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| SnowdropExplodes |
on Sat 3 Nov 07, 4:37 PM to SnowdropExplodes's blog.
Wasn't sure if I would post this here or not, it's already up on my blog, at http://afemanistview.blogspot.com/2007/11/fantas... In the end I decided I was being silly about being nervous about it, so here it is:
I wonder if it is normal for male sadist Dominants to fantasise about having a magical fairytale wedding? I know I have such fantasies, and fantasies of planning it with a partner, what we'll put on the invites and so on and so forth...
So, here is my fantasy wedding described for you:
The fun part for me, but also the trickiest bit to imagine how to make it come true, is that if and when I get married, it won't just be a wedding, it will also be a collaring ceremony. I can't imagine marrying someone I wouldn't collar, and I can't imagine collaring someone I wouldn't marry, so in my mind the two go together. But at the same time, I want my wedding to be a wonderful family occasion with all the friends and family that I love, to be there. I would also like my wedding to take place in a church, before God - because I am, after all, a Christian (albeit a heretic as well). That sort of makes it tricky to picture the whole combined thing of BDSM and regular commitment ceremonies.
One thing I really fantasise about deeply is the idea of "asymmetric vows", that would reflect the D/s roles that my submissive and I would have within the marriage. I fantasise about us writing those vows together beforehand, and then saying them out loud before our families and friends, so that we would both be "out" and happy, and hopefully, accepted. I sometimes think of going back to the old, traditional Christian vows where the woman promises to "love, honour and obey" but somehow I don't think that truly encapsulates what we would want to say to each other on that day.
I love the idea of saying, "With this ring I thee wed," but putting a collar on her instead of a traditional wedding ring on the finger, and the collar being the wedding ring. I would love to wear a ring myself as well, that was somehow linked in theme with the collar to show the connection between us. I often think that it's a shame that Doms in long-term relationships don't also have a version of the collar, so that they also could wear a symbol of their relationship. I think the ring would be a good way of doing it. Of course, what I would really like to be able to do is brand my submissive, but there is no way in Heaven or Earth that we would get away with that in a church wedding! But, the thing I would really like, is that I could command her to brand me as well. I'm a masochist as well as a sadist, so I rather like the idea of us both wearing the same branded mark to show our unity as a couple, and I like the idea of symbolically "proving" that I can take whatever I dish out to her (I'm not sure it would necessarily be true that I could, but I like the symbolism!)
She would, of course, wear a corset wedding dress. I would wear the traditional male wedding garb, but maybe with some symbol of BDSM involved (perhaps a crooked cane over my forearm, something that might look natural with the rest of the outfit and not cause offence, but that would carry all the symbolism we needed it to). I think that it would be fun to have her in a chastity belt for the ceremony, because the chances are we'll have had all kinds of sex before, and it would be a joke on the supposed pristine virginity symbolised by the white wedding dress!
I think that I would hate to have someone "give her away" to me, though, because the whole point of BDSM is that she chooses the role for herself, of her own free will, and the idea of someone giving her to me in that context just makes no sense whatsoever, and is in fact quite icky. So we would have to find some other way to do it, I think maybe instead of having a male figure give her away, she should be attended by a maid of honour only who would perform whatever duties are required of the usual "giver-away" but without any of that "prior ownership" baggage.
Goodness knows what the speeches at the reception afterwards would be like, but I kind of imagine there being two receptions, first the nilla reception (attended by everyone) and later a BDSM reception at a fetish club or some such (attended only by kinky sorts). The nilla reception would probably have a fun rock'n'roll band or something like that, plenty of boogieing and stuff. I'd probably choose fish'n'chips for the meal if it were up to me alone, but I think any self-respecting sub on her wedding day would safeword at that idea (and quite right too!) I imagine there would be quite a lot of explaining to people about the asymmetric vows and the collar, but of course in my fantasy, everyone is absolutely cool with it (I guess as well as my ideal collaring and ideal wedding, this is also my ideal "coming out" as kinky to my family). Because I'm not comfortable with alcohol and BDSM play mixing, my wife and I would not drink more than a glass of champagne, after all, when we get to the BDSM reception, spanking and caning and bondage and fun of that nature are sure to be involved somewhere! Still, as anyone who's tried it knows, you can have just as much fun without getting drunk.
Then the BDSM reception, where possibly we brand one another, and we do much sensuous bonding and bondage and pain in the company of kinky friends doing the same. Maybe new vows, of a much more X-rated nature, are exchanged, too. Then we go home, I carry her across the threshold, and leave her tied up in bed...
On the question of surnames, I would actually be tempted to follow the line in "A Handmaids Tale" and have her surname be "Ofsnowdrop" to indicate my ownership of her (with my real first name in place of "Snowdrop", of course!)
And there you have it. My dreamy, starry-eyed fairytale-fantasy-kinkstyle-castleintheair idea of how my wedding will be. Now all I need to do is find someone to share it with and make it become reality. Sometimes, that feels like the hardest part of all...!
| 4 Nov 07, 5:17 PM Call_Me_Harmony UK(CB), 5 yrs |
Wow, sounds excellent. And your right, just the hardest bit to do now. Taking risks may lead to pain. Avoiding risks stifles possibilities. I am learning to be a risk-taker. |
