26 Mar 07, 5:40 PM
Kitti_Whitaker
5 yrs
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A bad marriage is!
Or a good marriage that turns into a bad one over the years but the kids and "duty" locks one in.
FD in a BDSM context is agreed upon beforehand!
Bubbles_2 wrote:
fireglow wrote:
May I ask a question too please, whilst people are answering the OP?. Is FD something which only male subs do with Dommes or do some female subs ever do it with their male Doms?
fg x
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Is marriage a form of Financial Domination?
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Edited 26 Mar 07, 5:41 PM by Kitti_Whitaker
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26 Mar 07, 5:42 PM
MisterBear
UK(WA), 8 yrs
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mq1965 wrote:
I don't see why financial dommes should be involved in any other sort of pro-domming if FD is their thing. Yes, it's easy money and maybe greedy, but then that is part of the thrill of it for the financial slave - the being taken advantage of. The most successful financial dommes seem to be the ones who emphasise exactly that point, and make it clear that they are laughing at the slave. However I think there aren't that many financial slaves around so unless you are lucky and hit a really wealthy one you are probably only going to be able to use your financial slaves as a useful top up to some other income, whether from pro-domming or a normal job.
And wealth doesn't have to play a part. The guy I quoted above claimed that he was on a very moderate income - it was the fact that he was being pushed to the limit that gave him the thrill. So there's hope for you yet BB!
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I wasn't talking about pro-domming, I was just talking about any other aspects of BDSM. But I understand your point, it's just a single kink they are interested in.
I guess it's the laughing at/humiliation side of it I don't understand because it's just one of those things I'm not interested in, at least not when I've just lost some money. And also on the money side I won't go to a Pro-Domme because paying for services doesn't work for me mentally. Although if in a relationship to the point where we are happy together and see a long future ahead then I'd give up financial control then and would probably like that kind of control. But at the moment I'm too much of a control freak. Furry on the outside, Fluffy on the inside.
ARMADILLOS,
Bad Taste Bears, Liverpool Munch
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26 Mar 07, 5:48 PM
Kitti_Whitaker
5 yrs
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Well I have read it somewhere that 70% of money is earned by men but spent by women, so even in vanilla, there appears to be a natural form of "financial domination".
Just as long as no one is USED and feels like a meal ticket, I am fine with that.
BondageBear wrote:
mq1965 wrote:
I don't see why financial dommes should be involved in any other sort of pro-domming if FD is their thing. Yes, it's easy money and maybe greedy, but then that is part of the thrill of it for the financial slave - the being taken advantage of. The most successful financial dommes seem to be the ones who emphasise exactly that point, and make it clear that they are laughing at the slave. However I think there aren't that many financial slaves around so unless you are lucky and hit a really wealthy one you are probably only going to be able to use your financial slaves as a useful top up to some other income, whether from pro-domming or a normal job.
And wealth doesn't have to play a part. The guy I quoted above claimed that he was on a very moderate income - it was the fact that he was being pushed to the limit that gave him the thrill. So there's hope for you yet BB!
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I wasn't talking about pro-domming, I was just talking about any other aspects of BDSM. But I understand your point, it's just a single kink they are interested in.
I guess it's the laughing at/humiliation side of it I don't understand because it's just one of those things I'm not interested in, at least not when I've just lost some money. And also on the money side I won't go to a Pro-Domme because paying for services doesn't work for me mentally. Although if in a relationship to the point where we are happy together and see a long future ahead then I'd give up financial control then and would probably like that kind of control. But at the moment I'm too much of a control freak.
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26 Mar 07, 5:54 PM
hopespringseternal
5 yrs
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mq1965 wrote:
hopespringseternal wrote:
I've never understood financial domination and why anyone would just give all their money away for nothing.
It'll no doubt make me unpopular (again!) but i also can't get my head round those Dommes who think that it's their right to simply be given money.
I have in mind a particular Domme i knew who was quite happy emptying the bank account of a dying man. The whole thing, i thought, was sleazy and indefensible.
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I guess like any sort of domination it is a matter of common sense and moderation.
There are many people on this site who will say they have given total control to their master/mistress and will do anything they say, but not many of them would actually jump off a cliff if asked to do so. The point is they have chosen their master/mistress on the basis of trusting them not to go too far.
Similarly a good Financial Dominant will know just how far they can push things. They may threaten to go further and push boundaries, just as any good dominant does in a more conventional field, but they will know when to stop.
Presumably as with other sorts of Dominants there will be bad ones who don't understand where the boundaries should be and will go too far some times, then it becomes abuse just as it would be if you went past your 'normal' sub's limits.
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If a financial dominant's only interest is in getting money for nowt, then where are the boundaries? Wanting money for nothing is greed as well as arrogance, in my opinion. No morals and no scruples.
"shake my body release my soul punish my senses lose control"
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26 Mar 07, 6:03 PM
mq1965
UK(DA), 8 yrs
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hopespringseternal wrote:
If a financial dominant's only interest is in getting money for nowt, then where are the boundaries? Wanting money for nothing is greed as well as arrogance, in my opinion. No morals and no scruples.
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That might be true if all they were doing was taking as much money as they could get. No doubt there are some out there who are trying to do it for that reason. But then there are some pro-Dommes out there who believe all they have to do is bend someone over and cane them to earn their money. To be honest I doubt such people would stay in business for long.
For someone who actually has the kink it will be about much more than that. It will include the gloating and piss taking of the victim and the teasing and pushing them. These are the ones who will be able to make it work because they will hit the sub's buttons. I don't see them as being any more unscrupulous than any other form of Domme. Most people in the vanilla world would have trouble understanding submission in general and see it as giving something for nothing. We know there is much more to it than that, and I don't see FD as being any different. |
26 Mar 07, 6:07 PM
sardax
UK, 6 yrs
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mq1965 wrote:
Presumably as with other sorts of Dominants there will be bad ones who don't understand where the boundaries should be and will go too far some times, then it becomes abuse just as it would be if you went past your 'normal' sub's limits.
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There will be many who imagine it is just a quick earner-judging by the exponentional explosion of findom in the past few years- but it not only the submissive that needs to exercise care in choosing a partner in this game.
It's not quite as easy money as it looks ; there can be a neediness for attention from the sub involved which can easily flip into a dangerous dependency if not correctly managed and this is part of the element of risk that a financial domme takes on.
I heard of one client who flipped from being a gentle soul to a very threatening so-and-so when he learnt that "his " money was going not just to his Mistress but to support her family too.
Duh, if he'd thought it through, his fantasy Mistress might not have had so much attraction after all.
In a commercial society giving money comes rarely without strings and much as the sub may protest that the gift is given freely, in fact there is usually an unspoken assumption of something requested. If both parties are clear about what is assumed it can work, then it's pleasure for both-but it's choppy waters.
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26 Mar 07, 6:07 PM
bifunfella
5 yrs |
My finances are usually quite stretched and so the idea of giving money to a dom/me would make me quite angry! I'm usually quite a subby mellow person, but I need a high level of control over my money, if anyone is going to waste my money, it'll be me! |
26 Mar 07, 6:14 PM
Deviant_Bitch
UK(G), 6 yrs
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Why are so many people knocking what is someone elses kink? I can understand the reasoning for men doing this as I have had many a long chat with FS about their reasons and what they get out of it.
However, I am not here to defend their views merely to say if it is not for you then you dont have to worry no-one is going to come along and make you do it. It is something that you either do or you dont.
Alot of subs enjoy helping out their Domme this could be seen as FS or it could be a nice gesture? Glasgow coffee club, coming to save you from the boredom of mills and boon.
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26 Mar 07, 6:33 PM
hopespringseternal
5 yrs
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mq1965 wrote:
hopespringseternal wrote:
If a financial dominant's only interest is in getting money for nowt, then where are the boundaries? Wanting money for nothing is greed as well as arrogance, in my opinion. No morals and no scruples.
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That might be true if all they were doing was taking as much money as they could get. No doubt there are some out there who are trying to do it for that reason. But then there are some pro-Dommes out there who believe all they have to do is bend someone over and cane them to earn their money. To be honest I doubt such people would stay in business for long.
For someone who actually has the kink it will be about much more than that. It will include the gloating and piss taking of the victim and the teasing and pushing them. These are the ones who will be able to make it work because they will hit the sub's buttons. I don't see them as being any more unscrupulous than any other form of Domme. Most people in the vanilla world would have trouble understanding submission in general and see it as giving something for nothing. We know there is much more to it than that, and I don't see FD as being any different.
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I am talking of the totally unscrupulous Dommes that i know who will happily leave a guy destitute on the street rather than say "no, don't leave yourself with nothing, you owe me nowt." The ones who, as alluded to previously, very oddly think that emptying bank accounts and doing what amounts (in my opinion) to stealing is just their right. Those Dommes who tell the poor sod that they *need* the money much more than he does, and then go off and laugh to their friends about how cool it is getting money for nothing. Shoot them.
"shake my body release my soul punish my senses lose control"
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26 Mar 07, 6:37 PM
RavenMuse
5 yrs |
hopespringseternal wrote:
I am talking of the totally unscrupulous Dommes that i know who will happily leave a guy destitute on the street rather than say "no, don't leave yourself with nothing, you owe me nowt." The ones who, as alluded to previously, very oddly think that emptying bank accounts and doing what amounts (in my opinion) to stealing is just their right. Those Dommes who tell the poor sod that they *need* the money much more than he does, and then go off and laugh to their friends about how cool it is getting money for nothing. Shoot them. |
On the other side of that though, as the old adage puts it...
"A fool and his money are soon parted" Unlike other situations where subs (or even Doms) get ripped off by deception. The one thing I will say sort of "In favour" of FD is that it does exactly what it says on the tin. The Domme is saying "OK cash pig, give Me your money and I'll go enjoy Myself with it"... and she does.
Not something I'd be comfortable with but.... |
