subs turning DOM (18)

This post is on the Birmingham (B) topics page and the BDSM Events web board.

16 Oct 07, 7:57 PM
firemynx_B
UK(B), 7 yrs
Y!

mbsuff wrote:
I was just wandering what would turn a sub into a DOM.
I can't say it would turn me into a Dominant, but if my Dom wished me to Top someone else.

mbsuff wrote:
My only guess is they like me cannot find a DOM partner but still crave the scene and it seems that being DOM will attract a lot more intrest.
Nope, definately not that, and if I was aware this was a persons reasons, it would put me off, because I know they would always be craving another side.

mbsuff wrote:
How can I find my DOM in a scene so crowded with subs. Same way a job applicant manages to get appointed in a job sector cluttered with applicants, make yourself appealing, and be proactive.
By keeping trying, like most people do

"Dear Santa ........ I can explain!"
Edited 16 Oct 07, 8:00 PM by firemynx_B

16 Oct 07, 8:01 PM
firemynx_B
UK(B), 7 yrs
Y!
Thats a bit radical isn't it? not sure they will cope with that

Red_Spark wrote:
Perhaps some people ~turn~ Dom because they ~are~ Dom - or switch...
Just a thought.

"Dear Santa ........ I can explain!"

16 Oct 07, 8:33 PM
wanderlust
UK, 2 yrs

Some people just bring out different desires in you... Sometimes a 'sub' meets someone who helps them feel confident to try out more Dominant roles and they find it turns them on... Sometimes people just change, or get in touch with new sides of themselves. I don't think its always a case of someone 'switching sides' out of desperation. Sexuality is complex, and rarely 'fixed'.

16 Oct 07, 9:53 PM
subandy1983
UK, 3 yrs
Y!

mbsuff wrote:
subs turning DOM
I was just wandering what would turn a sub into a DOM. My only guess is they like me cannot find a DOM partner but still crave the scene and it seems that being DOM will attract a lot more intrest. How can I find my DOM in a scene so crowded with subs.
I was considering turning dom recently because I couldn't seem to find a domme no matter how hard I tried. I still haven't found one but decided against switching because why should I sacrifice something I enjoy and comes to me naturally just because there are so many timewasters out there? Sometimes you've just got to stick it out and hope that what you want will come to you eventually.
But I agree that some subs turn domme through desperation.

17 Oct 07, 2:21 AM
FaerieCatcher
UK(BN), 2 yrs

wanderlust wrote:
Some people just bring out different desires in you...
it's interesting that words like 'submissive' and 'dominant' which are adjectives describing relationships have become nouns in a BDSM context.
Catcher

17 Oct 07, 2:37 AM
William3leet
UK, 20 mths

MsChastity wrote:
I am a switch 50/50 straight down the middle.
I have met in my time some fantastic subs who Dom, however by their own admission they are only faking the act,
I have been to known to play this role.

17 Oct 07, 3:25 AM
IndelibleMarker
UK(N), 3 yrs
From what I've seen, there are hundreds of different factors, but the most common one in my opinion is experience.
A lot of people start out as subs because they don't know all that much about the scene. They love to learn and they look up to those more experienced as wonderful beacons in the night. They naturally slip into the submissive side.
Then after a while they learn more and more and keep talking to people about aspects of the scene. People ask them questions, or say something stupid and it irritates them. They decide to educate them. With the educating then follows the desire for Domination.
Personally, I think the question "what turns a Dom/me into a sub" is a more interesting question...
Tuam matrem feci,
Patrick
IndelibleMarker

17 Oct 07, 11:09 AM
Eventer
UK(SW), 2 yrs
Y!
mbsuff wrote:
subs turning DOM
I was just wandering what would turn a sub into a DOM...
you aren't born a sub or dom - its only about feelings - feeling what is comfortable & you enjoy. Some always feel one way and can't switch, others react one way to their partners and can recat otherwise to cerain others. If in doubt, don't label yourself, just go with the flow.

mbsuff wrote:
subs turning DOM My only guess is they like me cannot find a DOM partner but still crave the scene and it seems that being DOM will attract a lot more intrest. How can I find my DOM in a scene so crowded with subs.
A fake dom will out.
If you dont feel dom, then dont - try topping a dom bottom first, ie with their consent - and see how it goes.


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