Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom? (93)

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22 Dec 07, 10:32 PM
slaveish
UK(NE), 7 yrs Master and i dont tend to argue about every day type of things tho we will certainly debate an issue and i will stick up for what i believe in...otherwise it would make me into some kind of robot....wouldnt it ?
Where my Master goes, i will follow, tho we will do so hand in hand.

22 Dec 07, 10:47 PM
gothic_kisses
UK(KY), 5 yrs

If i know im 100% right then nope
Angel
I had my wings spread and was soarin hight ....TILL..... some cunt shot me down !!
To be yerself is to be happy on the inside and out

22 Dec 07, 11:25 PM
ladylash
UK(WD), 5 yrs
oh I argue with him all the time, he loves it
ETA Im not his sub Im his slut
Club 337 ~ My 21st birthday *cough* Lovetrix 3rd birthday & Natswtich's 40th birthday sat feb 9th ~ www.club337.moonfruit.com
www.lovetrix.net ~ www.watfordmunch.co.uk

25 Dec 07, 12:18 AM
JonSchwarz
UK, 2 yrs
Masters_Delight wrote:
Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom?
What i mean is, when your with your Dom/me and your having an argument do you back down because your the sub or do you argue your point? I dont mean argue in a D/s sense, i mean an everyday niggle /argument that is nothing to do with the D/s dynamic. Does the fact that your a sub deter you from arguing?

Answering from a dom perspective, I'd be very uncomfortable with a relationship where the D/s dynamic made it impossible for me to be argued with, or where my partner felt she couldn't argue because it would 'get her in trouble'. I guess that works for people with more of a lifestyle commitment to D/s. For me it belongs firmly in the bedroom. Obviously that's a simplification but basically no, I don't think the D/s dynamic affects the argument dynamic.
I have been in situations where it did and I didn't like it.

25 Dec 07, 3:44 PM
ClassAct2005
UK, 5 yrs

JonSchwarz wrote:
Answering from a dom perspective, I'd be very uncomfortable with a relationship where the D/s dynamic made it impossible for me to be argued with, or where my partner felt she couldn't argue because it would 'get her in trouble'. I guess that works for people with more of a lifestyle commitment to D/s. For me it belongs firmly in the bedroom. Obviously that's a simplification but basically no, I don't think the D/s dynamic affects the argument dynamic.
I have been in situations where it did and I didn't like it.
Depends what you mean by argue. I have lots to say and lots of views which perhaps some men don't like but I think most do. On the other hand if you are in more of a general DS relationship (perhaps the lifestyle commitment you mention above or anything that is more than just dominance in bed) then yes it does affect how you relate to each other in lots of areas. I hate arguments. If there are any then there's something very badly wrong. But if it's just expressing a different view then yes I would always hope I were in a relationship where we could agree to differ on some things.

26 Dec 07, 1:08 AM
stellamarie
2 yrs
ladylash wrote:
oh I argue with him all the time, he loves it
ETA Im not his sub Im his slut
ROFL.. hmm i'm saying nothing...

26 Dec 07, 1:26 AM
who_is_the_wolf
UK(CT), 2 yrs
Y! It depends, as a Dom I will stand my ground.
Dose not mean I am always correct, nor dose it mean I will not listen to the other side of an argument. At the end of it I might still stick to what I believe or having listened change my mind.
Point is respect is not thinking you are always right.
Ice wolf
Devour the heart before tearing at skin; this Wolf is hungry!

27 Dec 07, 11:25 AM
ladybabe2
UK(SK), 4 yrs
If l believe that something is wrong l will stand my ground. If l compromise my belief's then it lessens me in my eyes, and if l am making a point and he started the Dom thing then it would make me even more determined to be heard, as when something is important it has to be discussed on a even playing field not with me "obeying" him.
But if l am just having a whinge, or being brattish then yes obeying to end the mood is wonderful... a tanned arse and then being shown whos boss, mmmm works a treat....
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly....

27 Dec 07, 11:54 AM
SisterFlaminghair
US, 3 yrs
who_is_the_wolf wrote:
<snip> It depends, as a Dom I will stand my ground. <snip>
<snip> Point is respect is not thinking you are always right. <snip>
I'm a little confused as these two statements seem to be somewhat in contradiction. Do you mean that, if you have respect for your submissive partner, you can let go of the need to be right all of the time? Or do you mean that being dominant in the relationship means you should not back down or concede her point of view may have merit?

27 Dec 07, 1:08 PM
Masters_Delight
UK(WD), 2 yrs

a_muse wrote:
if you are not in the D/s mode, why would you act as a submissive ?
For me, being a submissive is about being one as a whole, not acting as one just at a particular time. So even though we arnt doing a 'scene' (for want of a better word) it doesnt mean that i stop being submissive to him. My question stems from wanting to know how others handle themselves when they dissagree or argue about something that isnt about D/s. You can dissagree about none D/s stuff but it doesnt take away the fact that he or she is the Dom/me and you are the sub.
Submission isnt a gift...
..Its like respect, you have to earn it.

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