Protocol - The Japanese Approach (68)

I'm reminded of a workshop I did with a group of Japanese folks who came to SF to work on this project with us, called Beauty Engine. I was assigned to do a workshop on identity, where we made sock puppets to represent part of our identity. They had some difficulty with this, but once I had explained it, I noticed all of their sock puppet avatars had a lot to do with not who they were, but rather what they did for the community... not names as much as roles.

Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.

Assuming it was generally accepted, a new person comes along and needs to learn about dom/top/master, sub/slave/bottom, D/s vs M/s, etc AND what the numerous honorifics mean. Quite a task in itself! Add to that a single person being given a selection of honorifics by those around them and it becomes excruiatingly complex.

Take into account the British habit of forming cliques and general pisstaking and you have to remember what a number of people think of someone and work out an average. However you'd need to work out what each person was like before knowing how valid their opinion was and then weighting the average to take account of all that. And it gets more complicated too!

So outside of a small group, who all know each other, how useful will such a system be?

As I understand it, it's being proposed only for use in M/s so also runs the risk of appearing elitist. e.g. M/s is better than other kinks, so we have this special terminology. Which in turn may distance M/s from the rest of the BDSM community. Or at least the part of M/s that would sign up for it.

Sorry to be so negative, however apart from it being nice if people in general were more respectful, it does seem to be reinventing the wheel in order to fix something that isn't broken!

Agree with all the above, other than it's entirely up to an individual whether they wil show respect and courtesy or not. Then others can judge for themselves.

The honorifics, as discussed here and in the other thread referred to above would (I believe) tend to be used appropriately by those who chose to use them, simply because there is a sort of "prisoners' dilemma" element to them: You don't chose how you are called; others choose how to name you - therefore, you are less likely to pe perjorative or sarcastic.

As to "rigid" (or, at least, stiffish) protocols - yes please! If only because i think they are fun . But, you are are right - get hung up on them and they lose practical effectiveness.

Best to all,

BeLuS

Excrutiatingly complex - or seriosuly sophisticated? First, i think this has at least as much of a use online as it does at a munch etc (in fact more - other than possibly in conjunction with formal introductions - i can't see it getting used much at a munch). Online, examining a person's network would instantly reveal the people they regard as similar to themselves, those to which they regard themselves as having a duty of care, person's they regard as sources of knowledge or teachers: all of this information will give you a picture of the person themselves, as well as those in their network.

I agree - it isn't easy.

No. All that matters is what one individual thinks of another. it's not a statistical technique (remind me and I'll talk about my standard deviation another time ), it is only a measure of respect from one to another: "fussyone-kyoshi, meet betsyboo-chan" (fussyone, from whom I have had fun learning stuff, meet betsyboo toward whom I feel a duty of care)...

I think it would be at its most useful outside a small group who know eachother, because introductions of new people (or a peek at their network) would be far more informative than currently.

Good point: No intention to create an elite, or to demean or diminish anyone who shares not my kink. I think it can work for all, since it's merely about respect. However, i've always thought this has a snowball's chance of widespread acceptance and the reasons you give above are good ones.

I don't see your post as negative - it is appropriately challenging.

However, I do agree that it would be nice for more respect and courtesy to exist in life in general and the sometime absence of it in BDSM/D/s/M/s circles always upsets me: My personal view is that courtesy in interactions is often broken - and is fixable.

Best to you,

BeLuS

Edited 15 Aug 07, 1:37 PM by Belasarius

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/275326/

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
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It depends on the people, though. I would be likely to give more respect to a submissive who has been on the scene for 20 years than a D who tacked Master onto their name 20 minutes ago. Add the tendency for belittling and sniping and pissing contests and it sounds like more trouble than it is worth in a society, which frankly. is *not* based on respect as is the Japanese culture.

Within a Leather family, it would probably work - but not on the wider scene, I think.

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No, on the wider scene it would not work. Not a chance. Sad that. But that's the respect thing, I guess. I could moan on about people preferring rights to responsibilities these days =, but I won... Oops - I just did.

All it really requires is for a small band of people to believe it isn't silly and doesn't make them look silly to do it - and it might catch on amongst people who respect the views of others. If it proved useful it would stick. If it didn't it would die. And, I think it might just re-start a culture of respect for those who use it.

My goal - to save women from nature (Dior)
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99