Posted by northernwench on Wed 4 Apr 07, 10:31 AM to northernwench's blog.
For reasons that I won't go into spent yesterday afternoon high as a kite on Pethidine and Hypnoval.
On my return to the house I attempted to lavish affection on my cats who were distinctly unimpressed with the smell of freshly drugged parent and backed off with their claws outstretched hissing manically. They looked even more perplexed when instead I found new found delights in the appearance of my art deco lampshades
'Oh wow...youre so...curved yet linear and functional, give me a hug' (stroked mahogany base of lamp)
Following an episode of post Pethidine munchies and a fried egg tower sandwich later they did however find it in their hearts to lick the dribbling egg yolk from my chin as I slumbered on the couch. Mercenary? Them? Never!
An early night beckoned and I was horizontal from an early hour, on awakening this morning it is difficult to work out what exactly has occured whilst I was in the upper quarters of the house. The phone is off the hook, a pawprint on the receiver. Did the cats make a frantic call to Esther Rantzens 'Catline' bemoaning the fact that they were having to make their own entertainment whilst their owner smiled at the wallpaper upstairs?
The back door and windows were wide open when I awoke. I have a vague memory of opening them to let the beasts roam but closing them again is a memory I dont have. They have engaged in a little feng shui, bringing the contents of the garden inside and the contents of the house outside. The kitchen floor is a crunchy bed of leaves, plant cuttings and soil, it was a little like waking up to find Central Park in your house. No rollerbladers but Im sure they probably rolled off before I awoke. Outside, the washing from the clothes horse has been lovingly dragged into the soil and trampled on, chewed and left in the drain. This may be some experiment in how powerful my washing powder is. I await a man in a white coat popping his head through the letterbox with some powder that will get EVERY kind of stain out of my laundry at LOW LOW temperatures, whilst slipping the cats a fiver. Oh yes I see whats happened now.I'm not stupid.
Meanwhile the cat biscuit box has mysteriously been emptied. On its side it lies, devoid of contents, and the cat poo has an oddly crunchy consistency. I look at the cats, and at the box, and then back at them, and they look at me saying can we have some biscuits please? Well no, you can't, I said. As you've already eaten them, like.
They put their paws on their hips and look offended.
US? Eat the......well, we never, we've never BEEN so offended. And off they trot to have another crunchy chewy shit. If I was feeling that way out I would dissect their poo in front of them and say look, LOOK, here lieth biscuits, you eejits.
Anyhow, can't stop. Have house to clean. Have traces of cat misbehaviour to cover up. Have cat biscuits to buy. Have washing to wash at low low temperatures.
Thank gawd for the pending weekend with a sensible woman, sensible dog and no need to keep anything locked up behind iron bars. (Note to Mel: doing that to me optional, obviously)
| 4 Apr 07, 10:57 AM houndofhades UK, 5 yrs  |
Being the often harassed owner of there little kitties, one named vlad for very apt reasons i almost ended my self with the dicription of crunchy cat poo... So reminded of a couple of christmases ago when the tree was suddenly devoid of tinsel and the cats looked all sweet and innocent despite the very sparkly poop in the litter tray for the following week.... Brilliant... you need to love cats!! "sweet and kinky......" | |
| 4 Apr 07, 10:59 AM x_Raven_x UK(CR), 6 yrs |
and I thought I had problems this morning when getting up still half asleep with the intention of just emptying the full bladder before crawling back into my pit. The smell hit me as I opened the bedroom door, always closed now due to Daisy preferring the duvet to poop on occasionally. Loo visit made then check on cat loo whilst up, by the roast what a pile of sloppy poop lay in wait for me. Ok in the right place, no problem just smell, unfortunately poor old Jimbo had carried half of it out on his tail and I didn't suss this immediately. Not until he had his morning stroke from head to tail and my hand came away from him covered, yuck! He'd also left a trail through to the living room and on the sofa throw, great, washing machine, disinfected floor, trying to convince the big boy to stand still so I could clean his tail and several hand washes later the place was cleaner and smelling sweeter. Had I known he was desperate to make a second visit but couldn't due to hiding because the cleaning monsters were out an about I'd have waited. So after his second very smelly visit to the loo, whilst I was in the bath cleaning me, I started all over again, not quite so intense this time but back breaking enough.
Cats hey, you've gotta love 'em Pervs of the leather flog together | |
| 4 Apr 07, 11:00 AM MissyG UK(MK), 8 yrs  |
maybe they didn't eat the cat biscuits...maybe you did in your munchy frenzy...
[quote]-:|:-My Website-:|:-London Munch-:|:-LondonAlternativeMarket-:|:-Artisian- :|:-[/quote] | |
| 4 Apr 07, 11:18 AM Mel_SnM UK(BA), 7 yrs |
lol at sensible woman.. oh dear.. | |
| 4 Apr 07, 11:23 AM northernwench 7 yrs |
Being sensible is optional, obviously
(Please tell me I'm right) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5dMRkkLq0 Edited 4 Apr 07, 11:36 AM by northernwench | |
| 4 Apr 07, 5:58 PM Blubell UK(PH), 6 yrs |
Sorry, I am giggling at this as I reply. It sounds like you have more fun high than I do once I've been to the dentist  Glad they didnt get to more than the biscuits, the garden and the washing... Oh my! Hope your weekend is better Blu x
(edited to add, Im not saying a dentist is responsible for your erm day yesterday but thats the way they get Me Always smile, give everyone something to wonder about Edited 4 Apr 07, 6:00 PM by Blubell | |
| 4 Apr 07, 8:13 PM pam_minxy UK, 9 yrs  |
ahahhahahahahaah but oh boy does it make me realise how much i miss my cats - and other irritations we must be masochists We have to accept other people's "imperfections" if we want them to accept ours |
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