Posted by cerrynn1 on Wed 27 Dec 06, 11:27 AM to cerrynn1's blog.
Happy Christmas/Saturnalia/Winter Solstice/Channuka/O-Sho-Gattsu/New Year's, to each and every one of you (no doubt I have missed a few festive events, but hey, at least I have tried!) Hope everyone is contented and well and peaceful and stuffed to the gills with mince pies. I know we are.
I used to have no trouble at all thinking of things to write in weblogs, but have felt for quite a while that I had nothing in particular to say. And thus, I have not written. I have a day or two or three off now, and only a little subbie-business to do as Matou sadly had to go back to work today. So ... here goes.
Basic catch up, for anyone who knows or or may care: Matou and I are still together (as you will have gathered from the above), still 24/7 (although this is more subtle perhaps than it used to be -- we probably look pretty vanilla to the uninitiated). We can still be primarily sighted in the West Midlands although we demo'd at Kinkclusive again this year, and have been immensely flattered to be invited to C-munch to do a couple of our things over the past year. In the real world, work is frustrating and finances depressing, but no matter. Having each other more than makes up for it (Hey, you in the back! Stop making those gagging noises!! This is serious!!!)
Insofar as the kind of introspective, "BDSM theory" type of things that I used to write, I may have reached the bottom of that particular well. I've been in the real-life, public scene now for .... goodness, it will be five years in a few months. Sometimes it feels like I've been doing this all my life, and at other times I feel like I'm still very much a newbie. I am also approaching one of those big, nasty, "ends with a zero" type birthdays in two and a half weeks which is leading me to be, if not introspective, at least retrospective. I started thinking about what I have learned in the past (almost) five years.
(That's your cue, people -- "So what have you learned, cerrynn?!? Please, please tell us!!!")
So glad you asked. I have learned:-
1. That the world of the scene is not that different from the vanilla world. When I first got involved, I was definitely viewing things through rose-tinted shades and was convinced that everyone in the scene was more sophisticated, more intelligent, more tolerant and more ... well, more *everything* than were all those boring old normal people. I still think that, usually, we do tend to be more tolerant ... in some ways. Our very closest friends are all in the BDSM scene -- they are all wonderful people upon whom I depend and cherish more than I can say.
But ... on the whole, I have learned that the proportions of the intelligent to the willfully idiotic, the tolerant to the intolerant, the lovely and pleasant to the annoying-bordering-on-obnoxious, *on average* is about the same as in Vanilla Land. (Of course, if you are reading this blog *you* are, without a doubt, one of the creme de la creme of the intelligent, tolerant, lovely and pleasant people!)
2. I have learned that the most important quality to bring to the BDSM lifestyle is a good sense of humour, closely tied to a willingness to not take yourself too seriously. Followed closely by the realisation that one always has more to learn.
3. I have learned that friendships in the scene, like friendships anywhere, wax and wane (and sometimes wax again), have their seasons, sometimes go from strength to strength, sometimes fade gently away. Something that I wish were not the case, but it seems to be so, for reasons that have nothing to do with the people involved but simply echoes Life In General and the ways of the world.
4. I have learned that when, after much agonising and soul searching, you decide to Come Out to your closest past-life/vanilla friend, the response is probably not going to be Shock and Awe. The response will more likely be "Oh, really? That's interesting. Did I tell you what my stupid husband/boyfriend/child said to me last week?" (Of course, alternatively, the response may well be "Does that mean you're a swinger?")
To us, it's a profound, life-changing realisation of one's deepest self. To them, it's Trainspotting in Funny Costumes (if we're lucky!).
5. I have learned that there is nothing so important as being completely, totally, honest and open with one's partner. This is Matou's and my golden rule, and so far it's working. We have been together for nearly five years now and have not yet had a single row. There have been a couple of misunderstandings and a couple of incidences of hurt feelings, but no blazing fights. Or even heated arguments. Not one. This continues to be a marvel to me, coming (as I did) from a fifteen year relationship/marriage which was charactised by little but Blazing Rows.
And we still never run out of things to talk about. It's bloody amazing.
6. I have learned that despite a general lifelong skepticism about the concept of "soulmates", that they do exist. I am blessed beyond words and worlds to have found mine, and to belong entirely to him.
Happy New Year (a few days early) to my beloved Dominant, best friend, husband, lover and soulmate, Matou ... I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ai shiteru, Sensei, itsumo ...
All my love ...
your cerrynn{M}
Edited Wed 27 Dec 06, 11:34 AM by cerrynn1
| 27 Dec 06, 11:40 AM firemynx_B UK(B), 11 yrs   |
That was so beautiful 
Thank you for writing that, and sharing it with all, I hope it touched people as much as it touched me x And I'm lying on the table, Washed out in the flood, Like a Christian fearing vengeance from above. I don't pretend to know what you want, But I offer love. |
| 27 Dec 06, 12:03 PM Sweetiejar UK(S), 11 yrs |
Its been a joy to watch your demos at CMunch and to witness the obvious love between you. Long may it continue is what I say. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sweetiejar |
| 27 Dec 06, 4:20 PM lucky_1 7 yrs |
Please will you carry on writing? Your blogs are the stuff of legend in this household and sadly missed. Great to read and Happy Birthday and Anniversary when they arrive. love lucky The more that pleasure turns into pain, the more inclined I am to stand and take it. Texas 2005 |
| 27 Dec 06, 5:58 PM BlueVelvet UK(B), 9 yrs |
*Big hugs* and much love to you both. Sam n cerbie That's S and M...not M and S...they just make really BIG pants! *Wink* |
| 28 Dec 06, 3:20 PM maihri UK, 8 yrs |
Lovely to see you blogging again, do pleeease carry on? Happy New year to the both of you.
xxx Maihri |
