'Age doesn't make a difference' MY ANUS! (82)

I was talking from one novice sub to another, but didn't specify my advice to either Dom or sub. It applies to meeting anyone off the net, bdsm or nilla.

How would this work? In a bar you have a lot more input than just text, nonverbal behaviour is indeed a very good and strong indicator so if someone creeps you out it's all pretty obvious, but I did cover that with 'gut instinct'.

The problem with meeting people on the internet is that you have a hell of a lot less information to work with and that mister charming can be more of a predator than a pleaser when you do meet. Just because someone seems 'in your league' doesn't mean it's safe to just up and meet. I'd still very much recommend to double check him through the network or otherwise.

A poster here suggested to stick around the board and watch the regular posters, I'd very much agree with that. At least you have some textual context which isn't directed at you personally to try and judge his character, although obviously that's still no guarantee.

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Edited 13 Jul 07, 7:16 AM by Astilaroth

Mistress Erotica/ Rotti

If life were made of moments then you'd never know you had one.

Do they like their meat tender, or are they frightened of being faced with a mature woman who has experienced life, and who is therefore more able to spot the chancers and the abusers ?

In my view, it's the latter.

Not_Peter

The only perfect science is hindsight. Everybody is *somebody's* nutter. Downrange isn't always where you expect it to be.

Is't it maybe as simple as a mature experienced Dom enjoying the feeling of protecting and guiding a total new and vulnerable sub? At least the Dom's who contacted me felt like they were more concerned and protective than pervy and the fact that I still have a friendly nice contact with a few of them even though there is no chance of 'play', confirms that for me.

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Original Alice

So very very true.

FIFE & TAYSIDE MUNCH
"A genuine passion is like a mountain stream; it admits of no impediment; it cannot go backward; it must go forward." - Christian Nestell Bovee

When that's the case, it is good and healthy for both the Dom and the sub.

However, most people who go to clubs and munches will, at least once, have come across an older man with a young and vulnerable sub (usually one with self-esteem issues) where the relationship is based on his inability to relate to, or to successfully interact as a Dom, with women of his own age.

A friend on IC has a sub who is more than 20 years his junior, and he is indeed motivated by the need to teach and protect a new and vulnerable sub. Not every young sub is that lucky unfortunately.

Not_Peter

And there is also the posibility that a relationship that looks obvious on the outside is anything but when you get inside. Let's not be too quick to dismiss what we see at first glance.

Across history, there have always been a significant number of relationships where older men have "acquired" younger women. Some have worked, some have failed, and some have even made it into legend (look at Heloise and Abelard). Just why one works and one doesn't will depend upon that couple.

However...for every couple that one sees, there must be many more single males (and sometimes females) who would wish to have that, and for whatever reason, fail in their search. Those who succeed are known as "lucky bastards"...those who fail are are equally likely to be known as "sad bastards".

Of course age matters...at a biological level and at a "kudos" level. These imperatives are hard to ignore, as is the envy they sometimes engender.

There are two kinds of people in the world, fesseurs and fesses - Georges Simenon

I get the biological point, if you want kids. But I'm not sure I understand the kudos. I'm just wondering if there wouldn't be more kudos to having say, Helen Mirren at the end of your leash than, say, Jade Goody.