Posted by northernwench on Thu 25 Jan 07, 4:47 PM to northernwench's blog.
In my new neighbourhood there is a street I drive past after work that has a young lad, I would say about eleven? Who is always letting himself into the house around that time, with his satchel on his back.
In these winter months the light is always off and on a couple of occasions, including today, he is sat on the doorstep waiting to get let in, perhaps because he has forgotten his key. I get a chance to sit and really stare at him because the lollipop lady is always stopping the traffic when I go past.
The thing that gets to me, he is of the age where he is old enough to do all that,but still can't help looking half frightened and lonely when he is sat there. But too proud at his age to go round anyone elses house and wait for his mum/dad there.
It's not a 'god must contact social services'type thing, but a real flashback to the years I let myself in to find parent absent/pissed/both. It really reaches something very primitive and deep seated in me and I found myself wanting to invite him round to my house, totally inappropriately. I used to be and still am jealous of kids going home to houses where parents have the outside door to the porch open, and you can see a telly flickering and a fire burning.
I've found myself wondering what he's having for tea..is he making it himself, these days children are far more microwave savvy and he can probably knock something together quickly. I could writea book about the teas I knocked together for myself at that age..' a hundred ways with salad cream sandwiches'.
I might have wrong end of stick. He might be happy as a pig in shit once he gets in. But I kind of recognised a kindred spirit. I dont know why I found it so moving. Its the simplest things sometimes.
| 25 Jan 07, 4:48 PM Mel_SnM UK(BA), 7 yrs |
xx oh do shut up - write a letter to santa clause - he may give a shit... | |
| 25 Jan 07, 4:51 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
You up for salad cream sandwiches this weekend? No-one makes them like me.
'If gone- off bacon had a face, that would be it.' | |
| 25 Jan 07, 5:31 PM Mel_SnM UK(BA), 7 yrs |
well ummm - preferably not!
tea though - lots of tea oh do shut up - write a letter to santa clause - he may give a shit... Edited 25 Jan 07, 5:34 PM by Mel_SnM | |
| 25 Jan 07, 5:50 PM rubyd 8 yrs |
I'm with you there sistah. This kind of thing evokes a similar sadness in me. If I had my way, my house would be filled with waifs and stray animals. We care a lot about you people, yeah you bet, we care a lot. | |
| 25 Jan 07, 6:00 PM corriander_THM UK(FY), 9 yrs |
I was a latchkey kid. Both my parents worked and for years I not only had to occupy myself, and often cook tea (buttercream sarnies are so good) but I also had to collect my sister and brother from school and look after them. When my brother got into trouble (which he did all the time) it was always my fault. I feel for the lad on the doorstep, but I feel for the little girl I was. The girl who spent all the time being bullied by her younger brother and yet taking the blame for his wrongdoing because I was the older, more responsible child. Now I am older, I just don't know what the answer is. Family-friendly policies are all well and good, but not everyone can work for enlightened employers so some people have to work long hours in shitty jobs just to keep the wolf from the door. Oh shit, this post has really touched a nerve! corr What signature? "If chocolate be the food of love, smear it on! - No, no!" (remember fit club) "You are what you eat" (a chocolate brazil???). "A healthy mind in a healthy body!" No! I have it, "Orgasms are carnal chocolate, yet have negative calories!" | |
| 25 Jan 07, 6:26 PM northernwench 7 yrs |
Some of my stories are funny in retrospect. I used to make tea for my mum but not know when she would land home, when she did, invariably pissed, I would present her with a fabulous salad of chopped tomatoes in salad cream, with some cubes of cheese. Just what you want when you've spent all afternoon in the company of Bulmers Cider. Watching her sit and eat it my heart would swell with pride only to be dashed when it would end up on the stairs in her futile dash to the bathroom. Most of my latchkey days were all at the time of the Ripper and I'd go the newsagents where I did my paper round. They would open the side door saying what now? And I would say 'please Mr, I think the ripper has got my mum' and he would roll his eyes and let me in. His wife would come out of the kitchen and say the ripper, more like the bloody landlord of the Black Swan. And I knew if I stuck my bottom lip out enough they would make me hot crumpets then both sit circling their thumbs and tapping their fingers. I kept this habit up long after she would be at home in bed and used the opportunity to read copies of Smash Hits that I couldnt afford to buy. I must have been the most disappointed girl in Yorkshire when they caught Peter Sutcliffe as my cast iron excuse for free toasted teacakes got pissed on from a great height. 'If gone- off bacon had a face, that would be it.' | |
| 25 Jan 07, 7:18 PM kinky_winky UK(WD), 7 yrs  |
I was a latchkey kid too but in a way luckier than some. During her lunch break my mum would come home & get our "picnic" ready. So when we got home the coffee table would be filled with goodies.....scotch eggs, wrapped sarnies, crisps, chocolate bars, bottles of Tizer etc. In the winter months she would also leave the gas fire on low so it would be nice & cosy for us.
She was a great mum...... Don't worry about what they're doing, just Fuck me!! www.lovetrix.co.uk www.esentiahats.co.uk ~ www.watfordmunch.co.uk | |
| 25 Jan 07, 8:08 PM caprycorn 8 yrs |
I was a latchkey kid too, but I never saw it as a bad thing. I used to feel proud that I was seen as old enough and responsible enough to look after myself, cos my friends weren't etc etc. Mind you, I think I just had a spin doctor for a mum. I don't think I suffered for it... but then I wouldn't do it with Sherbet Face. I want her to have a childhood; I didn't have that much of one. Funny how even the neutral / positives can inspire you with a need to do something different for your own child. I didn't have much in the way of physical affection and don't remember my mum ever telling me that she loved me. So I tell Sherbet Face all the time, and she and I are very tactile. She'll probably hate me for it though, bound to be something I do wrong.
My imaginary friend thinks that you have a problem | |
| 25 Jan 07, 8:42 PM Oh_Ingrid UK(SW), 6 yrs |
You've touched a nerve with me here too, but for different reasons. I've got three kids who have to let themselves in more often than not because I'm working. It is a simple logistical fact that I can't always be there when they get home from school. Do I feel guilty about it ? Of course I do. Mum's always feel guilty no matter how hard they try. However, I'd like to think my sprogs don't have it quite so grim as the picture you paint. For one thing, there are three of them, so if one forgets a key another will let them in without too much of a wait. Picking up on the comment about a house full of animals, that is what my kids return to - two cuddly dogs and daft ginger tom cat. I'd like to think this means they never really need to feel alone, even if they are the only human in the house. As to salad cream sarnies, I am lucky enough to have a child who likes to bake. I am likely to return home to find he has made a cake if he's been hungry. Not great for the state of his teeth or my kitchen, but something that makes him very proud. Of course none of this is actually relevant to what you describe, these memories of loneliness and mild neglect that so many people have. I would simply say it isn't always that bad. Ingrid x |
