Thoughts on...Punishment (48)

Why would a dominant reward a sub for being punished? Is it as one would do with a naughty child - make them do the time in the "naughty-corner" and then give them a cuddle for doing it well?

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Possibly a touch of emotional sadism helps - Plus I get to kiss it all better afterwards, and that's always fun.

- Chris

"...man will cease to be a slave and gain a dignity that is more than an exercise in cautious conformism, only when he becomes capable of stepping outside the most fundamental convictions, including those convictions, which allegedly make him human"
- Paul Feyerabend on epistemological anarchism

I think of those as more 'getting attention' than 'punishment' as such.

- Chris

"...man will cease to be a slave and gain a dignity that is more than an exercise in cautious conformism, only when he becomes capable of stepping outside the most fundamental convictions, including those convictions, which allegedly make him human"
- Paul Feyerabend on epistemological anarchism

I find that 'punishment' does not always have the effect I'm looking for. I'm lucky in that my sub is rarely deliberately disobedient. He just gets carried away from time to time and crosses the line. All he needs is a reminder of his place and that he is happier there.

As with parenting, in order to get the behaviour you want, positive reinforcement is usually more effective than punishment. When the behaviour is more serious and deliberate, it needs to be addressed differently, but I find that stern words followed by a withdrawal of all attention, rather than CP, soon has him grovelling for forgiveness.

Edited 11 Dec 07, 1:02 PM by Tadashii_Aikouka

I can relate to that. If it were the aim of someone to be a dutiful and obedient submissive, I would not punish mistakes or oversights on their part.

To me, actual punishment is more suited to a scene (or relationship) where the position of the sub is that of a slave or a person being held against their will. Punishment is a deterrent from trying to resist the will of the captor. It is an act which is performed to condition the sub against behaving wilfully. If used continually in a relationship, punishment will brainwash the person into never disobeying their master or mistress – effectively breaking their will and conquering their personality. In terms of a D/s relationship, this scenario seems to be one of the extreme dynamics between consenting adults.

Sp.

...digging below the moral high-ground.

Nicely put

For me punishment falls into different areas.

If a sub has done something to put a relationship at risk or some other major event then I do not see punishment as appropriate. I see discussion and working out what has gone wrong in an attempt to make the relationship stronger and not have the same problems reoccurring.

If as part of the relationship fun/play/control boundaries are put up, like no masturbating without permission and the sub then breaks that rule, then a suitable punishment should be given. I dont see this as a major problem, just something to work within the dynamics of D/s. So cold cane strokes, mundane tasks, something that is not terrible but will give the submissive something to think about.

Then there is the plain fun punishments. The sub gives a bit of cheek and gets put over the knee for a spank or does something that is of no importance but the Dom decides to use it as an excuse for some fun.

Thats how I see it.

I know many will see it all totally different.

hunnyB

*** BDSM Our Way. Stories, Poetry and more. Free BDSM style Cards to print off. www.dsculture.com ***

As she enjoys CP, I don't use it to punish her (it would only confuse her, as she told Me early in O/our relationship). Instead, I give her a short, sharp shock - often verbally, emphasising My displeasure by speaking in harsh, strident tones quite unlike My usual conversational level. In more extreme circumstances, I physically force her to the ground and tell her that she has displeased Me.

In either case, however, the emphasis is on short, abrupt punishment to let her know she has crossed the line, followed by accepting her back into My care once she demonstrates proper contrition.

My punishments revolve around mental control, rather than physical discomfort or boredom. I don't care for long, drawn out punishments as I find that given time, a sub will sometimes begin to resent the punishment rather than accept it as a consequence of their actions.

Edited 11 Dec 07, 10:46 PM by Lord_Snow_and_pet

I liked this! It was sort of where my own answers were trying to go... You managed it far better, even though the actual punishments might work out being rather different for the middle one, it is good to see gradations and the recognition that some things are not for punishment

Edited 13 Dec 07, 11:58 AM by egelante