Posted by feitheachd on Sun 8 Jul 07, 1:39 PM to feitheachd's blog.
On and off I've read quite a bit of the Internal Enslavement website and, although I have difficulties of the more abstract psychological aspects which are covered, I completely understand the basic concept.
If I'm ever fortunate enough to embark on a Mistress / slave relationship, I would want to know that a mutually held goal would be my internal enslavement. However, until that happens, I have been pursuing an evolution which I've begun to think of as Internal Surrender.
I've always sort of known what I mean by internal surrender but I've never really thought about trying to define it properly.
On my journey I've passed through a number of phases: recognition of my nature, the conflict with my “real life” persona, the reluctant acceptance and the happy embrace.
I'm now at the penultimate (and perhaps final) phase, when I actively work on changing aspects of my personality, outlook and habits to make them more conducive to a Mistress / slave relationship.
However, it's not about the goal, whether it happens is not something I can control; therefore my focus must be entirely on the process itself.
So, a working definition of my Internal Surrender would look something like this:
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Internal Surrender. The proactive pursuit of the development of those positive attributes: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual, which create a solid bedrock for a state of happy, affirmative and fulfilled slavehood. |
Now that I have at least a framework for what I'm trying to achieve, I'm going to think more carefully about what I already do and what more I can do to immerse myself more deeply in the process.
| 9 Jul 07, 6:13 AM Miss_Namio UK(DT), 5 yrs  |
What is strange, wonderful and marvellous in my own experience is the almost involuntary but entirely welcome changes my pet boy feels when he also "feels" mine! There is a tipping point; when he has given, surrendered and offered up his submissive psyche to me. He becomes happier, contented, he feels natural, comfortable and positive now he's found his "owner" I can give no better illustration than to quote something someone once wrote to me: "...Oh, I how wish 29 August would come sooner: and I hope that you are able to resolve your "logistical" problems. My Mistress, I was also thrilled to see the entry in your IC profile - I am so happy that you are pleased with me as your pet boy and to say so semi-publically is such delightful reward. I will do everything I can to make sure that you remain pleased with your new acquisistion! I am now in a position psychologically where I have absolutely no doubt that I would do anything you wished me to in the pursuit of your pleasure as my Dominant Lady. I had, for example, never imagine that I would volunteer so readily to be your accessory for public play at a club. But yesterday I had no hesitation in volunteering - it felt absolutely the right thing to do and I am excited just at the thought of it. This is not just about trust, it is also another measure of how far you have penetrated my submissive psyche and how deep your ownership of my psyche is...." Be good! www.missnamio.moonfruit.com |
