Posted by MsArachne
on Tue 22 May 07, 4:22 AM to MsArachne's blog.
Several days ago I received a memo thanking me for the time I had shared with the sender and expressing appreciation for the part I played in helping him along his path. This may not seem like an extraordinary happening, but as this message was sent by someone with whom I have had no contact for several months and with whom my last prior communication had been less pleasant than I would have liked, his simple expression of gratitude genuinely touched my heart and in a very profound way at a time when I was feeling down.
Nor is this the first time he has given me something, unbeknownst to him and unlooked for and unexpected by me, that carried me through a difficult time. This is, in fact, the third time within a period of less than six months that he has touched my life and provided me with something that even I was unaware I needed .
The realization of the way Fate moves through our lives, gifting us with precisely what we need and when we least feel deserving of it, in the form of a very thoughtful gesture from someone who is, in many respects, a relative stranger to me, has caused me to reflect on the nature of gratitude and to question whether I have been as diligent in expressing my own gratitude as I should be.
Sadly, I have had to acknowledge that, though I generally endeavor to let those who are special to me know how much I appreciate them, twice within the past year I have not.
Eleven months ago, I was fortunate enough to experience a seemingly chance encounter with someone who was to change my life in ways I could not have imagined and, though my experience of this man was brief in comparison to other relationships, the affect has proven to be so far reaching that my current life bears no recognizable similarity to the life I led before I experienced him, nor am I the same person.
Unfortunately, my inability to communicate clearly enough my appreciation of and depth of feeling for this incredible human being caused him to feel that he was less in my esteem than he actually was and he chose to leave my life; a loss from which I still have not completely recovered and which I will not have an opportunity to set right.
Nor did I convey sufficiently to the sender of the memo that sparked this blog just how very much his words meant to me and how appreciative I was of the time and thought he took in writing. Yes, I did acknowledge it, but only just, and I certainly did not let him know how much it, and the time we shared, had meant to me.
Unlike the person who sent that memo and the person who had such a profound affect on my life last year, both of whom express without hesitation and give so freely of themselves, it has never been easy for me to express what is deepest in my heart.
I would like to change this about myself and so I say, openly and without hesitation, how very grateful I am to these two men who have added so much to my life, albeit in very different ways. To say that you have added to my life does not begin to convey the blessings you are to me and I am truly richer for having known you.
Thank you.
Edited Tue 22 May 07, 4:30 AM by MsArachne
| 22 May 07, 7:26 AM Maugrim 6 yrs |
Although I have no knowledge of the events and circumstances of which you write, the depth and beauty of that cannot help but move the heart. Too often we do not say what is in our hearts when we should, but recognise that is surely the first step to change. Kind Regards MsArachne, - M. |
| 25 May 07, 2:34 AM dante_soul 5 yrs |
Sometimes its hard to say what we feel, sometimes its hard to put into words what we feel then theres the other times where we dont know what we feel. Hind sight is a wierd thing, but you learnt from it. Youve likely become better for it  I dont want you to adore me, dont want you to ignore me when it pleases you, yeah i'll do it on my own |
