3 Nov 07, 1:01 AM
MistressNikki
UK(SE), 9 yrs
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LovelyKitty wrote:
I have only met one Domme who likes to use her body to wrestle her sub into submission so I'm not making out my kinks are strange, farout or super special in anyway just that they seem to be a rarity.
Maybe lots of subs like what I like but do many Dommes like having to go to all the trouble of physically overpowering a man? Does the idea of physically wrestling as submissive guy into obedience appeal to many women? Or is the the obedience that is desired and not the journey to the surrender?
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That is indeed another question...
However:
Yes, I enjoy a good wrassle. Problem is, unless the bottom is weaker than me in the arms (As all my strength is pretty much in the lower body from Cycling and walking), I'm not going to win unless either I start on top of them anyway, or they hold back their upper body strength to let me pin them. Sort of defeats the object of the wrassle for both of us.
So, I prefer someone that simply acknowledges that I hold more power than they do. I do use my physicallity in that process, but it doesn't usually involve a knock-down-drag fight!
On-going Special on Hugs...
An ill conceived law hiding behind the excuse of giving succour to a grieving mother.
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3 Nov 07, 1:03 AM
luke35
TH, 4 yrs
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MistressNikki wrote:
lovelykitty wrote:
For a woman to assert herself physically over a man without these tools could be problematic.
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Nah, all you need is a brain, the 'tude, and the look in your eye.
I'm far more likely to be D/s style "Dominant" when I'm "just me", home from work or out casual socialising of a weekend than when I'm suited and booted for Clubbing.
That Mode of attire definitely puts me in SM and B mode!
Prime example. I recently met a friend of a friend. We all had a incredibly good and totally bizzare evening out and about in Camden.
We piled back to the F of F's place at about 4am, and all sat around chatting. F of F ended up at my feet, through lack of chairs more than anything...
So, I started stroking his leg with my foot very casually, and so asserting that I was paying attention to him, which lead to getting my feet rubbed in return.
At some point the very question "Just what is passive Doming then?" came up. To which my reply was, "Well, I'm doing it right now."
"Oh yeah... So you are... hmmmm..." came the rather shocked, yet amazed reply.
Turned into a rather good evening all told... 
Using Mind Power and nothing else to get what you want is easy. The tricksome part is using the power wisely, after all, there is responsibility that goes along with as well.
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Wonderful! if I have confused and upset others with this thread you sure seemed to have got my drift, what a brilliant example of subtle assertion of power and the use of mind. That is far more exciting in it's subtlety than any rope bondage and candle wax session could ever be for me. I shall sleep well with that thought  Thankyou Nikki
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3 Nov 07, 1:05 AM
luke35
TH, 4 yrs
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MistressNikki wrote:
LovelyKitty wrote:
I have only met one Domme who likes to use her body to wrestle her sub into submission so I'm not making out my kinks are strange, farout or super special in anyway just that they seem to be a rarity.
Maybe lots of subs like what I like but do many Dommes like having to go to all the trouble of physically overpowering a man? Does the idea of physically wrestling as submissive guy into obedience appeal to many women? Or is the the obedience that is desired and not the journey to the surrender?
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That is indeed another question...
However:
Yes, I enjoy a good wrassle. Problem is, unless the bottom is weaker than me in the arms (As all my strength is pretty much in the lower body from Cycling and walking), I'm not going to win unless either I start on top of them anyway, or they hold back their upper body strength to let me pin them. Sort of defeats the object of the wrassle for both of us.
So, I prefer someone that simply acknowledges that I hold more power than they do. I do use my physicallity in that process, but it doesn't usually involve a knock-down-drag fight!
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If I'm aroused I'm helpless, a total jobber I think is the phrase.
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3 Nov 07, 4:55 AM
MsArachne
IT, 6 yrs
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lovelykitty wrote:
fluffy_welsh_angel wrote:
lovelykitty wrote:
For a woman to assert herself physically over a man without these tools could be problematic.
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Umm why? I have met a few women, who, their sheer presence makes me feel submissive (not really had that with a man strangely enough)
I think you'll find there are a few Dommes on here that are going to question that statement.
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So have I but physically for many women the idea of trying to overpower a man sounds to much like hard work. It is a bit of an uneven match. Many Dommes prefer their subs to exhibit submission and obedience from the outset.
Overpowering me wouldn't be a problem once I'm aroused I turn to jelly and I'm easy to throw around
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Do you mean to infer that female subs are more easily dominated than their male counterparts?
Or that most Dommes are too ineffectual to mentally and psychologically dominate a male sub without the SM aspect of BDSM?
If you think it is all about the physicality, I'm afraid your p.o.v. is a bit limited: D/s begins in the mind and thus is not dependent upon a woman being an even physical match for a man.
I'm not having a go at you; I simply do not understand the basis for your hypotheses. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus
We are the Very Righteous Order of Pervs. We worship no God but each other. With our mighty vrop of retribution, we will cleanse the depths of IC.
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3 Nov 07, 7:27 AM
x_Raven_x
UK(CR), 6 yrs
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I'm physically very short, very weak and I'm very fluffy but I have a strong, dirty, imaginative mind and eyes, and when I choose them to be they are the best assets in my collection of tools and they seem to be working just fine so far. |
3 Nov 07, 8:29 AM
pandorasmew
UK(EX), 5 yrs
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lovelykitty wrote:
MistressNikki wrote:
LovelyKitty wrote:
I have only met one Domme who likes to use her body to wrestle her sub into submission so I'm not making out my kinks are strange, farout or super special in anyway just that they seem to be a rarity.
Maybe lots of subs like what I like but do many Dommes like having to go to all the trouble of physically overpowering a man? Does the idea of physically wrestling as submissive guy into obedience appeal to many women? Or is the the obedience that is desired and not the journey to the surrender?
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That is indeed another question...
However:
Yes, I enjoy a good wrassle. Problem is, unless the bottom is weaker than me in the arms (As all my strength is pretty much in the lower body from Cycling and walking), I'm not going to win unless either I start on top of them anyway, or they hold back their upper body strength to let me pin them. Sort of defeats the object of the wrassle for both of us.
So, I prefer someone that simply acknowledges that I hold more power than they do. I do use my physicallity in that process, but it doesn't usually involve a knock-down-drag fight!
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If I'm aroused I'm helpless, a total jobber I think is the phrase.
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.. which is a very male orientated condition .
from what ive read here , you have very little understanding of concept of D/s - ( but i do empathise as i have difficulty with the terms and meanings ) If you are to communicate within this 'scene' i guess its important to understand the terms used, from your profile you seem to want to connect with all sides of the personality traits within D/s ( ie sub , dom /Domme , Tv ,Ts ) - which does show that you may not truly connect with any of the personalities , and wish to experiment around all aspects of role play more than anything else. This may be why you do not show any particular attraction to s x m , and your questions about use of tools and equipment back this up. The concept of D/s comes in many forms - if a sub is easily controlled , a dom can physically control with one word - but it can also be the case that neither are sub or dom - they could both be roleplaying . The scene is diverse , people can identify thier sexuality and personality as seperate , entwined , or changable, they can see D/s , SxM , Bondage, as physical or mental - this is the reason why there are so many arguements over how 'it' should be - also consider the word Player - some see it as an example of what people do within the scene - others see it as meaning someone who is roleplaying the kink concept of BDSM . I think its great you are exploring , and questioning - its better than being opinionated , just dont typecast yourself before you know for sure where you truly stand. |
3 Nov 07, 8:37 AM
Ariane
8 yrs |
lovelykitty wrote:
Crystal_Eyes wrote:
Surely you mean SM, not BDSM, in the title?
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Ok subs or Dom/mes who are not into s&m, bondage, public play or dungeons.
Is that better?
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When it's clarified like that, yes, there are many. I like sensation play myself, but I've come across many people in the scene who are oriented towards D/s but have no interest in anything physical at all.
There is a wide spectrum of kink out there, do what you feel drawn to and don't worry about what can sometimes seem like expectations. As long as you play with someone who is compatible.
Ariane It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
~ Tyler Durden
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3 Nov 07, 8:50 AM
RubyQuinn
UK, 6 yrs
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lovelykitty wrote:
Ok subs or Dom/mes who are not into s&m, bondage, public play or dungeons.
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I don't like clubs. I don't play publicly. I don't care about dungeons.
While I do sometimes use bondage and pain in play sessions, I much prefer psychological D/s. It's my thing. "We don't use the word insane. We prefer the term mentally hilarious." ~ Family Guy
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3 Nov 07, 9:21 AM
twisted_kitty
UK(OX), 4 yrs
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I find it interesting only one other man has posted on here and he is a bit switchy too .... any way every one has there own kinks and needs we just need to find the other half to our ying or yang..... Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile!
Edited 3 Nov 07, 11:53 AM by twisted_kitty
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3 Nov 07, 11:03 AM
luke35
TH, 4 yrs
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MsArachne wrote:
lovelykitty wrote:
fluffy_welsh_angel wrote:
lovelykitty wrote:
For a woman to assert herself physically over a man without these tools could be problematic.
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Umm why? I have met a few women, who, their sheer presence makes me feel submissive (not really had that with a man strangely enough)
I think you'll find there are a few Dommes on here that are going to question that statement.
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So have I but physically for many women the idea of trying to overpower a man sounds to much like hard work. It is a bit of an uneven match. Many Dommes prefer their subs to exhibit submission and obedience from the outset.
Overpowering me wouldn't be a problem once I'm aroused I turn to jelly and I'm easy to throw around
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Do you mean to infer that female subs are more easily dominated than their male counterparts?
Or that most Dommes are too ineffectual to mentally and psychologically dominate a male sub without the SM aspect of BDSM?
If you think it is all about the physicality, I'm afraid your p.o.v. is a bit limited: D/s begins in the mind and thus is not dependent upon a woman being an even physical match for a man.
I'm not having a go at you; I simply do not understand the basis for your hypotheses.
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I didn't say that, but physical overpowerment (is that a word?) plays a big part in domination for me.
SHEESH why is everyone being so deffensive on this one?
You would think I had called s&m people wankers, Dommes incompetent and said all i wanted was a kinky roll in the hay. Of course mind and imagination are the most important. It's just for me physical acts of domination such as pinning, crushing or hair pulling take the place of rope and whips.
In my limited experience not many Dommes choose to dominate men in this way.
I think desiring this kind of physicality is quite natural all the equipment is an add on but it seems that the domination with the equipment is the default, it is by far the most popular and bare handed physical bullying can be a rare thing indeed.
Please please can everyone stop reading negativity and attacks into this thread. oi va voi!
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