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IC : Weblogs : alexandraa : "Females that like to be Dominated - or... look back in time"
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Females that like to be Dominated - or... look back in time (12)
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Posted by alexandraa on Sun 21 Jan 07, 10:30 AM
Don't know what made me do it but I just went on an old, old site from years gone by, a community group I belonged to when I first started exploring BDSM. Grammatically I think it should be females “who” like to be dominated, not “that” like… I think we used to argue about that too. We used to argue about a great deal of things but had a good rowdy fun time doing it.
It seemed an essential part of my life at the time, an important information source, an opportunity to exchange thoughts and ideas and a fun place to be, a place to meet people for friendship, fun and sex, love and partnership. Indeed it was where I met a great many of my still current friends including the man who was to be central in my life for several years.
It died when the MSN UK chat rooms closed. The life just seemed to slip out of it and people drifted off in all sorts of directions looking for other more public places to gather on the net. A great many of us ended up on Informed Consent. Then drifted on again in the constant roll of humans seeking change I suppose.
It's like a ghost town now. The majority of postings are a couple of years old. You could all but hear the wind whistling through the emptiness, complete with tumbleweed. I took a look at some of the articles and forums, stuff that I wrote years ago, it all seems a bit cringe making now. I suppose it was a time and place thing. I wonder if MSN hadn't closed their chat rooms would the site have continued? I suppose so.
I'll always think about it with a fondness, I did after all make so many good friends through it. More importantly it was my test bed of all things BDSM. While there was quite a seriousness and formality to it in some ways, people showing a great deal of respect, where respect was due, in other ways there was a healthy disregard for idiot behaviour, from supposed subs or Doms.
I'm very glad I stumbled upon it in the first place and I do wonder occasionally what happened to some of the people who vanished off the face of the earth. It's interesting to think about what made that site fail where Informed Consent went from strength to strength. Effective site management and ease of access I think. The personals on IC of course are a very big draw to a lot of people.
I'd give you the link so you can go and be nosey but there's no point as you need to be a member before you can access it. There lies another reason it died I suppose, plus search engines not picking up the link, things like that I guess.
I'm very glad I found IC too. I've learned new things, made new friends and, look see, I still drift in and out. You do get bored because you do see new people arrive with their predictable questions and behaviours. Their need to question, to behave as grand uberdom or untersub, and then boast endlessly. A great many of us have done it and continue to do it, me included I hold my hand up. We all seem to think we are the first to discover what an endorphin high is like, or how fabulous it finally is to find the master of your heart. It's good to read things sometimes, to discuss things and remember things, but it can all get a bit repetitive too. Which I suppose is why the old faces wander off.
While I was into the old reminiscing I looked at another old an favourite site of mine too, Insex.com. I used to love that site. While I look at other BDSM porn sites with a mixture of boredom, disbelief (as in - how fake is that, cuh!) and mild fleeting interest, Insex always got me horny as hell, in need of a big session of my own. It was very real.
There's just something about it that goes that one step further, shocks and arouses all in one fluid movement. And yes it is still in existence click here. It has been bought by a Dutch company who of course are busy charging for everything they can think of charging for, you can still access some bits for free though. Enough that gave me a reason to wriggle this morning anyway.
That's enough looking back in time for a Sunday morning I think, don't you? Edited Sun 21 Jan 07, 10:34 AM by alexandraa
Replies
21 Jan 07, 10:37 AM
Chastiser
UK(HP), 8 yrs
 Y!
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alexandraa wrote:
and I do wonder occasionally what happened to some of the people who vanished off the face of the earth.
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some of us are still breathing(grin).
Mike
Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.
www.fetbid.com the free to buyer and seller kink friendly auction site. Place ya stuff on there and support the site.
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21 Jan 07, 10:39 AM
alexandraa
UK(NW), 5 yrs
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Oh yes, I remember you from those days too, there are a few of us pottering about.... with our zimmers.... Be careful what you wish for
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21 Jan 07, 10:57 AM
janeyy
UK, 3 yrs
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Hi Alex
Females that like to be dominated now thats a blast from the past,It was the first chatroom i went on when we got our pc,we had some good times in that room it gave me lots of friends,Some i haven't spoken to for years some that still remain great friends and a good friend that as sadly passed i still miss Clamps and was only thinking about him yesterday,I do miss it and since fems shut i don't think there has been another chatroom quite like it,I suppose for alot of people like me that chatroom gave them the chance to explore find out more about this lifestyle and in some ways make them what they are today sounds silly but i have spoken to friends that say without fems they wouldn't be where they are today IE married,in a long term relashionship and even with kids anyways enough ramblings from me but your blog made me smile this morning so thank you
janey xx |
21 Jan 07, 11:19 AM
subsumed
UK, 8 yrs
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A bit of nostalgia doesnt do us any harm..
One of my first weblogs here was about the chatroom that was largely responsible for opening my eyes as far as BDSM is concerned. It was part of a huge chat programme called Virtual Places, run by Excite and the room I found, quite by chance one night was called "Safe for New Subs." It was frequented mainly by Americans but there were a few Brits.
After Excite closed down VP I also tried the UK BDSM chatroom in AOL before getting a bit bored of chat rooms and packing them in. I had some good times but for me at least chatting on-line was a phase I went through at a particular time of my life and although I have fond memories of it, it's not something I wish to do any more. |
21 Jan 07, 11:29 AM
DewiCinci
UK, 6 yrs
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I would definitely say that it should be females *who* like to be dominated.
Dewi, picking up on the most important part of this post  "There ain't no lovin' like the lovin' you get from the refrigerator." - Kirstie Alley
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21 Jan 07, 11:33 AM
MisterBear
UK(WA), 5 yrs
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PD is still doing his Insex stuff on Infernal Restraints and Hard Tied, but it's not quite the same, think they've had to tone it down a bit. Still Kink.com aren't doing too badly, although sometimes it's down to who's in the shoot.
And Fems, that was a shame that MSN closed the chat room and that the BBB turned the pool tables into stalls. But maybe in some ways it was a good thing as it's made us move on rather than stagnate. But they were still fun days. Furry on the outside, Fluffy on the inside.
ARMADILLOS,
Bad Taste Bears, Liverpool Munch
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21 Jan 07, 11:59 AM
puddlecunt
UK, 3 yrs
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I did enjoy the chatroom on MSN and was sorry to see the end of it ( boo hiss MSN ! ). I still keep in touch with a few people from there, and its nice to catch up with others from time to time. It was the first BDSM chatroom i really stuck with, and i have many fond memories of the friendships i made, and the laughs we had. 
kate x He taught her to hold her gifts close, and offer them only to the right One.
He proved to her that reality is truth, and fantasy can be the cruelest lie.
http://positivepause.com
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21 Jan 07, 12:10 PM
hattie
UK(AL), 4 yrs
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My first experiences were through FTLTBD too, and i still miss the bantering, support and even the trolls to a point.
Fems gave me a place to learn safely, there were always more experienced Doms and subs who took time to answer my inane questions. Without the support network i would have unknowingly met up with a Dominant who had a history of physical and mental abuse who preyed on kee newbies. (allegedly).
I met many of the names of Fems, some i found as lovely and genuine as their online personas, some shyer, some more hyper, and some are still good friends.
Is this a case of rose coloured glasses - yes probably, because i can also remember the bitchiness and cat fights (and that was just the Doms  ). There were cliques, and rows, but on the whole i always look back to those days with huge fondness.
As alex says we seem to have scattered to the four corners of the BDSM world now, and that is a shame. Fems gave me and others a nurturing environment to discover who they really are.
If you can't say something nice - Don't say anything at all!
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21 Jan 07, 12:49 PM
Chastiser
UK(HP), 8 yrs
Y!
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i notice that yahoo chat rooms seem fairly operable, but have no lifestyle content at the mo.
Mike Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.
www.fetbid.com the free to buyer and seller kink friendly auction site. Place ya stuff on there and support the site.
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21 Jan 07, 2:51 PM
Shamanka
8 yrs
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Fems was the first BDSM chatroom I ever went in to. I used to love the community site too and when I gave up going in to chatrooms, I stuck with the comm site and had my daily digest fix. I never posted much on there but I learned a lot from what I read and was very sad when it was shut down along with a lot of other adult communities at the time. It was never the same after that was it? It died a death.
Like the others who have posted here, I made many friends from fems, some of whom I'm still in touch with, or bump in to every now and then out on the scene, yourself included Alex
It's strange that you posted this thread today, because I was sat only yesterday thinking about fems and where all the people from there have gone,and if some of them are here on IC but with different nicknames and we don't know who each other are. I still use the same nick as I did on Fems but it would be interesting to see if others reading this, come out of the woodwork and say hi again
Bev
xx "You can ask others how to climb mountains,but you still have to do it to really know what it is like and what is up there."
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