The Relevance of Chasity Devices (31)

I think that's a really important point.

Chastity, like anything else that can potentially have the same kind of mental effect, can only really work to 'deepen' things if things are there already. Unless someone was submissive, and/or had an interest in exploring chastity stuff in some way I could just imagine them ending up anywhere between pissed off and miserable.

Also, I don't think that just being submissive is enough by itself. It might be a staggeringly obvious thing to say, but I think the right vibe for it has to be there with the person you're sharing it with too... My experience is that it's certainly not something that's the same with everyone by any means. Maybe it's different if the kink of it is more important than the power exchange parts though.

Phoenix

When a man loves a woman it should be understood,
He would jump into fire if she thought he should.
***Masters Of Reality - Voice And The Vision***

The truth of it is, for me is your respecting the person you give it too, almost by saying i am yours to do with as you please, my pleasure is your pleasure, i will forsake myself and submit, to your control.

As with all men we are programed to bred with as many women as we can, to be with just one women, and to give it all to her with out seaching for "normal" rewards. i hope this kinda make sence?

that's a really lovely way to describe it.

I don't masturbate often unless told to,i never really got the urge ..... i get bored if i have to do it for more than a couple of minutes, if i haven't orgasmed by then it wears off and i have no chance........ i have the same problem during sex, i can get just to that point, just before you go over the edge, then it vanishes......... i have always had this problem, and no its not cos i don't want to have sex, just that i find it very hard to orgasm especially when someone else is there ............ but since being on happy pills, this has got loads worse so that even masturbation is pretty pointless as i know it's not going to happen

so to chastity.... hopefully in the next week or so (at long last) i will get my labia and clit hood piercings, to which i have asked DM to attach a padlock ......... the idea for me behind this, is keeping it locked up for him to open as and when, and if, he wants to.

but also hopefully it may restore some of the feelings which are lacking, the stimulation of the clit piercing allowing my arousal without spending hours at it, and the fact that i can't get to it even if i'm aroused, might have an added mental effect.........maybe it won't work ......... i know some women have said that after a while their urges wear off, but hopefully with the VCH it might just let me go over the edge.....im sure this can only deepen the feelings i have for him, allowing me to feel like he is more in control,and to actually manage to orgasm when he wants me to.......... rather than the fact that i just can't be bothered to masturbate .....

if He ever takes the padlock off that is

Lynda xx

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why do dogs sniff other dog's bottoms to say hello, why don't they just bark in their face or something?
How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?

Most women I have known very closely are able to bring themselve to orgasm, or be brought to that state by purely emotional/mental stimulation. Sometimes it has to be aided by attention to the breasts or other erogenous zones. For them a chastity belt or device does nothing at all to deny orgasm. So it is a purely 'patriarchal' thing. It means only the keyholder can make them pregnant. Significant, important, but not really sexual, more about 'property rights'. All about old-fashioned ownership of procreation.

I can imagine that if I were a 'modern women', if somebody tried to impose that on me, I'd be really pissed off.

On the other hand if I had been brought up in a fundamentalist and misogynist religion, from Catholic to Whahabi Islam, it may well strike a chord and be very welcome.

But on the other side of the gender divide most men I have asked, (I have not 'known' any 'real' men in a biblical sense, though I have played with TVs), require direct stimulation of their cocks to come to orgasm, so chastity devices stop them coming. A downer if you're a young man and getting your rocks off is what really drives you.

IMHO some men want to give that kind of power and control away; for them being 'forced' (usually more 'voluntarily choosing to not object enough') is helpful; they no longer need to strive in the same way, they find it easy to accept a role as a 'sissy', 'passive TV' or 'eunuch'.

For other men, they can be 'forced' to accept it, but it sets up pressures that will destroy any and every relationship they have with anybody involved in the process; it is like trying to dam water, the higher you build the barrier, the more pressure it builds up.

The difficult thing is identify who is which and when; because the same man may be one or the other at different times in their life or with different playmates.

So, like everything else, the answer is to this question, as posed by the OP is probably, "depends ..."

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Denial is one thing and often immensely enjoyable and satisfying (for a limited period!) - chastity i dont think i could endure. i would go bonkers!

As the others have ably said, it's the concept and the willingness to obey that has to exist before a physical device can even have any effect, and it's the concept - and the sub's obedience to it - that is always going to be far more important than any piece of metal or plastic.

You can ultimately get round pretty much all of them somehow. As Mistress Susannah has said, the mental aspects are by far the most powerful and it doesn't just have to be chastity (i.e. denial) either. Losing control of when and how you come can deepen submission every bit as powerfully as not being able to at all.

That said, if this aspect of control is part of the relationship, a device can accentuate/deepen some feelings. There is nothing quite like seeing something that was, until recently, totally part of you, totally yours to do with and enjoy as you wished, literally under lock and key, under someone else's complete control. Knowing that you cannot even touch it without another's permission, and knowing also, as alispen said, that you have willingly given this control to someone you trust and want to please, is pretty mindblowing all in itself.

There are also practical effects of wearing a device. It might change the way you walk, it might make you need to sit, instead of stand, to pee. It might subtly (or otherwise) affect all sorts of aspects of your daily routine you wouldn't immediately think of, and all those things certainly can combine to remind and reinforce feelings of submission (altho with some people I guess the effects could be irksome to the point of reducing it!). Whether it can create a "submissive effect" on its own, however, to each their own I guess.

Personally i love the thought of handing control over to my Female partner (once found that is of course but i do not feel a chastity device is essential. If told not to masturbate i wouldnt, and i would love not knowing when or how my next orgasm was coming from. It also frees me up to really concentrate on my partner. Men tend to view sex and most things leading up to sex as the means to an orgasm, the orgasm being the goal. If you take that thought away and realise you may not get an orgasm even if you make love that night then it really focuses your mind to make sure you soak up the pleasure your partner is having instead.

Dont know if i explained it too well as didnt want to go on for too long! So in closing, every couple are different, but most Female led relationships would have some kind of orgasm control / tease and denial attached to them but it doesnt have to involved chastity devices for it to be achieved!

"insert witty comment here, i cant think of one"

Edited 5 Jan 08, 9:51 AM by subrugbylad

Ah well, I should have known I wouldn't fit the 'norm'! I can only come through direct clitoral stimulation, and even that has to be dome right. Are there really loads of women out there who can come even without touch? I've known and 'known' (in the biblical sense!) a lot of women and only heard of it very occassionally.

Loving the idea that my Mistress could just get a key to make me pregnant. It would save me thousands of pounds!!

I'm a thoroughly modern woman (complete with 2 degrees in women's studies don'tcha know ) and chastity has always been one of my favourite fantasies and BDSM practices. It certainly isn't about gender or procreation, it's about knowing that I'm controlled and the arousal and satisfaction and security that brings.

Raised and remain an athiest, but it certainly has never dulled my passion for chastity devices (as yet, still an unfulfilled fantasy) or mentally imposed restrictions which I have a lot more experience with.

As for how important chastity is to submission, that will depend on each individual involved. For my Mistress and myself it is very important and has actually been there since before the beginning! We agreed to her putting me under asbstention orders a few days before we played for the first time as a kind of foreplay. Since then I don't think I have ever been without some kind of a restriction or under specific orders. I wasn't chaste, as we were quite sexually active in the early days, however, I wasn't allowed to masturbate and my Mistress didn't let me come for 3 months!

I'm now mostly under complete abstention orders (no sexual touching at all) apart from on rare occasions when my Mistress is feeling playful and gives me specific orders relating to masturbation, which usually allow for a possibility of orgasm framed in a way which would be difficult to achieve.

I find being under these orders a helpful and 'enjoyable' way of staying in touch with my ongoing submission, especially as our day to day lives allow for very little direct expression of it. If I ever, for a fleeting moment, think I might like to touch myself, I have to remember I am owned property and under orders. Or occasionally I forget for a brief moment and suffer the consequences.

Ohhhh perhaps we will make a chastity device part of your ownership pinkylucy

actually it's my opinion that long term chastity is far simpler with a biofemale than a biomale as females don't have the health considerations one must take into account when working with males and long term abstention. so we can make them wait as long as we like...

I love working with abstention, denial and orgasm control.

Roses are red, bruises are blue, masochists are sweet, and I love you.

Edited 5 Jan 08, 5:21 PM by Degenerate