This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 8 Dec 07, 4:01 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs  |
I don't think there is huge variety. It's almost universal now and historically that humans pair bond and often for life. Of course many stray and regret it or don't regret it and a few have cultures where additional wives (and sometimes husbands) are allowed or lovers condoned but it does seem to be the case that wherever and whenever you're brought up you tend to want a one to one exclusive relationship. I think you're right at the end of the post that long term it's more satifisying a relationship. Also if marriage is an institution over decades and you bring up children and share expenses it is also there for structurual reasons, for stability as a financial thing and that's best achieved when two adults share expenses and a life and being parents together rather than apart. Or you could say it's just an instrument for the oppression of women so that men can ensure they control women and their fertility and know (or think they know) who is the father of their children.
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| 8 Dec 07, 5:43 PM NinjaBitch 7 yrs  |
I've had neither an exclusive relationship nor a long-term relationship so I can't say if it's something I'd like. I "think" it's what I want but so far it hasn't come to fruition. Some years ago I became settled with the idea that life is okay on my own with random close-encounters along the way. Perfect behavio(u)r is born of complete indifference. | ||
| 8 Dec 07, 6:20 PM huntsman24 UK(BH), 9 yrs £ |
Having read most of this thread this is the one i associate with the most. in our case we worked out that for us you can only give away that, that is yours to give ,in other words when you are so in love and close to each other that you own each other mind body and soul then to loan the other out to a trusted and respected friend for or during a play session is a pleasure to behold. and the ultimate gift to a friend is to be trusted with your most valuable possession ,eg your partner | ||
| 8 Dec 07, 6:24 PM huntsman24 UK(BH), 9 yrs £ |
I couldnt of put it better myself respect mel | ||
| 8 Dec 07, 7:45 PM silent_soo UK, 5 yrs |
*snip*
Interesting that this has come up as Sir & I are in discussions about adding a third to our happy relationship. I am not that comfortable with it, but that stems from my PERSONAL insecurities of "what if she is better than me/what if he prefers her to me/what if he leaves me" A quote from his side of the argument: "Women are genetically programmed to keep looking for a better (alpha) male even when with someone else..... Females always want the top male in the pack, and if a new male comes along, will try and attract the dominant male. Men on the other hand want a whole harem of women, so given the chance we have as many as we can get away with, but discarding isnt something we usually do - it's the women who leave as they don't like to share..." Kinda makes sense to me.
Anyway, that's my two penn'orth xx ETA - "in discussions" pahahahaaaaaaa! And next, I will take over the world... Beautiful hand made floggers with a difference - http://www.geocities.com/flogmespankme/ Edited 8 Dec 07, 7:48 PM by silent_soo | ||
| 8 Dec 07, 9:59 PM myface_yourseat UK(WF), 11 yrs |
To be able to serve the one I adore and love every day is (in my humble opinion) the only way I will achieve the level of devotion and depth of submission that i crave. Why serve many when, if you are luck enough to find Her, you can serve "The One". Before anyone asks, if my owner required me to serve others then of course i would obey, but i would see this primarily as pleasing and serving my Mistress. | ||
| 9 Dec 07, 9:46 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
He's right. That perhaps explains why some patriarchal societies allow men more than one wife so they keep their commitment and indeed in many cases love for the first but introduce another. I am sure most women however don't like it so as soon as you give money, power, legal rights and status to women the two wives thing or even toleration of a mistress goes out the window.
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| 9 Dec 07, 9:49 AM tartfuldodger 5 yrs |
Does that mean that you wouldn't be allowed anything with another party because women cannot be trusted, due to their genetics? Sounds decidedly dodgy, sexist and manipulative to me. What's good for the goose, eh?
"A gentleman can be forgiven almost any indiscretion... provided he remains polite to his mother, of course..." | ||
| 9 Dec 07, 9:59 AM tartfuldodger 5 yrs |
We're all probably 'genetically programmed' to kill over territorial disputes, however most of us refrain, as a general rule. Trying to say that it's reasonable for men to have their own little harem, while women can't be trusted is pretty pathetic, really and says more about male insecurities than female. I think the reason patriarchal societies allow it is because *gasp, shock, horror!* they're ran by men, and thereofore worked out to give men advantages, while screwing over women. They also tend to deprive women of education, independence and financial equality, as well as civil liberties enjoyed by men.... You can use nature to 'explain' anything from date rape to infanticide.... that doesn't make it reasonable or give people the right to get away with it. (I'm not tarring poly with the same brush, there's nothing wrong with consenting adults making arrangements to please themselves but institutional marginalisation of women is not okay). I know a lot of (but by no means all) female subs like to think that submission is the natural state of being for women, and they're just doing what's natural....but seriously... It might be natural for you, but its not a universal truth of womanhood, and I'm sure there are enough female doms who will agree. "A gentleman can be forgiven almost any indiscretion... provided he remains polite to his mother, of course..." Edited 9 Dec 07, 10:02 AM by tartfuldodger | ||
| 9 Dec 07, 4:29 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
Yes and if you examine some cults in the US and UK where girls are married at 15 or 16 without education you always find the male leaders have about 34 wives and there needs to be some process of drumming out young teenage boys which they often have too so the girls share a few men. As soon as you educate women you get better and fairere relationships which is why it's great that the FT supports Camfed at Christmas which educates girls in Africa etc. |
