would you be 'told' ? (64)

Lady_Alys wrote: Diamondlil wrote: Lady_Alys wrote: Diamondlil wrote: Right, sub or not, if someone was in my house watching the telly i paid for (telly, wtf's that to do with Dom/sub temporary play relationship?) swanning round the kitchen while im stuck in a bedroom - two words; teeth everywhere. A bit of discretion and humanity for fucks sake. If thats THEIR dynaminc, and a little added humiliation, fine, but if this man is actucally getting upset in his own home and cant change that, someone needs to get fucked off. Have a bit of fucking respect. And thats my opinion, and im not telling everyone thats how it should be, so dont jump on me cos i wont bloody reply. lol ... I like a man who speaks his mind. strange as it may seem and as temperance has already said the Dom is usually a reasonable man if alittle arrogant. You calling me arrogant?? Whats temperance been saying?? Niether of us would dare...............

ermmm i may ..

Its not me talking.. its the wine!!

I've tried, AA route master, streetmap and TOM Tom - I'm still lost.............

When others have said the same, you've quite rightly said we're stating the obvious - because it IS obvious. But I just cannot understand why your sub is not taking things in hand himself. After all this dom is only a visitor in HIS home, with no business to be taking unwelcome liberties.

Something seems to be missing from this story. Is there something you haven't told us?

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

The boundaries of the poly arrangement concern the people in the arrangement. Your submissive isn't a partner in the poly arrangement...he just happens to be wed to one of the partners (primary partner of a secondary partner in a poly relationship it sounds like). Partners in relationships have a stake in the happiness of all the other partners, and it doesn't sound as if his feelings or needs have been given any consideration whatsoever... so it sounds as if he's more of an in-law and external to the poly group.

I think I'd have a talk with the dominant after talking to your submissive to see what he thinks he is willing to live with in terms of affording them some privacy. If they're unmovable, I'd probably just go sit in the lounge while they're there and see if they'd say anything to me. I'm like that when people hurt the people I care about.

SinPar

-- The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis)

Edited 25 Jul 07, 4:43 AM by SinPar

Edited 25 Jul 07, 6:29 AM by twisted_kitty

Respect is a two-way street.... where is the visiting Dom's respect for the owner of the property he visits?

I think that the visiting Dom should be the one who is restricted to certain areas of the house, especially as the house-owner, bill-payer, husband of his sub is resident.

It all sounds to me like it is going to end in a lot of upset.... it seems it's already headed that way.

IMO.... A sub is not a sub unless they have submitted to a Dom/me... if your sub hasn't submitted to his wifes Dom he has every right to make the ground-rules in his own home.

I don't envy you your dilemma.

C x

~ETA: I wouldn't be told by a Dom/me who I had not submitted to where I could go in my own home when they visited it.... FFS!! Sometimes, the reality is not as good as the dream. Personally I wouldn't accept this situation anyway.... but then, I wouldn't share a partner either.~

Edited 25 Jul 07, 7:47 AM by chartreuse

I've tried to be fair and honest. I didn't begin the post to slag off any of those involved. I began it to get some advice about a situation I'm still learning about.