This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 30 Jan 07, 3:49 PM sardax UK, 6 yrs   |
Wouldn't it be useful to have an "Answer all" function in the memos where you could send the same response to every one selected.
Yes, I've had to sit through Bruce Almighty too | |
| 30 Jan 07, 3:55 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Not at all. This isn't about being badly treated. Who on earth would claim that a Domme should even bother? Maybe she looked at your profile befor eopening your memo, decided she didn't like what she saw and deleted the message? Or maybe she just had better things to do with her time? Maybe just maybe, you weren't good enough for her? People aren't exagerating when they talk about the number of unwanted memos a Domme receives. There are loads and loads of them. 99% of them are shite. I personally can't be bothered to respond to Yeth Mithreth I wish to worship your pinky finger whilst wanking off memos. It's dull and tell us nothing about the individual, bar they couldn't be bothered to take the time to write to you personally? The OP says he's written to lots of Mistresses who couldn't be bothered to reply. What exactly did you send to them? Anything about yourself or was it simply about your wants?
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| 30 Jan 07, 4:07 PM Deertan UK(N), 6 yrs |
It's a long road learning to be a sub and trying to find out what use you can be to someone. If you've had no replies don't worry, just try and learn and be patient. People are busy and you need to find out what thier needs are | |
| 30 Jan 07, 5:33 PM Bygones UK(N), 5 yrs |
May I ask what one should put in an initial memo? If you say they are shite, then what makes them good? Obviously, the one liners saying either nothing much or are just crude can be eliminated automatically, but what would attract someone to reply? Surely, someone somewhere is getting through as the site would not exist otherwise!
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| 30 Jan 07, 5:43 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs |
I would say you were justified in contacting them. Your let down is your profile and the desire for online only. When I get a memo I first look at the profile of the sender. All I know about you is you are looking for an online relationship, and you will be the best sub the world has ever seen and well nothing else really. Tell us about yourself, what you like doing, what you don't like, things that interest you. Where you live. Give your prospective contacts something to connect with. Have a look at other male sub profiles. How many of them say the same things as you? Lots of them. How many of them have a mistress? None of them. Science, the only religion that works even if you don't believe in it. | |
| 30 Jan 07, 5:45 PM StrictlyFunX UK(SO), 5 yrs |
Why should it be deemed bad manners not to reply? They do not know you. You have sent them a memo and they should not be indebted to you in any way. | |
| 30 Jan 07, 5:59 PM subpaul39 6 yrs |
Dommes get tons of memo's and also have real lives outside the scene (or IC). They can't expect to answer every one. Do you answer every bit of spam that comes through your e-mail inbox? A Domme friend of mine on b.com (a few years ago) changed her profile name because she wasn't happy with the old one - she got an average of thirty new memo's per day for about 2 weeks, which trickled down to about 15 a day after that. It took a long while for them to trail off! Moreover, she had friends and real-life subs online as well, all of whom she liked to keep in touch with. So unfortunately newbie subs can get lost in the melee. My advice would be to sound human and interesting, as well as submissive - there are tons of wannabe's out there, if you are going to get noticed, post on the boards, get noticed and take bohnanza's advice 2 posts up from mine.
Edited 30 Jan 07, 6:03 PM by subpaul39 | |
| 30 Jan 07, 6:15 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
Absolutely. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect a response. I get lots of memos; I find the time to reply to them all unless they're abusive. I personally think it's very rude not to.
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| 30 Jan 07, 7:00 PM subpaul39 6 yrs |
Additional: being an onliner is one really good way to be ignored. Many people on these sites who are looking to meet a sub will eventually require real-life meets, so online only will lose their interest. Though there are the exceptions to any rule and some of them are on IC. 2 good places to get the best info on what to do are IC's http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/about/personals especially the "How can I get more responses?" section. There is also Bondage.com's 'Getting Started' Forum, (though for meeting people I think IC is best (in my experience anyway) and it is also free) but b.com includes tips for newbies and info. on other stuff so is worth a look. Personally, I think READING profiles and actually deciding you might like this person and saying why are always a good start.
Furthermore, the 'Interests' section can be a bit thorny if you've never actually done any of the more esoteric things. But I found that the things that I thought i wouldn't like, I actually loved and sometimes stuff i thought i'd love did absolutely nothing for me. So it's a bit of a crap shoot, anyway, just say what you think you'll like. Japanes ropework was a particular shock - couldn't see how it could be exciting, but now I really get it! One final point, some Dommes will never respond, not because they're being rude but because they already have a large number of friends (and a partner) on IC and just aren't looking. Though in a perfect world it would be nice if they said so in their profile, wouldn't it? Edited 30 Jan 07, 7:03 PM by subpaul39 | |
| 30 Jan 07, 7:50 PM missmj UK(S), 5 yrs |
I've lurked as a member on here for a while - this is the first (and maybe last) time I have felt compelled to post. When I registered at this site, I was amazed and ALARMED at not only the volume of messages I received, but also the nature of 99%+ of them. To open a message which reads "Please Miss, will you shit in my mouth" is not going to elicit any sort of response. At least, not from me. It's ill-mannered to say the least. Edited 30 Jan 07, 7:51 PM by missmj |
