Something to make you smile... (10)
yoda_dog's profile
Posted by yoda_dog
on Thu 13 Dec 07, 9:45 PM to yoda_dog's blog.
Everytime I read this, it makes me smile...so cheer up people!
Bad day at work???
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ar*e.
Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Replies
13 Dec 07, 9:52 PM
Forsaken1
UK, 7 yrs
 |
PMSL, I still think the climbing through the window story is better though!  "what ever happens, DON'T scream" Quote from Dead Silence.
Knight shots photography a moment of embarrassment, for a lifetime of memory's
|
13 Dec 07, 9:56 PM
yoda_dog
UK(HP), 6 yrs
|
Forsaken1 wrote:
PMSL, I still think the climbing through the window story is better though!
|
Oi! I'm still feeling bad about that...though it doesn't help that he takes the piss out of it at any given opportunity...and you're not helping either! 
And we're still waiting for you to drop in for a brew!!!!
Anhoo, hows things? 
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell thinks I'll take over"
"Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
|
13 Dec 07, 10:00 PM
Forsaken1
UK, 7 yrs
|
yoda_dog wrote:
Oi! I'm still feeling bad about that...though it doesn't help that he takes the piss out of it at any given opportunity...and you're not helping either!
|
well come on, I mean it IS bloody funny!!!!
yoda_dog wrote:
And we're still waiting for you to drop in for a brew!!!!
|
I will be there in the new year and thats a promise, not gunna say when mind
Fan-bloody-tastic 
"what ever happens, DON'T scream" Quote from Dead Silence.
Knight shots photography a moment of embarrassment, for a lifetime of memory's
|
13 Dec 07, 10:12 PM
whosthatgirl
UK(SE), 5 yrs |
OMG!!!! And there's me thinking i'd had a bad day
"It's alright to let yourself go as long as you can let yourself back" Mick Jagger
|
13 Dec 07, 10:25 PM
yoda_dog
UK(HP), 6 yrs
|
Fair one, it's hilarious, unless you're the person that actually did it (I still don't remember how though!)
Forsaken1 wrote:
yoda_dog wrote:
And we're still waiting for you to drop in for a brew!!!!
|
I will be there in the new year and thats a promise, not gunna say when mind
|
Damn, I'll have to keep the place tidy! lol...look forward to it
Good to hear, as it should be
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell thinks I'll take over"
"Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
|
14 Dec 07, 3:12 AM
MzAlana
UK, 7 yrs
|
yoda_dog wrote:
Everytime I read this, it makes me smile...so cheer up people!
Bad day at work???
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ar*e.
Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
|
omgg had a jellyfish sting it's agony.. luckily it was on My ankle.. bugger that shovin it up yr bum by mistake or not ohhhhhhhh
Be careful what you wish for little one....... it might be ME that turns up!!!
|
14 Dec 07, 1:33 PM
x_Red_x
6 yrs |
One *teeny tiny* thing - you cure the sting from jelly fish by peeing on the sting usually. Given that it was an enclosed suit, he would have been in a perfect position to pee in the suit and squish it around until it put out the fire. Since he's a diver, and they tend to end up having to pee in their suits if they're down for a very long time anyway, you'd think he'd know that...? Just a thought. I know, damp squib, pissing on your candles so to speak. Maybe he was just the most unfortunate and the dumbest diver ever? Red
Happily ensconced with my true Master 
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
|
14 Dec 07, 5:07 PM
yoda_dog
UK(HP), 6 yrs
|
x_Red_x wrote:
One *teeny tiny* thing - you cure the sting from jelly fish by peeing on the sting usually. Given that it was an enclosed suit, he would have been in a perfect position to pee in the suit and squish it around until it put out the fire. Since he's a diver, and they tend to end up having to pee in their suits if they're down for a very long time anyway, you'd think he'd know that...? Just a thought. I know, damp squib, pissing on your candles so to speak. Maybe he was just the most unfortunate and the dumbest diver ever?
|
There's always one! *sigh*
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell thinks I'll take over"
"Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
|
14 Dec 07, 8:40 PM
x_Red_x
6 yrs |
yoda_dog wrote:
x_Red_x wrote:
One *teeny tiny* thing - you cure the sting from jelly fish by peeing on the sting usually. Given that it was an enclosed suit, he would have been in a perfect position to pee in the suit and squish it around until it put out the fire. Since he's a diver, and they tend to end up having to pee in their suits if they're down for a very long time anyway, you'd think he'd know that...? Just a thought. I know, damp squib, pissing on your candles so to speak. Maybe he was just the most unfortunate and the dumbest diver ever?
|
There's always one! *sigh*
|
Yeah, but you still love me, really. Red
Happily ensconced with my true Master
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
|
14 Dec 07, 11:06 PM
yoda_dog
UK(HP), 6 yrs
|
x_Red_x wrote:
yoda_dog wrote:
x_Red_x wrote:
One *teeny tiny* thing - you cure the sting from jelly fish by peeing on the sting usually. Given that it was an enclosed suit, he would have been in a perfect position to pee in the suit and squish it around until it put out the fire. Since he's a diver, and they tend to end up having to pee in their suits if they're down for a very long time anyway, you'd think he'd know that...? Just a thought. I know, damp squib, pissing on your candles so to speak. Maybe he was just the most unfortunate and the dumbest diver ever?
|
There's always one! *sigh*
|
Yeah, but you still love me, really.
|
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell thinks I'll take over"
"Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
|
