Posted by northernwench on Tue 27 Mar 07, 10:12 PM to northernwench's blog.
Way hey, thought I last night, a Baz task sent from a few thousand miles away. Was I up for it? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is the bear a catholic?
Got instructions, check. Got outfit. Got accompanying appendages and insertables. Got filthy mind. Got wooden bedroom floor and a real fire in there too. Perfect.
Five minutes in, feline intervention in the form of cat batting breast pegs with interested paw.
'For fucks.....' stagger to feet in heels, lift felines and hurl them diplomatically onto landing.
Try again. Glorious images of very bad things swelling through my head. Thoughts of whips and stocks and woodland at dusk, of naked flesh with glowing welts, of Rita Fairclough pouring out aniseed balls.... eh???? Open eyes to sound of next doors deaf neighbour turning Coronation Street to a volume that Icelandic fisherman can hear.
Fucks sake!
Knuckle down woman, come on, you're horny as a toad, you're not going to let a silly thing like the raising horn section of a northern based soap opera distract you.
Cracking on and to an inevitable conclusion I leant forward in some considerable delight, only to kneel all my weight onto an upturned nail on the floorboard as it sunk effortlessly into my patella.
Falling sideways in agony I also managed to rip a hole the size of a dinner plate into my beautiful new fishnets.
And there I lay, the battle of wounded knee well and truly over, panting and rocking my injury, looking like an extra from Cabaret who has wandered into the Gaza strip.
At the door I could hear the cats assembling semtex to blow the door off its hinges, and somewhere, somewhere, I swear I could hear that dom of mine snickering his bloody head off.
| 27 Mar 07, 10:15 PM Mel_SnM UK(BA), 7 yrs |
the female one chortled too lol
self piercing of the kneecap - theres a new one! | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:38 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
Im checking aaaaaaaaaaallll your floors at Easter! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5dMRkkLq0 | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:41 PM Elvenkind 7 yrs  |
You should've put some headphones on and listened to Portishead instead. Do you have headphones that stretch that far?? Horny thoughts arwen xxx
a 4 foot, 11 and 3/4 inch elf. | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:42 PM lucky_1 7 yrs |
I have a spare hammer, perhaps I should bring it over? and no I don't mean to sort out the cats with it! The more that pleasure turns into pain, the more inclined I am to stand and take it. Texas 2005 | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:45 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
I hear what you're saying arwen but to ruin the entire look with an IPOD nano....its just not right!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5dMRkkLq0 | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:47 PM MLeigh UK(CF), 7 yrs £ |
PMSL xxx I go to the Cardiff munch, | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:47 PM Elvenkind 7 yrs |
are you willing to disclose the " look" you were trying to achieve?? Hehe arwen xxx a 4 foot, 11 and 3/4 inch elf. | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:48 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
pic coming to your memo box! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5dMRkkLq0 | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:56 PM Elvenkind 7 yrs |
Jesus christ wenchy, taking fashion tips from Edna, fabulous..lol arwen xxx a 4 foot, 11 and 3/4 inch elf. | |
| 27 Mar 07, 10:58 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab5dMRkkLq0 |
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