This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Thu 31 May 07, 12:42 AM northernwench 7 yrs |
This might be a ramble- so bear with me- Im not used to trying to ask a question I genuinely want answers to as opposed to just chuntering on aimlessly. Orgasm denial- for whatever period of time. I suppose in this instance I am thinking of hours and days as opposed to weeks and months. Much as I am extraordinarily fond of a good orgasm- perhaps more so than really a normal person should- I am masssively aroused and enjoy the joyous headfuck that is enforced abstinence. In fairness, Im talking about hours and days here- any longer and I the experience becomes extremely difficult for me. Some of this is bedded in the pleasure of anticipation and the joy of the build up. Almost like an elongated foreplay. If its denied, I become twice as excited, and can get drawn very quickly into a headspace where I am hypersensitive to everything, sound, touch, smell, taste. Things do get vaguely dreamlike; a bit ethereal, almost like a mild drug. I think that the basis of that feeling is the knowledge that as joyous as an orgasm is, it can be over with very quickly; and after that is a period of normality again, until the next time. However, waiting to come can be prolonged indefinitly- and the sweet sensation of the semi drowsy state of being hideously aroused is so delicious, it is enjoyable. The point I am trying to make, and what Im trying to ask is I suppose- if some of us experience this denial as such a pleasurable experience, how can that ever be a form of punishment (I hate that word-but not the concept). I understand keeping ones sub in a state of excitability to keep them on their toes, remind them that they are engaging in a d/s scene and that the power to decide to come is not theirs (hideously arousing in itself)- but when does the sensation of deliciousness trip over into the misery of not being able to orgasm? Have you ever tried to deprive someone of an orgasm only to find them grinning aimlessly for days? | |
| 31 May 07, 12:57 AM ToyGirl UK(BB), 6 yrs  |
I believe that you answered your own question retrospectively. If the experience is pleasurable for the duration you mentioned then perhaps an extended duration is whats needed. Some things become much more interesting when they stop being enjoyable or fun (in the most superficial senses of the words). tg x "Pain is just weakness leaving the body" | |
| 3 Jun 07, 3:31 AM missmeek UK(LN), 9 yrs  |
i enjoy orgasm denial (to a certain extent), but it's also been used very effectively as a punishment too. For me, whether orgasm denial is pleasurable or not comes down to the reason behind the denial. If i know i'm being denied because that's what my Dom wants and he enjoys it (and knows that i enjoy it too), then it's pleasurable for me - up to a certain point. If i know that my orgasm privileges have been withdrawn as a punishment, then it'll stick in my mind that it's a punishment, that i've disgraced myself in some way and have disappointed my Dom. i don't get any pleasure out of that; it's rather unpleasant. One problem (for me, at least) with using orgasm denial as both a pleasurable experience and a punishment is that, if the reason behind the denial isn't explicitly given, i can sometimes misinterpret it - mainly thinking it's a punishment when it wasn't intended to be. sj | |
| 3 Jun 07, 3:34 AM Tothaema 5 yrs |
Perhaps the same way that pain can be both - the greatest pleasure and the worst punishment...? Long live the Kink! | |
| 3 Jun 07, 10:45 AM XyIabion UK, 8 yrs |
The mindset behind it all is a key factor - as already said - whether it's known to be a punishment or simply extended 'foreplay'. If the former, then perhaps this is starvation of some kind. If the latter, then perhaps you're allowed the 'nibbles' without the square meal, in which case it would really depend on the form that those 'nibbles' took as to how satisfying the main meal became. It's amazing what Chefs can do with a few basic ingredients. Nothing is as down or as up, as us. |
