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| firemynx_B |
on Sat 4 Oct 03, 1:51 AM to firemynx_B's blog.
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
The last week has been hard all around, I've felt a lil bit useless in a situation, even though I know I haven't been, and I know I have been a good and supportive friend and partner to several people. It's been said I have kept someone sane, which is quite amusing really, knowing how I was a few months back, I would have considered keeping myself sane was virtually impossible. Yet now, I'm graced with that honour, that compliment, what higher compliment could have been paid to me than that? I am growing, slowly, opening up like a flower in spring, casting myself towards the sun, and hoping that there is shade to stop me from being burned. Do I fear being burned again? No …. The rejection issues are starting to fade. Constant reassurance, affection and love have got me to this stage. I thank Him. With all my heart.
I did something difficult today, I vented (in a positive way) in email. I was told to, I was told to get out everything I was feeling, that worried me, made me feel uncomfortable. And I did, everything, the whole damned lot. How did I feel? Scared, relieved, worried. And the words that came back “I'm so proud of you”, that just made my heart burst with happiness. Those simple words made such a difference from “Sorry this isn't working anymore”. Now can you see why I'm growing? Why I'm opening up, why i'm leaving behind my fears?
I'm happy, in myself, leaving behind all the other
wonderful things, I'm happy with me, the way my life is
progressing and the choices that are being made (for
me, by me, whatever). I can't ask anymore out of life
at the moment, except for happiness, peace and love for
those around me, those people who have walked the
sometimes hard and unstable road with me, those who
have stuck by me, those who are still with me now. For
the others …. Heck, you're missing out on the fun parts
now, I'm healing, and i'm back …. No, not quite
accurate, I'm very different, much better, much more
enlightened. I have looked at the world with new eyes,
colours are more vibrant, sounds are much clearer,
songs much more meaningful. 
May you all be as happy as I am, not a gloat, a wish
Edited Sat 4 Oct 03, 2:26 AM by firemynx_B
