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Taking her up the central passage (bridal porn) (15)

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Backdooruk

As Steven Fry would gladly inform you, brides do not walk up the aisle of a church (the aisles run along the side of the church). Instead they walk up the central passage. In any case, when star asked me to give her away at her wedding I felt equally happy to take her up either the aisle or the central passage.

These were the types of smutty musings that were to have featured in my father of the bride speech but were hastily dropped once we realised that (apart from us) it would be an entirely family affair. Even I, it seems, have to bow to the pressures of pleasing families at weddings. When Maugrim's best man (his brother) likened marriage to a fire that has to be kept attended to keep burning I almost gave in and shouted out "poke her"! But in the end I was good.

I discovered a few things about weddings though. I found out that hopespringseternal looks great in a dress. I discovered that women's wedding hats are functional (my head is bright red today; helen's is untouched despite all the time we spent in the sun). I discovered that it takes more than one standard church seats to seat a bride in that big a dress, but sitting on the remaining half seat is manageable - and I discovered that meeting me (apparently) is more scary than getting married!

At this point I shall blame either catching the sun or being on my feet all day or the rubbish pouring from my mouth in the evening. That's my excuse for my confession for a love of bridal porn and I'm sticking to it. But at least I didn't take up one particular Dom's suggestion that I assert rights of droit de Signor with star… (I'll leave it up to the reader to guess who might have suggested that).

But now I'm rambling. Or maybe it's just that romance and sex go hand in hand for me, and yesterday was very romantic. In any case a hearty congratulations to the happy couple and well done all those who made the day special for them.

- Chris

Replies

21 Apr 07, 7:19 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs	Backdooruk wrote: As Steven Fry would gladly inform you, brides do not walk up the aisle of a church (the aisles run along the side of the church). Instead they walk up the central passage. It's called the nave. The "central passage" has a different significance for brides. BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. "There ain't no Sanity Clause", the Marx Bros.
21 Apr 07, 8:07 PM Maugrim 6 yrs	And we were getting on so well....! None of that Prima Nocte rubbish here please! - M. Backdooruk wrote: ...But at least I didn't take up one particular Dom's suggestion that I assert rights of droit de Signor with star…
21 Apr 07, 8:20 PM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs	Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris "I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter." - Blaise Pascal
21 Apr 07, 8:39 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs	Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. "There ain't no Sanity Clause", the Marx Bros. Edited 21 Apr 07, 8:41 PM by Insistor
21 Apr 07, 8:52 PM LisaLJ UK(DY), 6 yrs	Insistor wrote: Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. Actually, from doing some online research (cos it's all correct there ) it does appear that the nave can be attributed to the central passage in a church, especially when there are no "aisles" running down the two sides or in fact there is a central walkway (passage).
21 Apr 07, 8:58 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs	LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. Actually, from doing some online research (cos it's all correct there ) it does appear that the nave can be attributed to the central passage in a church, especially when there are no "aisles" running down the two sides or in fact there is a central walkway (passage). I prefer cathedral naves empty of pews (and christians) they only get in the way of us sightseers. BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. "There ain't no Sanity Clause", the Marx Bros. Edited 21 Apr 07, 8:59 PM by Insistor
21 Apr 07, 8:59 PM LisaLJ UK(DY), 6 yrs	Insistor wrote: LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. Actually, from doing some online research (cos it's all correct there ) it does appear that the nave can be attributed to the central passage in a church, especially when there are no "aisles" running down the two sides or in fact there is a central walkway (passage). I prefer cathedral naves empty of pews (and christians) they only get in the way of us sightseers. What I want to know is where do the lions sit?
21 Apr 07, 9:01 PM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs	LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. Actually, from doing some online research (cos it's all correct there ) it does appear that the nave can be attributed to the central passage in a church, especially when there are no "aisles" running down the two sides or in fact there is a central walkway (passage). I prefer cathedral naves empty of pews (and christians) they only get in the way of us sightseers. What I want to know is where do the lions sit? anywhere they like !! BDSM: Boring, Dumb, Sad, Motherfuckers. "There ain't no Sanity Clause", the Marx Bros.
21 Apr 07, 9:03 PM LisaLJ UK(DY), 6 yrs	Insistor wrote: LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: LisaLJ wrote: Insistor wrote: Backdooruk wrote: Insistor wrote: It's called the nave. The nave is the central part of a church including all the seating: It doesn't describe the central passage through the nave which is only ever called the cenral passage. - Chris You're right. Sorry, I haven't spent much time in churches. A bit more in central passages, admittedly. Actually, from doing some online research (cos it's all correct there ) it does appear that the nave can be attributed to the central passage in a church, especially when there are no "aisles" running down the two sides or in fact there is a central walkway (passage). I prefer cathedral naves empty of pews (and christians) they only get in the way of us sightseers. What I want to know is where do the lions sit? anywhere they like !! [/] Even in the font? Heaven forbid!
21 Apr 07, 9:47 PM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs	*sigh* It makes me wish I'd taken her up the apse instead... - Chris "I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter." - Blaise Pascal

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