Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom? (93)

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20 Dec 07, 10:12 PM
Masters_Delight
UK(WD), 2 yrs

Thanx everyone for your replies. Its a question iv been wondering about for a bit now. Wondering if the D/s dynamic has any effect on different aspects of everyday life.x Thanx again.x
Submission isnt a gift...
..Its like respect, you have to earn it.

20 Dec 07, 11:42 PM
Kitti_Whitaker
3 yrs
I find subs are pretty strong and argumentative with a lot of emotional stamina when needed so they are definitely not the so called weaker party in my experience.
quote=Masters_Delight] Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom?
What i mean is, when your with your Dom/me and your having an argument do you back down because your the sub or do you argue your point? I dont mean argue in a D/s sense, i mean an everyday niggle /argument that is nothing to do with the D/s dynamic. Does the fact that your a sub deter you from arguing?
Edited to add the word dynamic and change the title coz the first one didnt put across what i meant properly.x [/quote]

20 Dec 07, 11:48 PM
x_flaire_x
UK(OX), 8 yrs
Just don't call him a cocksucker...it doesn't go down very well. Trust me.
We do argue..less than I have with any other partner. It might have something to do with him being my Master...or simply we just get on a lot better.
f x
Cookie Monster In Bondage!
Any posts made between the hours of 2am and 6am are the product of a drink-addled, sleep-deprived mind and hence don't count. Thank you.

20 Dec 07, 11:49 PM
x_flaire_x
UK(OX), 8 yrs
I should also add that when we do argue, we do tend to end up fucking.

f x
Cookie Monster In Bondage!
Any posts made between the hours of 2am and 6am are the product of a drink-addled, sleep-deprived mind and hence don't count. Thank you.

21 Dec 07, 12:11 AM
tartfuldodger
2 yrs
We don't really have a 'none D/s every day life', being full time, even when not adhering to particularly kinky protocol.
Nevertheless there are always points when disagreements will crop up in a relationship and I'm a person in my own right.
We have a mother/boy sort of dynamic, and that generally gets incorporated into everything, including arguing. I'd say that I generally quibble in a childlike way....by which I mean not neccesarily immaturely but with with a certain degree of reverence and acceptance of ultimate authority. Even when I'm convinced I'm right I'll usually go with what my mistress decides... after I've argued the case as far as I'm able. And if it turns out that I am right....
you're bound to hear a little voice piping up from the back 'I tooooold you so, mamabear!' :D
"A gentleman can be forgiven almost any indiscretion... provided he remains polite to his mother, of course..."
Edited 21 Dec 07, 12:12 AM by tartfuldodger

21 Dec 07, 2:45 AM
Romola
UK, 5 yrs

I'm not an argumentative person, I think there's nearly always another way. If something was important enough to argue about, the D/s dynamic wouldn't affect what I said or how I expressed it.
A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever.

21 Dec 07, 10:21 AM
scribbles
UK(RH), 2 yrs

Masters_Delight wrote:
Subs - Does being a sub change how you argue with your dom?
What i mean is, when your with your Dom/me and your having an argument do you back down because your the sub or do you argue your point? I dont mean argue in a D/s sense, i mean an everyday niggle /argument that is nothing to do with the D/s dynamic. Does the fact that your a sub deter you from arguing?
Edited to add the word dynamic and change the title coz the first one didnt put across what i meant properly.x
Well I'm only a sub in terms of vaguely fitting into that camp, rather than having any experience of it, but your post interests me very much.
I think "back down" is an emotive way of putting it. I can imagine listening a bit more, interrupting a bit less, and thinking a bit harder than otherwise. I can imagine keeping very carefully in mind that this is the view of someone I usually defer to through considered choice. I would fight hard to reach understanding of how what they say is right.
Being a sub might deter me from nagging and bickering over a minor point, ie raising it in the first place, but I think it's important to present a clear and limpid picture of one's state of mind - dominance does not mean mind-reading - and if there's tension, even if the cause is trivial, it's probably better expressed.
One of the things I want to learn more about is argument, but in a positive and constructive way.
Edited 21 Dec 07, 10:33 AM by scribbles

21 Dec 07, 10:58 AM
FetishJess
UK(BN), 3 yrs

I knew my last relationship was in trouble when I stopped caring enough to argue with him.
Saying that, in the current one, that is probably ending at the moment, I haven't argued with him at all. I think it's all about feeling secure. With the ex I was secure enough in my relationship to fight and this one, I'm not.
It doesn't matter if I am a sub or not. If I am right, I am right or if it's my opinion, it's still my opinion even if he doesn't like it.
www.brightonfab.com www.fetiqueuk.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhKU-tmSQR8

21 Dec 07, 10:59 AM
Masters_Delight
UK(WD), 2 yrs

Romola wrote:
If something was important enough to argue about, the D/s dynamic wouldn't affect what I said or how I expressed it.

Oooooo, i like that.x
Submission isnt a gift...
..Its like respect, you have to earn it.

21 Dec 07, 11:12 AM
Little_Miss_Shy
UK(PO), 2 yrs

choozy wrote:
Hell no,
I never argue unles I'm 100% sure I'm right. But when I am, I'll fight to the death for what I beleive in.
Choozy. x
Yup, me too but I might pay for it later

* Honesty is the best policy *

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