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| LadyEmmaCavendish |
I saw a post tonight on the web boards about potentially deleting old weblogs and I suddenly realised that I would be gutted if I lost mine and therefore I have started backing them up onto documents. (Please don't delete them until I have finished!) They tell the story of a very important part of my life. To read them back makes me happy and sad. Happy that I found what was missing in my life and sad that the newness, the freshness has gone. Some things still remain; the basic dress rules, though usually I choose my outfit within the rules. I still call Master "Master" or "Sir" but vanilla life also makes me have to call him by his first name. Sex is still obligatory, though I don't usually want to refuse. Masturbation...ok, so I cheat a little and take liberties by not asking. It's so hard when you live together and have been together for a while. The newness wears off. We still play with kinky friends and occasionally try new things e.g. recently we have dabbled in school days. I'd give anything to go back to those early days...
I'm currently in the process of arranging to meet another Dom, maybe this will assist with the fresh feeling I'm missing.
Master is forming a friendship with another woman who wants to dabble in BDSM. I like her, but I feel terribly jealous / envious(?) (I'm not sure which) of her and "them" experiencing all the things I once did.
C encouraged me to start writing again. Thank you. I should write more. It does me good, to talk from the heart. This post is not for comment, it's for me.
Edited Thu 3 May 07, 9:55 PM by LadyEmmaCavendish
