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IC : Weblogs : Magic_Wand : "Closure - Brick Walls"
Closure - Brick Walls (1)
Magic_Wand's profile
Posted by Magic_Wand on Thu 26 Jul 07, 9:05 AM
Yesterday I got closure on a part of my life I have been struggling with for a while
Its sad to have to face reality when you're not sure you want to but when but when there's no alternative you face the inevitable conclusion.
I learnt some stark lessons about myself:
At 45 I am still far too gullible, I take people at face value and chose to believe what they tell me, Its far too easy to play with my emotions, I believe what I'm told as this is what I would desire in return, something I am not going to change
I had to make a decision a while back, not an easy one, one I felt I could have got wrong, but on this occasion time has proven my decision justified.
I have been through a divorce, nothing to unusual there and have had a few lady friends along the way. I often got asked “what are you looking for”. I often replied “not total sure, but I know what I don't want” and I would real of a list of negatives.
Well I added to that list of don't wants yesterday.
“Brick Walls!” I have discovered how to be happy. You have to come out from behind that brick wall you build yourself, the brick wall of “tough resilience” for those to scared to a life of unhappiness is assured.
You get out of your comfort zone and go for it, and if the worst occurs you learn from it but you don't hide again behind the brick wall. Brick wall=Unhappiness
Selfishness. – Sometimes its hard to spot, sometimes you choose not to see it, but No Thanks.
Communication. I consider myself a reasonable communicator, but some people chose not to listen and would rather dismiss with a single word than take the time to listen to another, consider then dismiss if applicable, but then it's always safer behind the brick wall.
Conclusion. A cloud lifted for me yesterday, I spent far too much time looking back holding on to the past trying to rekindle the good memories; and nowhere near enough time looking forward at all the new good memories yet to be made, the fog in front of me seemed denser than the fog behind. In my case, the reality is that the sunshine was & is ahead, just sometimes it takes a while to come through.
Closing a door on a past area of my life has lifted the fog, I am even stronger than I thought I was and the road ahead full of intrigue for the inquisitive mind. Almost over night my positiveness has predominantly returned.
So to those of you who can relate to this, my message is.
“come see the sunshine”, get out from behind that brick wall, get out of your comfort zone, look forward as happiness and warmth (and true love)is there to be had.
My regret is it's taken me too long to get here, hope someway I can make up for lost time; we'll see.
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