3 yrs

PFLsAgain wrote:
I have to say that I'm rather surprised Mr. DevilRob to see you trying to rescue a subbie from her just deserts. A person might wonder if you were going fluffy. Not this person you understand, but a disinterested bystander perhaps.
Tish and piffle m'dear, I'm simply creating a false sense of hope that can be cruelly dashed at the last second.

PFLsAgain wrote:
I think you missed the smoked kipper though.
Alas you may be right, dawny has been dispatched to get one from the all night Tesco.
-signing off with a full Double Rimmer-

'Fast is fine but accuracy is forever'~Wyatt Earp
Impulsion Yahoo Group

7 Jan 08, 9:30 PM
PFLsAgain
UK, 3 yrs

DevilRob wrote:
Tish and piffle m'dear, I'm simply creating a false sense of hope that can be cruelly dashed at the last second.
I'm mightily relieved. My faith is restored. I return your full Double Rimmer with gusto!
"I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West)

7 Jan 08, 9:47 PM
suzee
5 yrs Opposites attract apparently, as well as repel. It might be that your friend on the right picked up all the reject glitter as she moved through the space you had previously occupied during the course of the evening, hence a poached sparkle. Mind you, you both looked stunning.
As for the lack of 'leaping to your defence' I was still amazed and shocked that I had actually poured wax on someone! Not only that, I didn't ask him if it hurt. I am so proud of meself. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have leapt to your defence is someone was threatening you with something detremental!
Little things an all that! Hugs xxxxx
If you know it in your heart, and feel it in your soul, then it is but a matter of time before you live it ..........

7 Jan 08, 9:57 PM
PFLsAgain
UK, 3 yrs

suzee wrote:
It might be that your friend on the right picked up all the reject glitter as she moved through the space you had previously occupied during the course of the evening, hence a poached sparkle.
She nicked my sparkle! That could well be the answer Not that she would need to, she looks beautiful effortlessly.

As for the lack of 'leaping to your defence' I was still amazed and shocked that I had actually poured wax on someone! Not only that, I didn't ask him if it hurt. I am so proud of meself.
Indeed, it was quite something. And there was so much wax. I daresay he won't forget you in a while Most impressive!
"I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West)

7 Jan 08, 10:46 PM
suzee
5 yrs Mind you when I got home I discovered it was much much more fun playing with chocolate fondu, knives, rope and lots and lots of time!
If you know it in your heart, and feel it in your soul, then it is but a matter of time before you live it ..........

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