Understanding Financial Domination?!?! (86)

You'll find that Financial Domination is fairly rare and also misunderstood. Most seem to see it as a rip off by a Domme who just wants easy money. Personally, despite being basically a Dom myself and one who would never consider submitting to financial domination, I have still found it a fascinating subject. (Actually I find pretty much every aspect of BDSM fascinating even though there are quite a few things I have no desire to try.)

One of the things that does fascinate me is that it seems to be about the most misunderstood aspect of BDSM, as I said above. Several times we've had threads about it, and all the responses have been very negative, just assuming it's a rip off.

Hence I don't think you'll find many people on here able to give you advice on it, though I have spoken to at least one Domme who does have an interest and there are quite a few more who advertise it. I did once come across an American site on the subject where someone who was a financial sub had written an excellent defence of it, explaining very literately and eloquently the thrill that he got from it.

For him it was about the risk. He gave his 'mistress' a credit card on his account. She knew his circumstances and how much he could afford, but occasionally she would push the limits a bit. There was for him a huge thrill in opening his bill every month, with trepidation not knowing what she would have spent, trying to work out what he could do without in the months she had 'overspent'. There was also the thrill of humiliation form having to do without luxuries knowing that she was enjoying herself with his money, spending it on pleasing herself.

Clearly its not for everyone, but to me the essence of it seems to be very much the same as most submission - self-sacrifice to please somneone else, which is why I can't see why people can't understand it. I suppose the impersonal nature of it, the fact that there is not necessarily any personal contact makes people see it as a rip off...but then if what you want is to pay someone money in return for nothing but being laughed at it is hard to see how you can be ripped off.

As to exactly how you do it and the set amounts I guess that will vary from person to person. As far as I can tell arrangements like that I described are rare, more commonly financial slaves directly pay for certain items or give certain agreed amounts every month, rather than effectively trusting the Mistress with the ability to spend whatever she wants. One addition for some is the blackmail element, where the sub gives the mistress personal details or incriminating photographs, and the name/addresses of family, colleagues or friends to give them to if they fail to pay. Takes a great deal of trust - but then doesn't all submission?

~Considers offering FD.~

C x

We do these things because we like them; at some level they bring pleasure.

Everyone is free to say, "I quit". Simply because they don't want to play that game anymore.

Perhaps I don't relate to your comment because I haven't played as seriously as you have. It all comes back to enjoyable fun for me. If I'm not enjoying it, I stop. OR look for ways to change the game so it is enjoyable.

No - you are right, you've simply expressed it better than I did

Wild or Wanton are you?

Lol... That makes two of us then, any more?

C x

I've no problem with people wanting to give their money over to someone else. It's their money and they can do with it what they want. I don't have a problem with Dommes who have people willing to give them money. It's your kink enjoy it.

A lot of what makes me look negatively on it is the way some Financial Dommes advertise for such services. They tend to heavily concentrate on the financial side of things and either don't bother with any other areas of BDSM or if they do then they don't put as much effort into advertising the other activities. If they had a list of various activities and FD was in amongst it as though it was something they can do but isn't a necessary part of their lives then fine. Plus I find the term Financial Domme tends to stress the money side of things again. So it's not the activity that I see negatively, it's the way some people go about it that just looks crude and greedy. Maybe some of the money should go into PR?

Still I'm usually skint so I can't really do financial stuff, least not the side that involves me giving up money. So maybe I'm just jealous of those who have the money to spare on such things.

Oh and apologies for just using Domme above, but I can't recall ever coming across a Financial Dom although there maybe some out there.

Furry on the outside, Fluffy on the inside.
ARMADILLOS, Bad Taste Bears, Liverpool Munch

It'll no doubt make me unpopular (again!) but i also can't get my head round those Dommes who think that it's their right to simply be given money.

I have in mind a particular Domme i knew who was quite happy emptying the bank account of a dying man. The whole thing, i thought, was sleazy and indefensible.

"shake my body release my soul punish my senses lose control"

I don't see why financial dommes should be involved in any other sort of pro-domming if FD is their thing. Yes, it's easy money and maybe greedy, but then that is part of the thrill of it for the financial slave - the being taken advantage of. The most successful financial dommes seem to be the ones who emphasise exactly that point, and make it clear that they are laughing at the slave. However I think there aren't that many financial slaves around so unless you are lucky and hit a really wealthy one you are probably only going to be able to use your financial slaves as a useful top up to some other income, whether from pro-domming or a normal job.

And wealth doesn't have to play a part. The guy I quoted above claimed that he was on a very moderate income - it was the fact that he was being pushed to the limit that gave him the thrill. So there's hope for you yet BB!

I guess like any sort of domination it is a matter of common sense and moderation.

There are many people on this site who will say they have given total control to their master/mistress and will do anything they say, but not many of them would actually jump off a cliff if asked to do so. The point is they have chosen their master/mistress on the basis of trusting them not to go too far.

Similarly a good Financial Dominant will know just how far they can push things. They may threaten to go further and push boundaries, just as any good dominant does in a more conventional field, but they will know when to stop.

Presumably as with other sorts of Dominants there will be bad ones who don't understand where the boundaries should be and will go too far some times, then it becomes abuse just as it would be if you went past your 'normal' sub's limits.