Posted by lucky_1 on Tue 20 Nov 07, 3:27 PM to lucky_1's blog.
Can you be in a D/s or M/s relationship and still have a sense of humour?
I'd say you can.
Does etiquette get in the way of laughter?
Each to their own I suppose, but not in our house it doesn't.
Confession time. Hi, my name is lucky and I am submissive, and guess what? I have a sense of humour. I have been known to literally roll around on the floor (obviously my natural habitat) holding my sides with tears rolling. Why? Because J, (yes, he of the scary Master alter ego) has said something that really had hit the spot.
Capi and I have both been reduced to fits of giggles and even our guests at home know something of the hilarity and absurdities that go on under our roof.
How do you get the balance right though? There is a difference between having a sense of humour and being an outright brat. Pains in the arse would simply not be tolerated. There is a time and a place for letting the humour flow and there is a time and a place for keeping it to yourself.
Sense of humour? or undesirable behaviour? What some see as a sense of humour others see as bratting, attention seeking and a lack of control. In other words, not big and not clever and certainly not an attractive quality from the viewpoint of a Dominant.
I suppose it all stems from the standpoint of the individual. Some see D/s as being a bit up ones own backside, some see bratting as being attractive, some don't. Some equate slaves with doormats and some find that slavery is anything but.
It would be a mistake to confuse a D/s dynamic and any ensuing etiquette with a lack of a sense of humour. To quote “Screw the Roses” “Fiesty subs and wisecracking slaves are the norm” D/s is not all about etiquette, nor pain, nor misery. It is about actually enjoying the state of submission and yes that does mean laughing too.
So how do you get it right?
Well, firstly I'm not saying I do! I know I have it right for us but that does not necessarily translate to what is right for others. There are a few simple rules that I stick to though.
I won't ever say anything that will upset my Dominants. (especially in public or in print) I won't ever embarrass my Dominants in pubic. I will always try to conduct myself politely and with some dignity.
Other than those I am quite at liberty to laugh my socks off! 
Shocking isn't it!
| 20 Nov 07, 3:31 PM hunny_Beez 8 yrs |
You are totally wrong...There is no place for humor in a D/s relationship....tut tut tut. Not funny, hunnyB *** BDSM Our Way. Stories, Poetry and more. Free BDSM style Cards to print off. www.dsculture.com *** | |
| 20 Nov 07, 3:32 PM Sinmara UK(N), 6 yrs  |
BDSM without humour - no fun for me! I'd say it's quintessential (for me)
------------------------------------------- This is the Island of Zombie Women | |
| 20 Nov 07, 3:35 PM crestedwench UK, 5 yrs  |
Oh i totaly agree. Laughter is a must, I myself have been known to fall about in giggles and great big belly laughs with my Dom present in private, but out side in public a difrent manner is taken well moslty , but respect for him and obediance is there,, Laughter is sooooo important as the relationship progresses, xx to know who you are is the greatest gift of all | |
| 20 Nov 07, 3:39 PM Priapuss UK(PO), 4 yrs |
Sense of humour is a prerequisite for me. Where would all the double entendres be if not for taking the humour and turning it to my own meanings! Today's the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. | |
| 20 Nov 07, 3:44 PM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs |
It's one of those straw men that get trotted out from time to time, sometimes with deliberate malice. It's just based on a very silly idea that regarding something as serious or important means that it also has to be somber (an idea ultimately from Christianity I think). Of course the other side of the same misconception is that people who laugh a lot can't possibly be serious about their kink. - Chris "...man will cease to be a slave and gain a dignity that is more than an exercise in cautious conformism, only when he becomes capable of stepping outside the most fundamental convictions, including those convictions, which allegedly make him human" | |
| 20 Nov 07, 4:00 PM RastaPasta 9 yrs |
Oh yes, very much so! D/s should be fun as well as deep/meaningful etc... Kinky people I would have thought are more inclined to have a sense of humour, they are more open minded.
I'm everyone, hang your label on me. I'm everyone, paint it black and white and easy. | |
| 20 Nov 07, 4:09 PM The_Counsellor UK(WA), 5 yrs |
Laughter is wonderful for us. Good medicine for the soul and psyche. I feel that laughter that is with somebody rather than at them is usually right. The Counsellor Kink Friendly Counselling and Therapy Let me help you to be the best you that you can be | |
| 20 Nov 07, 4:12 PM Qwoin  UK(S), 10 yrs |
I think lucky_1 covered most of the aspects in her original post, I am very serious about the lifestyle and my interest in it but that still leaves plenty of scope for fun. However as she rightly points out there are times and places where fun may not be appropriate. You only have one life enjoy it and live it to the full. Don't be afraid of dying, be afraid of not living. | |
| 20 Nov 07, 4:22 PM MissLioness UK(LS), 5 yrs |
life saw i needed a true playmate one that compliments me and life brought to me *GoldMane* | |
| 20 Nov 07, 4:22 PM bound4mistress UK, 4 yrs |
There's plenty of humour on these boards, so at least the people here laugh. Well the vast majority anyway. |
