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IC : Weblogs : DillyTante : "The Pourne Conspiracy."
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The Pourne Conspiracy. (21)
DillyTante's profile
Posted by DillyTante on Fri 25 May 07, 10:37 AM
Affectionately dedicated to those who ask why I don't write this sort of thing, those who do write this sort of thing and especially those few, who do it enviably well 
(The writer's thoughts and comments are in brackets.)
*
It was the middle of the night and she was roused from a sound sleep, by an unusual noise from downstairs.
(Wait! It's nearly always the middle-of-the-night. Why not make it mid-afternoon? She can be snoozing on the sofa. Although, why would she be dozing on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon? Ah hah! She could work night shifts as a ...as a...as a what? Hmm. On the other hand, the bed would be more comfortable...stop it! It doesn't matter. I'll leave it as the middle of the night. Try again...)
...she lay paralysed with fear, heart thudding as she heard him come up the stairs.
(Would she really just lie there though? Personally, I'd be looking around for something heavy with which to defend myself. Tch. On the other hand, how many women really have a baseball bat handy by the side of the bed? Not many, I bet. I don't and even if I did - which I wouldn't, I doubt I'd wallop someone with it. Actually, I think I'd be barricading the door instead. Blimey, this is difficult. I'll skip this bit, go directly to the ruderies and then work on a believable build up later.)
He slapped her hard across the face and she was pushed violently back onto the bed. His face cold (yes, yes, cold is good) he undid his belt and stepped out of his trousers. She gasped as she she registered his size. He was enormous!
“There's no way you're raping me with that thing,'” she observed practically. He looked down at the elephant's trunk which hung almost to his shins and agreed glumly.
(Tch... oh for ... now look what I've done. Avoid describing the penis. At best all it needs is largeness. Oh and an angry purple head. Keep the trousers on for the time being and focus on the action. Rewind...)
...his face cold, he took off his belt and swung it with calculated precision. It slashed with lightening speed and seared across her vulnerable exposed belly...
(That's a point. Is she naked? Or wearing something appropriately sexy? Although why would she be wearing something sexy in the middle of the night when she's sleeping on her own? Personally, I wear pyjamas and I'd defy Godzilla to get them off without some cooperation on my part. Although perhaps The Man could arrive equipped with scissors? No....too much of a faff...
Bugger. All right, I better centrally heat the house and make her naked. Mind you, I'd still probably be wearing pyjamas even with central heating. Oh for heaven's sake! Get on with it!)
The blows continued to rain down upon her large, soft vulnerable breasts and slender torso. Her world became a blur of relentless, blood red pain. She tried to turn, to protect herself, but sudden weight immobilised her. Warm breath suddenly in her face, a fistful of her long silky blond hair grasped painfully in his meaty hand...
(Meaty hand? Is he a butcher? Forget meaty)
..his large hand. “Please, please, don't...,” she pleaded horrified by her own body's betrayal. The moist ache between her legs; her hard nipples; the flush of terrified arousal on her pretty cheeks. Her sparkling eyes..
(Oops. Remember she's supposed to be torn with conflict here. No sparkling eyes and at some point I suppose I ought to clarify which cheeks are pink.)
...the flush of arousal. Swiftly, he flipped her over onto her face, tying her hands behind her back. Her back and buttocks were subjected to the same harsh assault as her breasts and belly. She could barely breath, let alone sob. Hard fingers invaded between her legs. Painfully, relentlessly reaming (oh yes, reaming is good, now we're cooking!) her defenceless body which to her shame, shuddered in rhythm with his vicious onslaught. Waves of pleasure convulsed her, as she orgasmed...
(Would 'came' read better there? Cumming? No I won't bloody use cum, I hate that spelling)
...as she orgasmed again and again and again...endlessly...to infinity and beyond...
(Um. Infinity and beyond was Buzz Lightyear wasn't it? Better change that...)
...orgasmed repeatedly.
She was still sobbing in pleasure and pain (hang on a minute, earlier I said that she could barely breath let alone sob. Gargh!)
...Still breathless, she gasped soundless sobs of pleasure and pain, as wrenched over onto her back once more, her mouth was forced open by his large, insistent, member...
(Member? Hmm. That looks a bit..)
...large insistent penis.
(Oh for heaven's sake)
...large insistent cock. She gagged as he pushed past her moist slack lips and thrust to the back of her throat. Involuntary tears gushed down her face in reflex.
(Sod! I forgot the purple head. Actually, I forgot the sodomy too. I'll have to go back and squeeze that in later.)
...his large cock, its angry head purple and swollen was pushed brutally past her lips and to the back of her throat, forcing her to gag. He fucked her mouth mercilessly, with hard and rhythmic thrusts...
(Should I have her throw up now? Hmm. Maybe not. Might be a bit controversial. Besides, if she's flat on her back, she might choke on her own vomit. Even if she didn't, it would go everywhere and cause a hell of a mess. Think of the satin – no - silk – no - satin sheets for heaven's sake. Keep it mean but clean.)
...he fucked her mouth hard and rhythmically, looking down at her beautiful fragile body. Entirely at his mercy. His to do with as he...
(Oh bollocks. This really isn't right. Where's the dialogue? He's not even called her a bitch yet for crying out loud. It's clichéd...derivative and just... just... crap! Why is this so difficult?)
(Mouse Click: Select: 'Save As: 'Pr0n Experiment. Version Three Hundred and Ninety-bloody-Two...' )
(I need more tea.)
*
The man stopped abruptly. He was balanced precariously on his knees at the head of the bed, overwhelmed by an inexplicably intense desire for a cup of tea. He looked down at the woman, her mouth still stretched peculiarly wide around his unnatural genital girth.
“What now?”, he asked rhetorically, eyebrows raised. Head pinned to the pillow by the man's groin, arms still bound behind her, the woman shrugged with difficulty.
“Shall we carry on do you think? Or should we take a break?” He interpreted her grunt to mean the latter and withdrew his large, angry, purple-headed penis as he remarked, “I quite fancy a cup of tea”
“I could do with a brandy” she remarked, rubbing her jaw and pulling a face to ease aching mouth muscles, “I think this might turn into a long night”.
With a wry smile, the man acknowledged the truth in her words as he untied her hands. As she sat up in bed and lit a cigarette she asked curiously, “Why is your penis purple and angry.”
He shrugged. “I'm not sure”, he replied, “it's been like that for a for a few days.”
He glanced at his lurid and annoyed genitals before explaining, “It started just after they cancelled Dr. Who in favour of the Eurovision Song Contest.
She nodded sympathetically and said, “Still, at least it's not down to your knees now.” The man chuckled as he padded towards the door.
“Oh! Can you feed the cat while you're down there?”. The man stopped and shot the woman a puzzled look.
“Do we have a cat?” he asked.
The woman blinked, temporarily confused. “I thought we did. Perhaps not. Oh.” Her face trailed off uncertainly.
“If we do have a cat, then I'll feed it” the man decided, before disappearing downstairs in search of a cat and brandy. Or perhaps a cat called Brandy. He might forget by the time he reached the kitchen.
Tired and a bit bored, the woman stubbed out her cigarette and dozed off to the sound of the man's plaintive calls for Brandy, coming from the direction of the kitchen downstairs.
*
It was the middle of the night. She was awoken from a deep sleep by an unusual noise...
Replies
25 May 07, 10:51 AM
Prunesquallor
UK, 3 yrs |
Brilliant! I am still laughing.  |
25 May 07, 10:57 AM
Bound_By_Mind
3 yrs |
Made me giggle.
MORE, MORE..... The only problem with being swept off your feet, is ending up on your arse.
Edited 25 May 07, 10:58 AM by Bound_By_Mind
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25 May 07, 10:59 AM
PFLsAgain
UK, 3 yrs
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You know I laughed out loud when I read that last night and it has just had exactly the same effect on me again.
That brightened my morning up and then some! "I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West)
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25 May 07, 11:04 AM
mroberts
UK, 2 yrs 
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25 May 07, 11:14 AM
Iona_O
UK(SS), 2 yrs 
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I thoroughly enjoy that kind of story but with the writer's perspective it was in a class of its own! I am now going to search your blog for any more such gems. More of the same please!
Is there a cat and does he fall over it on his way downstairs? lol I aim to please - and I'm pleased with my aim
A sub's trust is a valuable thing
Happiness is... hearing from someone special
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25 May 07, 11:15 AM
bohemian
4 yrs |
I knew there was a reason I liked you so much ya twit! Cracking read, as ever Ms Tante x All along the ancient wastes the thin reflections spin, that gather up the time and tide at once we loved within...
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25 May 07, 11:23 AM
playzone
UK, 2 yrs
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Brilliant  CMC Adverts FREE to use fetish classified site for new and used, buy, sell, swap or wanted items.
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25 May 07, 11:31 AM
MarcusStrapp
UK(CB), 4 yrs
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Perhaps it's not a conspiracy but constipation. I know I seem to be rather bunged up when it comes to fictional smut. I used to think that smut was all I could write, but then I discovered an awful truth, I had not been writing it at all, merely reporting it.
(Well I suppose as a poor state of affairs fares, it's one that has its benefits)
Now when I try to invent the filth, without the inspiration of that original sin (a woman), I tend to career off into hedgerows and gingerbread men. Funny old life.
This did brighten what is already a wonderfully sunny morning. Wonderful. Thank you. Conventional wisdom is often more about convention than wisdom.
-- Marcus Strapp
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25 May 07, 11:50 AM
lucky_1
UK, 3 yrs
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Superb Dilly.
xxx The more that pleasure turns into pain, the more inclined I am to stand and take it. Texas 2005
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25 May 07, 12:04 PM
candle_in_the_wind
UK, 2 yrs
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I am so wet between the legs now !
But I have to admit it is not arousal- it's because I PMSL
Fabulous. More please. x The Gene Pool could use a little Chlorine
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