 |
| firemynx_B |
on Mon 1 Sep 03, 6:45 PM to firemynx_B's blog.
Well the weekend was quite sedate actually, and gave me time to think about where I want to go with my life. Both scene and un-scene (which is a little more important to me right now).
I've had 4 hard decisions to make lately:
One of them was what to have for lunch LOL. No seriously
I've ended one relationship, for everyone's sake, it wasn't easy, but being in it wasn't right either, even though the play is good, sometimes there is just more to it than just play yknow?
The other decision was to take a back seat with a friend, to give him a chance to make things work with someone he's talking to, again hard, but necessary.
One was to review on my switch side, and currently it's not that important, im happy focussing on me, and my needs right now, even though I had someone pushing really hard for play. I like them as a friend, as a play partner no, there has to be more there than just play interest, you can only play so much you know!
And last by no means least, asking someone what ive wanted to ask for a long time, this was hard, because I realise through no fault of their own, that I stood to feel rejection if he said no. But when it comes down to it, it had to be asked, cos I have feelings and have to be honest about them.
I'm being all mysterious aren't I, good, I do this blog for me, not for general gossip <Grin>
Saturday was relaxed, I chilled out and did very
little, mainly cos I couldn't be arse doing much, Im
trying to recharge my batteries from illness, but I was
restless and narky too. Was it lack of play? No I
don't think so, its cos I had these 4 things on my mind
and knew I had to be all adult and have a conscience
about them. Yes ive had a conscience before, but I am
strong in doing what is right for everyone involved
now, not just the 2 people, sometimes being all grown
up, sucks! Big time 
Sunday I woke up about 12ish (I hate a majorly late
night), got a text from P, did I want to go shopping to
IKEA, dammit he knows how to indulge my fetishes. So
we spent a great afternoon talking, being a sounding
board for each other and shopping, I had the intentions
of buying very little and spent 3 times as much as
him! Its all your fault Patrician, you know I have no
self-control with stuff like that
So all in all, even though the weekend was hard, the
shopping finished it off nicely. This week I intend
going the cinema with a friend, and maybe try and fit
10 pin bowling in too. I think were due at a limp
bizkit concert on Saturday whoohoo! Heck, I'll be
getting called a nilla soon, cos my god, I've not been
a club for whooo blimey, must be 6 weeks <grin>, do I
feel a need to? No, at present 
Edited Mon 1 Sep 03, 6:47 PM by firemynx_B
