Posted by bethy4ever
on Sat 28 Apr 07, 12:23 AM to bethy4ever's blog.
It occurs to me that I just think and question too much, I can'ts relax and let things be, it's not in me. I'm thinking that it partly due to my parents pushing me so far to always become something yet when it was something like a performer they wouldn't push. They didn't understnd that was what I wanted to be and just felt it was a fools game.
And now, what am I? Directionless, lost, scared and fragile and wishing I knew answers but am really too young to be asking those questions. I don't want to be sad, I would rather be happy smiles to everyone. Sadness really seriously sucks. I want to stay young and cutesy and give people snuggles and attention and love. That's my biggest dream. Just to stay sweet. Never to have to worry or things cos there will be someone I can rely on, just to stay small and sweet and therefore happy.
I wish I could smile and take others problems away with a click of my fingers, make the world better. I'm guessing there a lot who wish that but it's what I really, really want with all my heart. That, and to be loved and taken care of and shown the path forwards.
| 28 Apr 07, 12:26 AM VanillaSwirl 5 yrs |
You need to love yourself first *hugs* | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 12:28 AM Kirati 8 yrs |
You are really so sweet beth, we all have our down day's and maybe one day you will find the happiness you look for, you certainly deserve it. Chin up babes xx | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 12:29 AM bethy4ever 8 yrs |
lol Vanilla, you never seen me offline, i'm butt ugly, lol, not mucht o love with my body. On steroids and I eat when depressed. LMFAO. Oh and drink. Uhhh three vodka and cokes, one tia maria and coke tonight. snugglebug | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 12:35 AM VanillaSwirl 5 yrs |
so? | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 1:01 AM Tantric_Pleasure 5 yrs £ |
bethy you are NOT butt ugly .... you are a lovely sweet pretty girl..yeah you can kick ass at times but so can everyone when they have to. You need to have a bit more faith in yourself..you are an indivdual...you are you and a good and loyal friend to many people. Any more of this butt ugly talk and Auntie Jan here is gonna be mighty cross with you. Hugggggggggggggggggs you lots and lots x x x
t_p x x | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 1:14 AM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
You're an adult. You're not too young to be asking the questions. Take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming your parents. Jesus. You want to be a performer? Then go out there and be one. Be willing to struggle and put the sacrifice it takes into being a success. And when it doesn't work out, you can at least say you tried your best and on your own merits. One answer for you is this - I can tell you that young, cutesy sweet snuggles don't get you anywhere in life and if anything tend to grate against those who fight for every success and luxury they have and are grateful for what they do have. So many children go through all kinds of crap to survive on a daily basis, they have enormous problems and dressing in a frilly dress and affecting a childish lisp doesn't get them what they need, nevermind what they want. X Factor? Fantastic! Why don't you take a walk down a few High Streets late at night and talk to some 12 year old child prostitutes and see if they have any sympathy for you? And then ask them what they like so much about being children? I hate this 'Oh I wish I were far away in a land of fluffy candy floss and floppy eared bunnies' crap that spills from the keyboards of adults who should know better. Get a grip and learn some gratitude for what you have. | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 1:41 AM faeryboi 6 yrs |
I am confused you want to ageplay your entire life ? resistance is futile........we are brats. | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 3:29 AM broken_angel1 6 yrs |
you make me feel better hun,thats one along the way,wish i could huggle your insecurities away but i know i cant, so i'll just huggle you. Hold that tear my dear, do not let it fall, lest it be the beginning of a flood! | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 3:46 AM broken_angel1 6 yrs |
So many children go through all kinds of crap to survive on a daily basis, they have enormous problems and dressing in a frilly dress and affecting a childish lisp doesn't get them what they need, nevermind what they want. X Factor? Fantastic! Why don't you take a walk down a few High Streets late at night and talk to some 12 year old child prostitutes and see if they have any sympathy for you? And then ask them what they like so much about being children? Been there done it wore the t-shirt and come out the other end quite well and successful enough.Doesnt mean a huggle or ten wont make me feel better coz coming from the right person it certainly does. Hun, we are all entitiled to dream of something better,Beth has done her bit to overcome her shit but we can all hold a dream be it unobtainable and out of reach. Simply having it there keeps the positive alive when life wants to shut it down around your ears.Perpetrators indeed have to be exposed,it is after all their negligence that induced the vulneralbilities although i agree its up to us to overcome this . But our dreams can be the only thing that carry us through the proverbial fan of excrement we know as reality . The eventual outcome is irrelevant. Don't kill our fairies babe - father christmas and the tooth fairy let a lot of us down, our dreams are all we have.
Hold that tear my dear, do not let it fall, lest it be the beginning of a flood! | ||
| 28 Apr 07, 10:34 AM Subfemmepet UK(NE), 6 yrs  |
The road, may be bumpy , but it still leads us to our destination. Love conquers all, and makes the heart come alive |
