Mixing business with pleasure (16)

Does he always pay for his pleasure or do you drop charges and give your service freely?

Or perhaps clients are kept totally separate from friends to keep the situation clear? I knew one domme who would not perform a service to one applicant as she considered herself his friend. He accepted that with good grace, as a friend would , but was naturally disappointed.

It's a minefield isn't it?

Edited Mon 3 Sep 07, 12:06 PM by sardax

Unfortunately he rather took this for granted and became quite blasé about our relationship, affording me less consideration than when he was a client. It was as if I had become more accessible so therefore less I don't know 'mysterious' maybe?

So as much as I like to be friendly outside of session to my clients they will remain just my clients for now.

Friends in the scene however, as in never have been or will be clients, I will play with in a club or similar, when I want to, if they want to.

Lady Anna http://www.ladyanna.co.uk/

In my experience, most people who come to see me professionally want just that. It's irrelevant if a friendship builds up around that - that simply just makes the play better! There is never really an alterior motive - I don't think anyone's been to see me professionally with the hope that I may one day become their girlfriend - they could just memo me on IC if they wanted that! The people who see me want to pay and for some it is all part of their particular kink.

I would think that most self employed people have clients they would consider good friends - I know I do in other areas of my career. I do take your point that this is a more intimate activity - but just as long as people have their heads screwed on (something you can usually tell from a few emails) and enjoy the experience and friendship as it is, then it can be pretty problem free, in my experience.

The comments from Mistress Susannah cover it pretty well. My domme and I are good friends; we meet up regularly for lunch/drinks out of session and we have been to clubs together. I trust her advice on many things because she knows the "full me" and, over the years, she has helped me hugely both BDSM wise and with my private life.

I think it's true that you can get "extras"; more session time, favourable rates etc etc quite often because the play between you is so good and you both really enjoy it. It's very important though, as LadyAnna says, that you don't then take the piss

Key thing, to me, is that the boundaries are known and observed

Edited 3 Sep 07, 6:18 PM by lisal

The OP and some of the problems hinted at in previous posts come, in my opinion, from the sad fact that to some people, what I do is not a business to be treated like you would any other business: the pub, your friendly baker, the helpful DIY shop round the corner, etc. Do you expect them to give you everything for free because you've developed a friendship over time? Same with me. I pay back in openness, skill, extra time, and dedication. Those are my wares and I administer them at my discretion.

In the money department, I'm the zero tolerance type and very consistent. It's worked very well for years.

"There is a big secret about sex: most people don't like it."
Leo Bersani.

That is more or less how I see it too, in terms of my own business as an illustrator.

I find that those who understand the distinctions between friendship and business, and would not try to place me in an embarrassing position of refusing a request, who have respect for my talent and take into account what it costs to keep it all going, they are the very clients I want to be friends with.

Absolutely. And what kind of friend is that who thinks that friendship means giving and expecting compulsory freebies? Pleeeeez!

"There is a big secret about sex: most people don't like it."
Leo Bersani.

The truth will out

Ah, but lisal has always been one of the girls!

"There is a big secret about sex: most people don't like it."
Leo Bersani.

Quite right. If you're professional about what you do, believe in it and yourself, you will not get caught up in any problems around the morality of charging for your services. This is the only reason why I could see someone involved in personal service provision would view their business as different from a baker, publican, etc.

Mistress Alpha.

www.mistressalpha.co.uk Life coaching and therapeutic Ownership for submissives. Don't simply tolerate life, live it to the full!
Kinky web site hosting offered on my own server space, and support too.

Yeah - and my fantastic legs underline that

I just know you are sooooooooo jealous of them MsT