Posted by bethy4ever
on Thu 15 Feb 07, 9:25 PM to bethy4ever's blog.
Is it possible for a relationship ie. Dom/ sub to be intimate, close and touchy feely without being overly sexual? What I mean is with all my issues against sex I still want a close and intimate Dominant who can hold me secure. Intimacy to me means safety and security and I believe it to be more fundamental than sex drive in a relationship. If a couple desire being close to each other and not just sex, surely their relationship can last longer? It's a bit difficult for me to work out where I stand with regards to sex except having a tendency to hate the type of men who think through their penises and aren't sensitive to the needs of women. The ones who tend to be more effeminate and understand our needs often unfortunately turn out gay. One final thought. I find that the prospect of doing blowjobs is what prevents me from becoming an adult. Yet I can not tell where the hatred and fear of them comes from. I feel sure it is related to something psychological, and perhaps primal in me but that's as far as I understand it. Oh gawd, why do I have so many issues????
| 16 Feb 07, 12:09 PM GazUK1963 UK(B), 6 yrs  |
Your view of men seems very stereotypical. There are many straight men who are sensitive, loving and still enjoy sex. There are men who fall into the stereotypes that you describe, but many more who do not. You can have a caring, tender BDSM or D/s relationship without sex. I know of many. If you really want to take a relationship to its ultimate though, it will almost certainly become sexual. If you find the right person, and when the time is right, you will overcome your issues and you will want this to happen. Just one more thing; there is no such thing as a static relationship, not matter how much people may think that their relation ship is static. People are constantly changing, growing, evolving. Relationships change, grow and evolve with them. You are always either growing together, or growing apart. When the relationship has reached a point when it needs to move to the next level, this will happen, providing that you are both ready too. I know that this will not answer your questions and address your issues, but I hope that it sheds some light on them and gives you something to think about. Gary x. Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies has truly lived. |
| 17 Feb 07, 2:23 AM fussyone 9 yrs |
I have a kind man and he is not gay...i don't think anyway...well he likes having sex with me - and sometimes we can be intimate without sex too  ...and you don't have to suck their cocks you know. |
