What gives you the right? (3)

Silver_Ribbons's profile

Posted by Silver_Ribbons on Sat 4 Nov 06, 7:16 AM

What gives you the right to judge another?

Some people here I know, have been involved in the scene for years, some were lucky enough to discover their inner strengths before they became involved in the dreaded vanilla lifestyle.

Good for you.

Does that mean those that looking for help aren't welcome here? Does it mean perhaps that those attempting to come to terms with things aren't entitled to take things are their own pace? Shouldn't ask questions? Should they be the focus of disdain because they don't run to the car on first instruction to find the nearest hotel?

Be you dominant or submissive, proffessional or just in it for something to do on a saturday night, how would you approach things if you had not been so lucky to have discovered the pleasures of giving or accepting ones service while single.

Not everyone here is out to decieve remember.

We are all unique, and therefore no one here should be tainted with any particular stereotype. Disparaging remarks and predjudice toward the vanilla world seems a little silly to me dispite the hard times it can cause you. Because you are a practiced submissive, or perhaps an aclaimed dominant, have not you learned to accept the difference strokes that combine to make this world? Admittedly it would be easier, without the lack of understanding presented from those outside your world but as mature adults we can not just wish them away, or ignore them. You all started somewhere, no matter how long ago it was, have the good grace to be grateful if your path was easier than some.

Replies

4 Nov 06, 10:01 AM
Disaray
UK, 7 yrs
I think, if I am to be totally honest on this, we are all guilty of judging people to some degree or another. It starts when you meet someone, you either like that person, you don't like that person or your non-commital. You make a decision based on that first meeting, whether you'd like to hang out with this person, whether you'd like to distance this person, or whether you'd like to tie them to a tree, beat them half senseless, and then fuck their remains to a thousand orgasms....... Sometimes the other person judges you in the same manner, sometimes they judge you differently. Sometimes you find yourself distancing yourself from someone who wants to tie you to a tree and fuck you to a thousand orgasms. I believe in the nilla world they call that sanity btw....
Most of us judge in one way or another, we try not to, but I'm betting anyone reading this can think of someone they have met, that they would really like to spend more time with, someone they'd rather not see again, and someone who they'd like to do their own version of number three to. I guess its a natural process??
It becomes a (for want of a better word) sin, when people become hurtful with their judging, when they put down that or those, which they don't understand or like. Its when the mind is closed, when nothing can make you change your first impressions. To be honest your asking the question "what gives you the right to judge?" By asking the question your judging someone, or some situation that has occurred and saying this is wrong, possibly even these people are bastards.. A decision based on what you think is right and what you think is wrong based on your morals, and outlook.
One of thenicest people I know and someone whom I don't see enough of once said in chat, "oh for fucks sake stop whining if you don't fucking like the scene get the fuck out, but just stop whining." Or something to that effect..
Which is not what I'm saying to you, this person is kind warm and caring to the point that not only those in the room but she herself was horrified by the outburst, yet at the time she was at a stressful time in her life, and at her wits end and she vented. Sometimes those who judge do so because its personal, they don't like someone for whatever reason and they go for the jugular everytime. Sometimes its just circumstance, out of character, sometimes its their thing they love to cause shit, make pain, give hurt.
You are not going to go through life without being judged, the thing is your not going to go through life without judging either. You judge, I judge, we judge, its how we make our decisions, we judge a car by its cost, or its look, or its reliabilty, its fuel economy, its cost to insure, its theft factor, whatever it is thats important to us when buying a car and we choose our car based on our judgements of the facts as we know them.
Judging isn't the bad thing, its how we react when we judge, its how we react when we are judged, thats good or bad. Oh fuck I don't like this person, so now I'm free to treat them like the prick I think they are.... There is so much more that could be said on this I think, but perhaps I've said enough..
There is a latin phrase that I cannot remember it has the word carborundum in it, wish I could remember it but its translation is "Don't let the bastards grind you down"........ It really fits best on judging...
I'm getting less shallow with each passing day...
Edited 4 Nov 06, 10:02 AM by Disaray

4 Nov 06, 10:27 AM
Silver_Ribbons
UK, 2 yrs
I agree, we all have opinions and they all bias how we approach a person, how we think of a person. For as many folk that I know in the scene that are open minded and able to accept a person for what they are, be it size, taste or lifestyle, there are a growing number of those that struggle to do so.
Perhaps you worded clearer what I was attempting so imperfectly to say.
We are all human.

21 Jul 08, 2:36 PM
yetsyni
US, 5 mths
Y! Noli nothis permittere te terere. Said to be in proper Latin, but it doesn't have the punch of "Nil bastardo carborundum" which isn't Latin, but sounds good.


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