Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom? (93)

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31 Dec 08, 4:25 PM
kaison
UK(HA), 19 mths

I have italian/irish blood I'll fight to the death if it's something I'm passionate about.

31 Dec 08, 4:43 PM
perseus3000
UK(CH), 21 mths
I tell her she's a bitch. I suffer so sweetly for that
above all else compassion

31 Dec 08, 6:11 PM
myface_yourseat
UK(WF), 9 yrs
Y!

Masters_Delight wrote:
Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom?
What i mean is, when your with your Dom/me and your having an argument do you back down because your the sub or do you argue your point? I dont mean argue in a D/s sense, i mean an everyday niggle /argument that is nothing to do with the D/s dynamic. Does the fact that your a sub deter you from arguing?
Edited to add the word dynamic and change the title coz the first one didnt put across what i meant properly.x
Simply do not argue. Instead respectfully ask permission to express my comment and, if permission is granted, offer my views politely and with respect. However, if my owner demands my silence then i would shut up immediately.

31 Dec 08, 10:26 PM
George_Michael
UK(NR), 3 yrs

Relationships are as unique as people. I would always have to give my opinion but the D/s dynamic would mean I would give more thought to opening my mouth..
Whatever you do, don't press the red button...

31 Dec 08, 10:31 PM
totallycoverme
UK(M), 2 yrs
i prefer to negotiate than argue although i would love to find a Dom who i trusted enough to give the last word and final say to...that would be true testament to how much i trusted someone and how deep my submission was

1 Jan 09, 12:39 AM
fen_fatale
UK(CB), 5 yrs Depends on the Dom, if i fully respect them, then i will start to debate it, but if i am not getting anywhere then i quickly back down. If i know a Dom is wrong, then i guess i view it that i am going to humiliate him if i set out to prove this, and that wouldn't be right. So if he doesn't want to hear it on a first debate, then i just drop it. I think its the same with most people though.. if they are closed minded there is no point in discussing something or trying to show them right and wrong.
nuqDaq yuch Dapol?

1 Jan 09, 10:18 AM
Ms_Valentine
UK, 23 mths

Chastiser wrote:

Masters_Delight wrote:
Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom?
What i mean is, when your with your Dom/me and your having an argument do you back down because your the sub or do you argue your point? I dont mean argue in a D/s sense, i mean an everyday niggle /argument that is nothing to do with the D/s dynamic. Does the fact that your a sub deter you from arguing?
Edited to add the word dynamic and change the title coz the first one didnt put across what i meant properly.x
there are no arguements.
Mike

I tend to agree with Mike.
In my house, it is understood that we do not argue. If we have any kind of conflict then we try to be calm and talk about the issue. Paul, my sub works hard to align himself to my preferred ways of doing things and this means we are at least on the right track and know what the shared goal is.
My sub knows he must not talk back, be rude, pick fights or be snide and so generally we are niggle-free.
Sometimes, I can be snappy but if I behave inappropriately I apologise as it is unhelpful for me to lose my composure.I do not see it as un-dommely to apologise to my sub. It makes him aware I respect him and our relationship.I try my hardest but I am not perfect... just a Domme
Paul does have to bite his tongue sometimes and moderate how he speaks if he is a bit aggravated. This is because he knows what his role is and his duties to me are. He also knows that unlike with me, an apology will not be the end of the matter if he loses his temper. He is also likely to be punished. That fact reveals the difference in our roles and and exemplifies the power imbalance.
Controversial views of Ms_Valentine. No 1. Slaves submit no more deeply than subs can do. No 2. Terms such as a 'sub' or a 'slave' describe a state of being, not a level of submission, importance or place in a hierarchy. 3. Submission?.. no limits necessary.

1 Jan 09, 2:28 PM
simjo_29
16 mths I will happily express my views on any subject. But when it's required in a confrontational situation like an argument, I often find myself backing down in order to keep the peace. However there are a few certain topics that I will always stand up and be counted for regardless of the circumstances. Although I imagine that it can be difficult in a 24/7 relationship.
I enjoyed reading about the link between D/s and politics. It strikes me as being very easy to keep politics out of the bedroom, but very difficult to keep it out of many other aspects of the relationship.

1 Jan 09, 3:09 PM
MMs_lavenderblossom
6 yrs
I wouldn't say we really "argue" as such, though we do have disagreements which is pretty much human nature. If a submissive never offered a point of view or stood up for things that are important to them then the communication side of the relationship is failing. If there are niggles they need to be talked about and straightened out in my opinion.
I do have a different attitude with Him than other people or past partners and I think the main reason for that is that I respect him more. I will put my point across which is sometimes hard because any kind of disagreeemnt upsets me really badly and I hate it.
One of the first things we discussed when we got together was that I hated arguments and did not want a relationship like that again. He knows he can stop me easily in my tracks with a firm word but that really only happens if I am spiralling out of control and getting nowhere. Often if I am just feeling hormonal or cross a strong hug can calm me instantly.
In short, I think it is less about having the disagreement but more about how you put it across and deal with it that matters.

Vanilla sex is like a 99 ice cream - without the flake (me)
"Was that you cumming or is your back playing up again?"..Moflb!
"Between tomorrow and today there is a bridge across forever" (Morse)
"One Love, in many colours, all beautiful to see".. (Moflb)

1 Jan 09, 3:36 PM
BadWulf
UK(TA), 4 yrs
Y!
Since historically I have conditioned mine to orgasm on command, a click of the fingers usually works wonders if they are getting stroppy!
They find it Hard to maintain huff, whilst becoming a mewling puddle on the floor I have found
- John
My, what sharp teeth I have.
Edited 1 Jan 09, 5:16 PM by BadWulf

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