New Years Resolutions - broken already? (0)

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The_Counsellor
Posted by The_Counsellor on Thu 3 Jan 08, 2:01 PM

Have you made some new years resolutions? Are you already struggling to keep them? Every year lots of people make new years resolutions and then have the experience of failing in them and giving up. This is discouraging and bad for your morale and self esteem. Would you like to know why its so hard sometimes? Would you like to be able to change your habits successfully? Making successful change helps us believe in our own power. Once you have made one change you can make more if you wish.

New Years resolutions, made in the traditional way of deciding to give something up or change a habit are hard, because only your conscious mind is engaged with them. That means they only work when you are thinking about it. Since about 90% of our behaviour happens according to unconscious programmed habits, it's very hard to change an old behaviour into a new by using a conscious only method. How often have you found yourself unconcsiously doing something you are trying to stop?

Secondly many new years resolutions are of the giving something up type. This is working on the problem, rather than the outcome, and doesn't really engage you because humans are mostly teleological i.e. goal focused. We work towards something we want. Thinking about what we don't want tends to make us want it! If you want to give something up ask yourself why? What will I gain from it? Only when you can tell yourself what you want instead will you have an outcome that might help. What do you really want?

So you might like to try these ideas :

Plan your change in advance of the start date. Start a month before the intended date of change
Work our what you want rather than what you don't want. Then ask your self "and what will that give me?" and when you have answered that ask again "and what will that give me?" Until you see how this change fits in with your whole life.
Imagine your new habit and self in 3D ie with sound, colour, movement, and feelings, as exciting and desirable. Do the imagining at least twice a day for a month before you start. This will engage your subconscious.
Get the infrastructure to support your change in place
Remove the infrastructure that supports the old habit
Plan to start at a time when you will be calm and relaxed, stress tends to cause us to revert to habit
If you have a relapse don't give up. Just resume practising your new habit again.
Engage friends and family in helping and encouraging, if they can do it without bullying or taking over.
Remind yourself of your goal every day twice a day
A habit takes 4 to 6 weeks to change, so keep your focus

When have you made a change successfully and made it stick? What have you found really works for you?

Edited Thu 3 Jan 08, 3:12 PM by The_Counsellor


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